INFINITY

0.42 - Accordance

I laid down on Chad's arms, with scotch on my left and Martha on my right, both being spent.

That night, was not what they knew. All of that, murder of my mom, my dad burying her later, me holding her lifeless hands, watching her eyes go lifeless and even the cops finding my mother's body all because of my crying led to me being the beginning.

Why did I try to find the answer when I was the question the whole time? Was it to blame someone else ? Was it to blame others for my ideals?

23 June, 1989
7:00 pm

It was a day where you can get away with hiding a body but that was not my father's case. I stood there, with his blood covered jacket wrapped around me that only caused me to shiver more. I saw him, burying my mother, with the "young" light in my eyes that I was unsure of. The sight of my mom holding my hands the moment before her eyes went lifeless kept being replayed infinite times.

A strange happiness surrounded me amidst the chaos. My mother, who I swore to him was getting on with someone abroad was being buried by him, by his own hands. She's a betrayer that wanted to get away from him, with his money and me, his daughter.

I was thankful I told that to my dad finally, following my ideals which is to not betray anyone. But him, he betrayed me by putting a bullet in his head followed by the police officers and my so-called-relatives that showed no interest in me unless it's the money I possessed.

5:00 pm
(14 year old)

It was a long but pleasant day of school, with Martha and without homework. I was headed home earlier than usual because of the storm that was said to pass by this evening, stronger than ever.

As I strolled my way past every block to reach my home, my eye caught a glimpse of a lady with blue eyes, her face buried in make-up kissing a tall, handsome stranger in the nearby alley. I wouldn't have paid attention to it, if it wasn't for the silence before the predicted storm. It was my mom.

I knew it.Those hundred calls, the night outs with no explanations and the week long trips abroad cleared it all up.

I sprinted the rest of the road and when I stepped into the house, I saw my dad on the couch, sitting slouched with hands over his head not on his usual professional attire.
Without a moment of hesitation, I walked up to him with my proud walk thinking I'm about to save our company's future from a gold digger.

>>>>>>>

I was even more surprised than my dad, surprised that my dad trusted me so much to the point he killed her and took me with him to witness it. It was tragic but that only made me trust him more but also not. The memories I saved made tears slip my face. It all happened in a split second.

>>>>>>>

The days in the slum was when I realized I missed my mom, my old one that I went to the park with, the one that I went to the convenience store to buy groceries and the one that comforted me in those expensive parties or simply the one who used to care for me but definitely not the one that I saw kissing the other day.

And dad, do I really miss him?

Of course I do. But not the one who I saw on the reflection of the rain drops.

"Missing something?", Martha asked.

A smile crept up onto my lips on how well she knows me even in her mindless state.

Looking at her naive face made me reminisce how cruel people can be, including me. Suddenly all those drunkards looked decent. I've realised that kindness and compassion doesn't come with money but with personality. My dad, the richest in Illinois went as far as killing his love of his life for who she's not. But, Martha and Chad were willing to give up their work life for me, just for me, my personality not money.

Back when I was there, People didn't care, they didn't care if someone got murdered right next to them. They let people be however they wanted. People are selfish, just like me. They make mistakes, all of them do, some for money others for love, but end up failing miserably when wanting to erase them, just like me.

Everyone does mistakes, the ones they cannot erase. Everyone's different in the same way. They don't realise that those mistakes cannot be erased by erasers but should be overwritten using the correction pen.

This is the moment I have to overwrite.

I looked next to me. The most priced possession of mine, Martha and Chad fighting for the last chicken. I sure made a mistake but not this time.

I found my family, people who will accept me with all your mistakes.

Sometimes the answers are simple, unlike the question.

I decided to let it go, just like others. I decided to live for the one who died for me, because of me...

I loved my dad and thought he deserved the truth. At the end, I realised that it was my mum that was to be protected. I made a mistake and I thought about how it would've ended what if it really was the other way around? What if it was my dad that was really to be protected? Then, I would have succeeded

Sometimes, it's not about you. It's about what you decide to.