AUGUST || Bucky Barnes x OC

32

Bucky looked at his watch again, nervously running his fingers through his hair as he tried to take a deep breath.

"I need to tell you something" had been the only sentence she had spoken across a hurried phone call, followed by a text that told him to meet her at the spot where they had first kissed. Bucky was leaning up against his bike, trying to take in the beautiful view over Bladesville, when he heard the sound of tires rubbing against the gravel.

He whipped his head around quickly to find Valerie coming up the forest sunken trail.

"You came on your bike?" He walked towards her as she was getting off. "I would have come and picked you up, Vee" He reached out for her and pulled her in, placing a kiss on her lips but finding that she seemed to be in a rush to pull away.

"Is everything okay?" He studied her mixed expression.

"Yeah..uhm...everything is fine. Come on, let's sit.." She grabbed his hand and they walked over to his motorcycle. He could tell by just the sheer tone of her voice that something wasn't right. Valerie took her usual spot, sitting with her back leaned up against the steering, and Bucky sat facing her.

"What's going on, Vee? You're kinda freaking me out." His hand found its way up her thigh, rubbing in gently.

"I have some news.." She leaned forward, grabbing his hand.

"Are you..?" Bucky's eyes widened as his gaze shifted down to her stomach.

Valerie gasped, shoving him playfully, "What? No! I'm not pregnant, Bucky!" He realized how much of his anxiety subsided as soon as that was confirmed.

"I just..I mean, you never know" He shrugged his shoulders, his grip on her thigh remaining just as gentle.

"You mind if I share the actual news now?" She rolled her eyes at him, how she always did, in that way he found so endearing.

"Go ahead" He smiled.

"So...at the beginning of the summer, Nat and MJ convinced me to send in an application to this ridiculously popular photography class. I knew there was no way I would get it, but I thought fuck it. Worst case, I just get a rejection letter. Best case..." She was stumbling nervously over her words.

"...anyways. I- I heard back from them yesterday. And I wasn't expecting anything besides something along the lines of, Ms. Banner we regret to inform you – you know the spiel" She chuckled at him nervously.

"You got in, didn't you?" Bucky's face lit up, and it caused her heart to sink.

"..I received the offer to fill a spot for someone who declined theirs. I have 2 days to decide" She whispered.

"Vee, that's amazing! Tell me more about it!" Bucky leaned in, and it made her stomach twist.

"It's really pristine in the photography world. Very very hard to get into. Super expensive. And it's in the city." Her eyes searched his face, his expression still intrigued.

"And if you do well, they give you a position as an intern at this huge gallery.." Her voice was filled with hesitation.
"...why do I get the feeling you think this is a hard choice? Obviously, you gotta do it!" Bucky tapped her leg playfully.

"It's in the city. The class. But the internship is in San Francisco..and the mother-company is... in Amsterdam" Her voice trailed off at the reveal.

"So...you would be in San Francisco, and then possibly Amsterdam?" Bucky was catching on.

"If I were to get picked for the internship, then yes. And If I were to actually get hired based off of that internship, then yes. Amsterdam." She cleared her throat.

She could feel Bucky's hand pulling back from her.

"But, it's a lot of If's, and nothing is certain yet. I haven't even decided if I should say yes to the spot in the class. I mean I would have to convince my parents and that's a whole other hoop to jump through, I don't-" She was stumbling nervously across her words again.

"Why wouldn't you get the internship...or the job? you're amazing at what you do, Vee." Bucky's face spoke of nothing but excitement for her, but he failed to hide the sadness in his voice.

"Bucky-" She started but he interrupted again.

"I want you to be happy, Vee" He reached out and grabbed her face, placing a soft kiss on her forehead.

"Come with me" she blurted out.

"You know I can't do that" He smiled softly, stroking her head.

"Why?" Her eyebrows knitted in frustration.

"You know why. I have school, and then there's the business. My mom and my sister. I can't just...move to Amsterdam, Vee" He was doing everything he could not to let his voice crack at the thought of being so far away from her.

"It's not fair. Why don't you get to live your life the way you want?" She whispered.

"What does that mean?" Bucky looked surprised, pulling away from her slightly.

"I mean...you shouldn't have to do everything they expect of you is all" Valerie realized she might've spoken too bluntly.

"Just because it's expected of me doesn't mean it's not what I want" Bucky's tone of voice grew more defensive.

"Is it though? Is it what you want for the rest of your life? Living here in Bladesville, taking care of the business and staying on the Estate?" Valerie pushed.

"I don't get what's so wrong with that?" He was growing more irritated.

"I just don't understand it" Valerie shrugged, her voice slightly breaking with regret.

"How could you? You don't have people depending on you, Vee. And I don't understand why you're always trying to run away from yourself, from this life you're lucky enough to have." Bucky got up from the motorcycle.

Valerie turned around, facing him where he now paced.

"Well, excuse me if I don't wanna end up like our parents! Going about the same day over and over again. Debutante balls, and the country club, and fucking tennis! I could gouge my own eyes out just thinking about it!" She raised her voice.

"We don't have to do all of that! The occasional country club visit or tennis game shouldn't be the dread of your life if it means you get to spend it with the person you love. We would have each other, Vee!" Bucky matched her tone.

"It's not what I want my life to be Bucky...I want to travel, I want to explore, live on my own terms. Every day I spend here is another day I feel like I'm choking, like I'm being crushed beneath expectations and bullshit image, and what looks and sounds right. I can't do it forever. I don't even know if I can do it for much longer" The last sentence slipped out of her without her control.

"When would you leave for the city?" Bucky shifted his gaze from the ground up to her.

"In 10 days" Her eyes welled with tears. "Bucky I haven't decided-"

"Yes. Yes you have." He sounded defeated.

"This is not how I wanted it to go. I thought you would be happy for me. I thought we could figure something out" She let her head fall into her hands.

"I am happy for you, Vee. I'm actually fucking ecstatic for you. I want you to have everything you want in life. I want to give you everything you want in life. But I can't give you this. I can't do this for you...This is all you." He moved closer to her, wanting to touch her but scared of what it would do to him.

"But I love you" Valerie looked up at him, her eyes filled with tears. The sight of her this distraught triggered something within him. A protective instinct that made him put aside his own concerns and emotions. He walked over to her immediately, wrapping her up in his arms as he stroked her head.

"It's gonna be okay.." As soon as the words left his mouth he realized he was lying through his teeth.