"If only you had granted me more time.."
Fourth book of the 'memories of a broken heart' series.
| Contains fluff and angst.
| English isn't my first language.
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✦❘༻༺❘✦
Ivy didn't know how to feel.
Jimin was full of audacity, that was for sure.
After all, how could he ask that of her knowing that she was married ?
Sure Ivy didn't love her husband, but it did not change the fact that he was her husband, whom she promised to stay loyal to before god.
What annoyed her wasn't the way Jimin kept taunting her boundaries, part of her would've loved for him to push them.
But no, it wasn't that.
What annoyed her was how butthurt the prince royal was over the fact that she was married to a man he pushed her towards.
Flashback
"The son of the Viscount Ferguson came to ask for my hand today."
Jimin raised his eyebrows, turning to Ivy.
He didn't expect her to say this, after all, they've never spoke of her suitors.
It was impromptu, unsual.
Still, he did his best to hide his surprise, though the curiosity was eating him inside.
He wanted to know how she felt about him, a man who seemingly was exactly what she described her perfect husband as.
"I heard he's a respectable man." He answered plainly.
She hummed positively in response, kicking her feet from the edge of the old harbor of a pond they were sitting on.
It was peaceful, like it always was whenever they met.
However, when she left the duchy that night, she could tell that peace wouldn't last, not with everything she was about to tell him.
Either he would officially court her, or this whole thing between them was over, she knew it.
In this whole country, there was no other gentlemen that came close to the future Viscount Ferguson, aside from of course, the unwed princes.
He had everything, the looks, the personality and the behavior.
If he courted her, majority of the people would be supportive of the country's jewel and the handsome soon-to-be Viscount's union.
"I haven't answered him yet." She added. "He is indeed a respectable, skilled, educated man and does not drink much unlike other gentlemen."
"And he is the future Viscount Ferguson."
She nodded quietly, not another word leaving her lips.
He didn't seem to care one bit.
That felt like a dagger through the heart.
"Father says he would make an excellent husband." She finally found the courage to say something else, trying to push him to say something, anything.
But he didn't, he stayed quiet for a long time, long enough for her to feel even more heartbroken.
Whatever that was, those night escapades, sweet words, love-filled looks meant nothing.
However, unbeknownst to her, the prince royal felt his heart ache, to the point where he felt like he would throw up all over the pond, his stomach twisted in a knot so tight, he wasn't sure it could ever be undone.
But he knew better than trying to keep the beautiful Ivy Hapsburg to himself, without marrying her.
And Ivy ?
She had hoped he would tell her to forget all about the Viscount's son.
She had hoped that the next morning, he would come to the duchy and ask for her hand to make up for the indifference he was showing to her news.
But God knows he didn't.
He didn't put down that mask of indifference nor did he show up at the duchy the next day, far from that.
In fact, two days later, he was sent off, far away from the country, in hopes that it would both tame him and groom him into becoming the perfect king.
They both could tell feelings were in the air, love all over each other's eyes whenever they looked at one another.
But it stayed unadressed, just like their wish of a life together.
"I think the Viscount Ferguson is a lovely choice for yourself, miss Hapsburg."
End of flashback
"Are you alright, dearest ? I was close to come fetch for you."
Ivy looked at her husband with a fake smile, trying to appear as relaxed as she could.
She was gone for a while, he was bound to worry.
She felt guilty.
Ivy was the Viscount's first choice, he truly loved her, but she wasn't able to return that to him.
The only reason why he showed up so late to the Hapsburg duchy to ask for her hand was purely because of nerves, but she never felt nervous around him, nor comfortable for that matter.
He wasn't afraid to express himself, which was rare for gentlemen at the time.
Covering her in affection, lavish gifts, giving her as much of himself as he could.
But she couldn't return that, the same way she couldn't give him a reason why.
She scanned the room for a few seconds, seeing that the prince royal was yet to return from the gardens, a knot forming in her stomach.
She had cried a lot when she learned that he left without saying goodbye, she had cried a lot after her wedding night, when she realized she wasn't married to the man she expected to be bound to under God.
And yet again, that night at this very instant, she wanted to cry for a reason she completely ignored.
Was it regrets ? The fact that he didn't chase after her ? Or the few thoughts of what could've been ?
She didn't want to think about it, but it wouldn't leave her mind at all though from the outside, she seemed way more composed than she actually was.
She turned to her husband, her smile looking a bit realer.
She hated doing that, but the best she could to was deceiving him, like she always did.
