letter thirty four

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dear lee heeseung,

you remember how i always told you that i hated family gatherings? and how i'd rather be alone at home than be there to face my relatives?

well, i changed my mind.

that's what death does to you, i guess.

i begged the doctors to let me leave and stay at home in my remaining days. i didn't want to die in a hospital, not after seeing two death happened in there before.

i think i deserved to live my last day in my room. with baby jay in my arms, if it would be allowed.

today my whole family came to visit me. yes, every single one of them. even my aunt lee ra and uncle bon. i can hear you gasping in shock for sure. they are the two who swore to never return in my house after baby jay vomited on them in the last family reunion last year.

it was a bit weird seeing everyone in the room crying their eyes out and each one of them approach me with lots of words to say.

some said their apologies. some said their appreciations. and most of them promised they would look after my baby.

and guess what? i didn't cry for the first time in months.

i guess i am now contented to learn how my baby would have a lot of people looking after him.

because in two more days, i will fail him at that part.

love,
park y/n

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