𝐓𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐒𝐡𝐚𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐬

|38|NEW REALITY|

That was how it was going to be, my new reality written by me, everything would take the shape that I give it.

❦︎

~[JASON]~

For days I had been actively avoiding opening that piece of paper. Even the copy in my email I had added to my spam list.

The funny thing was I already knew what was in it. I just did not have the balls to look at it and digest it.

In previous terms, it was not like this. I used open my report sheet with a puffed chest, full of confidence and pride. Now, I already knew my place before even seeing it. Somehow, I just knew I would be below her.

And I could not even be upset with her anymore, I never had the right to to begin with. What I was feeling, it wasn't even anger, it was disappointment. Because instead of studying properly, I just let useless things occupy my mind.

But I was tired of running away from a piece of paper, so I broke the envelope's seal and slipped out the sheet. And right there, at the bottom right corner, I saw that I was in a place I had never been before.

2nd.

Jesus...

Blood of Jesus...

Now, I felt both disappointment and shame. I already felt so much humiliation and we had not even resumed. The image in my head, it was very clear, how everyone would gather in front of the notice board, the things they would say.

Lord...

For all I knew, it was more than possible that they would say even worse things than I was imagining. And I was not ready, I would never be ready.

Fear joined the mix of emotions, because my fingers were already shivering. I folded them into fists, closed my eyes to concentrate on my breathing.

In. Out. In. Out-

"Chibuike..."

Warm hands caressed my cheeks, and I wanted to melt into them. I opened my eyes and met the silver in hers, it glistened even more as she gave a gentle smile. Somehow, it was now easier to breathe, just a tad bit.

"It's okay." She whispered just before she kissed my forehead. "You're okay."

Carefully, she freed the sheet of paper out of my tight grip and abandoned it somewhere on the floor.

"It's Christmas in two days," she reminded me, her eyes communicating a plea. "So, new energy, please?"

I was not sure how that was supposed to happen, I was not even sure what that meant. But the light in her eyes, it felt like good news, felt like hope, it felt new.

So, I nodded, mustered a smile. "New energy."

°°°°°

~[VICTORIA]~

It was a calm evening, and from Dad's balcony, I observed our vast backyard: the gentle whoosh of the trees, dry leaves swirling on the ground, and my father chasing a butterfly.