4town DDLC Au Rewrite | Some changes DISCONTINUED

Part 7 Act 1

"... Mm... ..." Taeyoung states at the poem. A minute passes, more than enough time for him to finish reading. "Um..." "Oh! S-Sorry...! I forgot to start speaking... U-Um!" "It's fine, don't force yourself." "I'm not... I just need to put my thoughts into words. Hold on... ...Okay. This is your first time writing a poem, right?" "Er, yeah... Why do you ask?" "I'm just making sure. I guessed that it might be after reading through it." "Ah, so it's that bad." "No!! ...Did I just raise my voice...? Uu, I'm so sorry..." Taeyoung buries his face in his hands. I couldn't help but notice it's been several minutes and we haven't really haven't gotten anywhere. It might take Taeyoung a while to get used to new people... "It's fine, I really didn't notice. What were you saying?" "Right...um... It's just thay there are specific writing habits that are usually typical of new writers. And having been through that myself, I kind of learned to pick up on them. I think the most noticeable thing I recognize in new writers is that they try to make their style very deliberate. In other words, they tend to pick a writing style separate from the topic matter, and they form-fit the two together. The end result is that both the style and the expressiveness are weakened." Once Taeyoung finds his train of thought, it's as if his demeanor totally changes. His stammering is completely gone, and he sounds like an expert. "Of course, that's not something you can be blamed for. There are so many different skulls and techniques that go into writing even a simple poem. Not just finding them, but getting them to work together is probably the most challenging part. It might take you some time, but it all comes with practice, and learning by example, and trying new things. I also hope that everyone else in the club gives you valuable feedback. Z can be a little biased, though..." "Biased? How?" "U-Um... Well... Never mind... I shouldn't be talking about people like that... Sorry..." "It's fine." I'm not sure if Taeyoung is apologizing to himself, me, or to Z. "Do you mind if I read your poem now?" "Please do! I'd love to share my thought process behind it..." Taeyoung smiles dreamily, as if that's a rare opportunity for him. Which itself is kind of funny... ...After all, isn't this supposed to be a literature club?

Ghost under the light

The tendrils of my hair illuminate beneath the amber glow.

Bathing.

It must be this one.

The last remaining streetlight to have withstood the test of time.

The last yet to be replaced by the sickening blue-green hue of the future.

I bathe, calm, breathing air of the present but living in the past.

The light flickers.

I flicker back.

"... I...I'm sorry I have such terrible handwriting!" "What?? I wasn't thinking that at all..." "But it took you a long time to read..." "Ah- Well, I just don't read script very often... I actually think your handwriting is pretty." "Eh? That's...a relief..." "Also, I liked the poem. Even though it's short, it was really descriptive." "It wasn't too short? I usually write longer poems..." "Not at all." "I'm...really glad you like it. I'll be honest... Since it's our first time sharing, I wanted to write something a little more mild. Something easy to digest, I suppose." "Are you into ghosts, Taeyoung?" "Huhu. Actually, the story isn't about ghost at all, Robaire." "Really? I must have totally missed the point..." "Well, I suppose you did only glance over it, after all... But remember that poets often express their own thoughts, feelings, and experiences in their work. They usually do more than a simple sotry, or paint a picture. In this case, perhaps the subject of the poem is only being symbolically compared to a ghost. Lingering in her last remaining place of comfort, unable to let go of the past. And soon to be left with nothing..." "...That's a lot more solemn, putting it that way. I hadn't even thought of that... That's impressive." "It's nothing, really... Well...it makes me happy that you think that. Just remember that it won't be long before you pick up on these things, too." "Yeah, maybe you're right. I guess I'll have to keep trying." "I'm counting on you."
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Who should I show my poem to next?

Jesse💙>
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