If you play with fire.. you get burned

Chapter 50

When Andy and Robert came home after their shift, they cuddled Lilli and then once they had eaten dinner they went to bed to relax a bit. Lilli had gone with them and she lay down next to Andy resting her muzzle on her belly. Robert had taken the diary they'd bought that morning so he and Andy could start writing how they felt.

Robert: "How should we start?" he asked opening the diary.

Andy: "We could start by writing that we are happy" Robert nodded. "And then we write down everything that comes to mind. It's not important that everything makes sense, just write how we feel"

Robert: "Okay. Do I start or do you start?"

Andy: "You start it" Robert nodded.

While Andy was cuddling Lilli, Robert started writing something in his diary. Andy wanted to read what Robert wrote right away, but before reading what Robert had written, he waited for him to finish writing. For Robert that was the first time that he wrote in a diary and above all it was the first time that he wrote how he felt. Once Robert finished writing he passed the diary to Andy so she could read what he had written and then she wrote how she felt. But Andy didn't immediately read her words and started writing what was going on in her mind because she thought it would be nicer to read each other's words together. Once Andy finished writing, she snuggled up to her husband so that together they would read what they had written.

"Right now I feel ridiculous having to write in a diary, and I am happy, I love my wife madly and also our soon to be born twins. I've never felt this way, it's all new and sometimes it scares me. From the moment Andy found out she was pregnant, I wondered if I was capable of being a good father and this fear increased when we found out we were having twins. I've never had to deal with newborn children because when my grandchildren were born, I wasn't present and I only saw them when they were already grown up. I don't know how to behave and this scares me. But I know that by my side is the best woman in this world and I know that she will be an extraordinary mother to our children. She too will have many fears, but I'm sure that by being together we will be able to overcome anything. Together we will overcome our fears and together we will try to be good parents to our children"

As Andy read what Robert had written, a few tears started rolling down her face and Robert tried to make her smile.

Robert: "Did I spell that badly?" he asked wiping away her wife's tears she laughed.

Andy: "Of course not" she replied smiling. "If I cry it's only because of pregnancy hormones"

Robert: "I know" he answered giving her a tender kiss on her forehead. "I just wanted to make you smile"

Andy: "And you did it" she replied looking him in her eyes. "I love you"

Robert: "I love you too" he replied kissing her.

It was then the turn of reading what Andy had written and as Robert read her words, he held her close to him.

"I don't think I've ever been so happy in my entire life. Up until a little over a year ago, I hated the idea of getting married and having kids, but then along came Robert. With him I discovered what it means to love and be loved and now we are married and we are waiting for our twins. I am terrified by the idea that in a few months there will be two little babies in this house, but if I then think that Robert will be next to me, this terror diminishes. I'm afraid of not being a good mother, I don't know how to behave and I'm afraid of failing. My biggest fear is that I might become like my mother who had to abandon me because she didn't get help when she needed it. When I think about this thing, then I think of Robert and then I can stay calmer because I know that he will always be there for me and our children"