I hadn't ever thought about having this peace in eight years. Even now, I daydream about having the happiest life possible for my mom and I. But right now, I'm more relieved to see my mother cooking and finally smiling warmly. Finally, we put everything back together that had broken. The sufferings, pain, and silent cries have come to an end.
"Nak? 'Di ba sabi mo sa'kin ngayon 'yong last day ng band concert sa school niyo?" Tanong ni Mama habang ihinahain ang ulam.
"Hala! Wala pa 'kong isusuot!" Napalakas ko pang sabi nang magsink in sa'kin na mamaya na 'yon ng 1p.m.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA I gotchu, anak." Aniya niya saka umupo at sinandukan ako ng kanin.
"Naalala mo 'yong na-i-kwenyo ko sa'yo dati na no'ng college ako, may party kami? Tapos yung suot ko na 'yon, uso pa rin ngayon?"
"Opo.. don't tell me--"
"Ayun ang susuotin mo! Gan'yan na gan'yan din kasi ang katawan ko sa'yo noon. Mamaya kukuhanin ko 'yon. Dalian mo na kumain kasi 10 a.m na, bibiyahe pa tayo."
"Okieee, ma. Gustong-gusto ko na rin makita 'yang outfit na sinasabi mo eh." Sagot ko. "Sobrang ganda nyun, talagang magii-stand out ka from the crowd." Sagot niya saka nagpatuloy naman kaming kumain.
After kong kumain, naligo agad ako saka nag-ayos habang inaantay ko 'yong damit na sinasabi ni Mama. Honestly, hindi naman ako nagwo-worry sa itsura nung damit dahil alam kong fashionista ang nanay ko, partida may edad na siya. Kaya kapag sinabi niyang maganda, legit 'yon.
Habang tinatapos ko ang make-up ko, kumatok naman si Mama sa kwarto ko saka binuksan ang pinto.
"Here it is!!" Masayang-masaya niyang sabi. I wasn't happy because of the outfit, but because seeing my mom's smile makes me really feel more energized.
"A red feathered strapless jumpsuit!?" Masaya kong sabi. I've been wanting to have this kind of outfit because it was really nice! Lalo na't nagco-compliment yung kulay ng tela sa skin tone ko.
"Yes!!" Abot tengang ngiti na sagot ni Mama. Tinulungan naman ako agad ni mama isinuot iyong jumpsuit.
"Hala, anong ipa-partner kong heels ma?" Tanong ko habang inia-ayos niya iyong likuran ng damit.
"Same lang naman tayo size ng paa, nak, 'di ba?" Tanong niya. Tumango naman ako. "Bagay dito sa jumpsuit yung red pointed toe thin high heels bow bling ko.." Aniya niya.
"Gagi, ma.. bago lang yun. Yung heels ko na lang na silver." Sagot ko saka humarap ako sakanya at iniaayos niya naman ang buhok ko.
"So, what? Anak! Bagay yun d'yan. Wait, kukunin ko saka yung bag." Sabi niya. Napangiti na lang tuloy ako. Honestly, I feel more connected to my mom after what happened yesterday.
Everything is settled now that we finished clearing things. She asked for my forgiveness countless times. But I later understood that during the eight years we had been suffering, my mom had actually been living alone. She only has a little child who is unable to fully comprehend the situation, no siblings with whom she can talk about her problems, no parents with whom she can confide, and no friends with whom she can share what she is going through. Not until Charles' mother spilled all of what she knew did it even cross my mind. In those years, I felt selfish. However, I'm glad my mother followed me that day because otherwise, she might not have realized how foolish she was.
What I learned during those years of suffering was the fact that I shouldn't only consider my own difficulties; I should also consider how the problem is affecting other people. I should always check on the wellbeing of those who are close to me. It is not wrong to ask about the well-being or difficulties of those who are close to you. By simply asking the individuals who matter to us, "Are you okay?" weren't going to end up losing our lives. I also learned how to let go of people who don't deserve my love and attention. Despite the fact that you may have forgiven them, their actions were not justified. We can set boundaries to these people as we finally learn to forgive them.
Trust me, you will find serenity if you forgive these people. Karma will always be behind us, after all.
"Ito na, nakkkk!" Masayang aniya ni Mama.
