maya and andy - station 19 one shots

hold me?

It had been a tough call. Deaths were always hard but this one little girl had really made her way into the whole teams hearts, especially Andys. It had been her that went in to save the girl, but the roof had collapsed and she couldnt get to her in time, no matter how hard she tried. She felt guilty, she knew she shouldnt but she did. Calls with kids were always harder than anything, even worse when they don't make it out.

"Im gonna go shower" Andy said, dropping her stuff and hanging up her jacket at the door to her and Mayas apartment.
"Yeah. Me too" Maya nodded. Andy nodded back and started to leave to her bathroom, but Maya caught up and placed a gentle hand on her best friends back. "Hey. You okay?" She asked gently.
"Im...fine" Andy nodded firmly. She gave a tight lipped smile to Maya and then carried on her journey to her bathroom.

Maya sighed and went to her own room, wishing the other woman would just open up. It would help her to deal with the sadness a little better, especially with everything she had pent up after losing her father. Maya pressed her back to the bedroom door and went in to her bathroom for her shower. 

It was late, around 3am maybe when the door to Mayas bedroom was pushed open. Maya stirred as she felt a weight behind her as the bed dipped down to accommodate for a small brunette.
"Andy?" Maya asked, blinking her eyes open and turning over to face the girl.
"Im not fine" Andys voice broke as she admitted something finally. "And Im sorry I know its late, and you're trying to sleep and you definitely have your own stuff going on and you need to go to sleep and-"
"Andy! Stop. Its okay, youre okay" Maya said softly. Andy nodded, then the tears began to fall. "Heyy, come here, Ive got you" Maya opened her arms and her heart broke a little as her best friend fell into them, hot tears streaming down her face. Their legs tangled and Andy wrapped her arms around mayas waist.

"I love this job so much but it breaks my heart every time we dont save somebody. Especially a kid, that, that little girl had a whole life ahead of her, and now, nothing. And what, were supposed to just move on from that? Its fucked"
"It is fucked. But when things like this happen we just have to, remind ourselves of all the lives we have saved. All the people we did give a chance to. It's okay to get upset, Andy. Im always here if you need a chat. Or a cry. Or a cuddle. Anytime" Maya placed her hand on Andy's waist and gave a gentle kiss to her forehead. Her other hand began running up and down Andy's back, offering her some comfort.

"Thanks Maya. I just, I hate how I feel right now. I dont feel, usually, I just, suppress until something breaks, and I snap, and I breakdown. I don't wanna do that anymore, Maya, I want to...I want to feel, sometimes. I want to let it out so it doesn't get to this point" Andy cried harder.
"Shhh, I know. I know baby you're okay. Ive got you, Ive always got you" Maya pulled Andy closer and held her until her sobs turned to sniffles.

"Im so tired" Andy whispered against Mayas neck.
"I know, my love. Try and get some sleep, Im not going anywhere okay? If you wake up, wake me up" Maya said gently, kissing Andys head again and gently trailing her fingers up and down the girls back.
"Okay" Andy nodded against her. Andys breaths became deeper and more rhythmic, Maya had thought she had fallen asleep so she let her own eyes fall closed, her heat beat in time with the one of the girl in her arms.

"Maya?" Andy breathed, half asleep.
"Yeah?" Maya replied, her own voice laced with sleep.
"I love you, thank you for being my person" Andy said, snuggling in impossibly closer and pressing a gentle peck to the exposed skin on her best friend's neck.
"Always, my love. I love you too" She gently stroked Andy's back and pressed kisses to her hairline. "So much."