EUDAEMONIC - p. jackson

chapter fifteen

maeve stepped into the labyrinth right as the volcano exploded. annabeth didn't see it, but maeve surely did. she screamed, lunging for the doors which were already closing. annabeth pulled her away before the doors could crush her.

"no!" maeve screamed, slamming her fists against the closed door. it wouldn't open from the inside. "no! no! he's- i never- no!"

annabeth tried talking to her, but maeve couldn't hear her. everything went quiet. her throat closed in on itself, suffocating every breath she tried to take. her mind ran on an endless loop of panic. she felt as if her body wasn't really hers, but instead she was watching a strange, strange girl.

it took twenty minutes for maeve to calm down enough to speak, or, well, hear. her eyes were swollen from crying, and her throat sore from screaming gibberish.

"he's gone..." she whispered, the first real sentence she'd said yet.

annabeth sat down on the ground next to her. "he's not gone, maeve."

"you don't get it!" maeve choked out the words. "you didn't see what i saw. the volcano exploded."

annabeth looked skeptical, as if she didn't want to believe it. "are you sure?"

"yes." maeve regained slight composure. "i promise you i'm not crazy; it was real."

"well..." annabeth stared off into nothingness. "i'm sure he's fine. he's gotten out of countless crazy things before. i mean, on our first quest, he jumped off the fricken st. louis arch and survived."

maeve knew annabeth was trying to cheer her up, but she was still stuck in her own world. "i never even said i love you," she mumbled, so quiet that annabeth couldn't hear her.

"what?" annabeth asked.

"nothing." maeve said, but it wasn't the truth. she'd tried her best to say it in the volcano, but she couldn't force the words out.

the thing was, 'i love you' was a tough phrase in her household. as a young kid, they said it multiple times each day; her mom made sure everyone knew how much she loved them. back then, her father did too. he was sweet. he was kind. he was loving.       when her mother died, maeve was pretty sure a part of her father did too. he stopped saying 'i love you', and only said it on very special occasions. now, maeve found it not just difficult, but practically impossible to say the words casually. she knew all of the kids her age said the words all of the time, but she just couldn't.

she wanted to, she wanted to so badly. she wished percy knew how much she cared about him, but the words died on her tongue.

fuck, she missed him. she missed her mom. she even missed her dad; not the man he is, but the man he was.

eventually, annabeth managed to get maeve moving. they used the spider to get back to hephaestus, filled him in on everything that had happened, and asked him if he knew what to do. he told maeve that the answer was in her past, refused to elaborate, and sent them a guide back to camp.

arriving at camp was a blur. maeve did whatever she was told, which included visiting the infirmary.

it seemed 'the five stages of grief' went backwards for maeve, because she skipped the first three stages and was already at depression.

the next three days were hell. maeve sat up in her bunk, only ever coming down once everyone else was asleep. she barely slept, wouldn't talk about it, and refused to eat or drink anything.

"hey," leah said cautiously on the third day. she climbed up the ladder, peaking her head into maeve's small space. "i'm sorry you've been feeling so down. i made you a smoothie."