"Oh!? Bakit ka umiiyak!?" Pag-aalalang tanong niya. Ni-hindi ko nga alam na umiiyak na pala ako. Pinunasan niya ang luha ko.
"Anak, what's wrong?" Malumanay niyang tanong.
"No, ma. I'm happy lang." Nakangiti kong sagot. Niyakap niya naman ako nang mahigpit.
"Tears of joy, huh? Hahahaha. I'm happy din, anak. Even the word happy cannot express how much happy I am." Sagot niya.
"Anak, I was planning pala na i-benta itong bahay na 'to." Pag-iba niya ng usapan. Kumawala ako sa pagkakayakap, "Huh?"
"I think, it's the time to start again. We can be happy just the two of us. I feel suffocated din kasi sa bahay na 'to. Feels like heavy. I don't know why. Tinanong ko si Abi, iyong mama ni Charles, may bini-bentang bagong bahay doon malapit sakanila. As in, kakagawa lang niya. Malaki na rin naman 'yong ipon ko, kakasya siya do'n, anak." Paliwanag ni mama habang hawak-hawak niya ang kamay ko.
"Whatever makes you comfy, ma. I'm fine. Ayoko na rin sa bahay na 'to. I don't feel at home." Sagot ko saka ngumiti.
"Saka, good thing din 'yon, 'di ba? Malapit na yung bahay natin sa boyfriend mo."
"MA!" Napakunot noo kong sigaw.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Bakit? Totoo naman eh." Pang-aasar pa niya.
"Dalian mo naaa! Tangek 1:30p.m na oh! Mag-3p.m ka na makakarating niyan!" Pag-iba pa niya nang usapan. Dali-dali naman agad akong nag-asikaso. Ihinatid ako ni mama gamit ang kotse niya. Ngayon na lang ulit kami magkasamang sumakay sa kotse na 'to. Ang tagal na rin nung huling sakay namin dito.
Ilang sandali'y nasa tapat na kami ng school. Yari na naman ako, 2:30p.m na kasi! Hays.
Aktong palabas na sana ako ng sasakyan nang tawagin ako ni mama. "Nak?" malumanay niyang pagtawag.
"Hmm?"
"Thank you" Nakangisi niyang sabi. Hindi ko maintindihan kung anong pinupunto ni Mama. "For what, ma?" Pagtatakang tanong ko.
"for continuing to choose to live even if I am the worst mother during the difficult times we are both going through.. I sincerely apologize for being a useless mother to you, anak. From now on, I'll do my hardest to be the best mom I can be. After all, there's still time, right?" Tearfully, she said.
"Ma namaaan! H'wag mo na ako paiyakin hahahahahaha. There's still time, ma. We can fix everything. I'm really sorry din dahil naging walang kwenta akong anak during the times you are in pain. Let's continue to live the happiest, uh?" As I wiped away her tears, I said. She responded by nodding and giving me one of those lovely smiles I haven't seen in over 8 years.
"Go ahead na! You're super late na oh? Ang dami nang istudyante hahahaha" Pag-iba niya ng usapan.
"Okay, ma. Pasok na 'ko sa school." Sabi ko saka tinanggal ang seatbelt.
"Ay, ma? Wala kang pasok, 'di ba? Punta ka na lang kaya kay Tita Abi? Kasi you know-"
"I will, anak. Sabi niya kahapon dumeretso daw ako pagkahatid ko sa'yo, magshopping kami ng appliances and you knoooow!" Masayang sabi niya.
"Okayyy, I'll update you na lang po later. Ingat kayooo, enjoy! I love you, ma!" I was finally able to tell my mom I love her for the first time in eight years. It feels different. I feel as though the weight I've been carrying for a long time has finally been gone.
"I love you, nak. Mag-enjoy ha!" Sagot pa niya habang papalabas ako ng sasakyan. Binigyan ko naman siya ng butterfly kiss saka agad pumasok sa loob.
I thought that I would never be able to feel this kind of happiness. I am aware that there is still something missing from the smile I have when I'm around with my peers. I feel as though I'm in heaven as I've finally found the true happiness I've been longing to, along with peace and love.
YOU ARE READING
Surprised, It Was Him!
Teen Fiction"At first, there was an unknown guy who I thought I liked, but I then realized Charles was the one I really can not let go of. Am I really attached to him more than a friend?" - Belle Disclaimer: Any places, names, actions, moments, and other matter...
