We Made It

8.

Pick up Harry.

Go to school.

Take Harry home.

Do homework.

Sleep.

Repeat.

That was my new routine. Harry had been trying. At least I think. I don't think we were 'dating' or even together but we were definitely not just friends. We would text. We would ride to school and home together. He'd stay for practice. But there's been nothing physical. No kissing. No hand holding. No arms around the waist. I'm not blind though...I see the way his hands twitch when we'd brush up against each other but he was hesitant. That's what hurt the most. The hesitating.

It had been 6 days. Jeremy had made it his mission to make the school aware of just how much of an asshole I was. I spoke with Eleanor...what good that did I don't know. She was still under the impression that because I let her stay around we had been dating. She hated that I turned her down at  Niall's party. Oh well. Since pur conversation in the locker room Nick has been pleasant which is odd but I'll take it.

It was Friday night. There was a footie game tonight. There was no practice today so Harry and I  left right after the last bell. I had 2 hours to go home and get ready before going to the stadium for tonight's game.

"Louis." I glance at Harry as we get in the car after school. "I'm..."

"Stop Harry." I whisper. "Unless you're all in or have something new to say...stop." That could have come out nicer.

We'd had conversations before and it all ended the same way. He was still confused about why I was so open with my feelings now. I kept asking why he was hot then cold...in then out...he never had a reason just that he was scared.

I reverse out of the parking lot and start the drive to his house.

"How can it be all or nothing? Feelings don't go away Lou."

"Exactly. Feelings don't. I had to grow up. I had to face them. Recognize them. Accept them. I jumped and it seems I jumped alone."

"What do you mean jumped?"

I sigh and stop at the red light. "Imagine a cliff metaphorically. We are standing at the top. It's safe we know the footing. At the bottom is everything unknown. We can either jump into the unknown or stay in the safety of what we know. I jumped Harry. I jumped head first off the cliff." I glance up at him as I park in front of his house. "It was impulsive and I see now how pushy and touchy I was. You aren't ready. So for now..." I run my finger down his cheek to his jaw and down his neck. "Now we will stay on the top until you're ready. As I've said before it will always be you but i won't force it."

He shivers as my finger runs down his neck.

"Lewis." He whispers. "I want to be ready. I like you. A lot. I'm just...scared."

I nod. My hand drops. "I know Harold. I know."

I lean my head against the seat and close my eyes. I feel lips against my cheek. I snap my eyes open and look his way as he opens and closes the door heading up to his house. He hasn't done that lately. I shrug and make the short drive to my house.

"LOUIS! LOUIS! OPEN IT!!!"

The twins run at me full speed before I even shut the door. My mum is behind them holding an envelope. I grab it from her and my bag hits the floor with a thud.

Royal College of Music.

I had applied over the summer. Liam had practically pushed me into it. I sent in a video of me playing the piano and some past videos of me just joking around playing random stuff. It was a long shot as they only accepted the best of the best. It was very hard to get in but if you wanted anything to do with music it was the best school. I was gasping for air. It didn't seem to be reaching my lungs. I meet my mums eyes as I open the envelope.