Silence No More

26. With Friends Like These, Who Needs World-Ending Catastrophes?

"Crap, crap, crap!" Cursing under my breath, I rushed down the corridor towards the staircase. "We've got to get down there! We've got to intercept them! We—"

A granite hand closed around my wrist, stopping me in my tracks. "Mrs Ambrose. Stop."

Outraged, I whirled on him. "Don't you understand? Those are my friends out there, come to rescue us! With Patsy, that probably means kicking down the door, kicking the closest man in the bollocks, and dragging me and Adaira off to escape to Australia! We have to get to her before she finds Adaira!"

"I know. But not yet."

"Not yet? Then what the heck do you want us to do?!"

"Change your wardrobe." My dear husband narrowed his eyes ever so slightly. "Or do you wish to appear in front of your friends and family as your own brother who doesn't actually exist?"

"I—"

My voice died after just one syllable. Bloody hell! He was right. For some reason—

Cowardice?

Shut up, inner voice! For some reason that definitely wasn't cowardice, I had never gotten around to telling my friends and favourite sister about my proclivity for crossdressing. Only Amy, who, thanks to her profound professional experience, possessed the amazing skill to distinguish male from female, had found out my little secret.

My little sister Ella, on the other hand...

I swallowed.

And Patsy.

I swallowed thrice in quick succession.

"Um..." I cleared my throat. "Maybe you are right, Mr Ambrose, Sir. We should head back to my room so I can change into my female attire."

"Indeed."

"Besides, my clothes are a bit ruffled anyway. I should be more presentable when I greet my friends and family."

"Indeed, Mrs Ambrose."

"Well, what are we waiting for? Chop, chop, stop wasting time!"

"Pardon me? What did you just tell me, Mrs Ambrose?"

"Your favourite motto! Now get a move on!"

It seemed like an eternity till we reached my room. The two of us were about to enter when I suddenly froze.

"Oy! Why are you coming in here? You don't need to change your clothes, do you?"

"No. But I do have to watch my wife taking off hers."

Blood rushed to my cheeks.

"You darn scoundrel, you! Outside, now! If you want to be of any help, go find Karim!"

Mr Ambrose's little finger twitched. "I do not wish to watch Karim taking off his—"

"I should bloody well hope not! But do you want to be the one to come between Patsy's iron parasol and whatever poor sod she decides to unleash her wrath on?"

He considered this for a moment.

"Good point. Karim's services will be required. Till later."

And he was gone.

I didn't waste any more time, but instead rushed into my room and started tugging at my shirt. Never in my life had I been so eager to get my clothes off!

Well...there was that one time you were stuck on a sinking ship you couldn't leave unless you were in a dress. And there was your wedding night, when you were rather eager to not be dressed at all. And then there was the time you and Mr Ambrose were—