loved for once.

I

Celia woke up in her bed, feeling morning tired as usual. The sun was shining in through her small window, with grape purple coloured curtains. Her stuff gave back an reflective shadow, casting over the whole room and the walls. Her desk was cleaned as usual and there was a small pile of drawings she had made.
Downstairs she could hear her parents, Dorothy and Simon, arguing. It wasn't that surprising, and definitely not the first time. She had no obvious idea of what it could be about this time, but she did not wanna get involved in it. She could get hurt badly in that way.
She rubbed her eyes to wake up slightly more, before pinching herself to be sure she is actually awake. It's a common habit Celia has, she doesn't really know why she does it, but she just does. Her clothes that she hung up to wear for the day was hanging on her wardrobe grip. It was a cute dress with flowers on it. The biggest color that it gave was a sage green color, a light forest feeling. It was a long sleeved even though it was still summer. The September winds will be warm like an oven, but it will be alright, hopefully.
She got up from her bed, feeling the silicon soft blanket getting off her. She shivered slightly of the warmth suddenly disappearing. Her arms weren't looking that good today, and it wasn't a good thing.
She couldn't resist yesterday. The panic she had felt while thinking of the new transmission to this school. The stress, her parents arguing. She didn't handle it last night. So she took her blade and let her stress out on her body, not the first time. It's like a cope for Celia. To cut herself makes her calmer. Of course, it hurts a lot after, and she always regrets it. But it calms her.

"Why do you always need to drink that much alcohol!" Celia's mother yelled, as she got a toast with some milk.
They continued to yell with each other as she silently watched while eating her breakfast. School start in half an hour, and her bus comes in ten minutes. She was stressed about it. New people, new classrooms, new teachers, new everything! It felt scary.
But she remembers how it was at her old school. The bullying, every harassment. Maybe this was the best choice for her own good?
Celia let out a sigh before finishing her toast. With new classmate she could get a lot new friends! Then life wouldn't feel so lonely as it is now. She had even got brand new shoes to fit in. It was a pair of brown sneakers, it looked like the dirt under a beautiful dahlia flower.
She smiled as she put them on. Her parents distant argue was slowly fading away and she tried to think of the good. No more bullying ever again. No more humiliation ever again. No more mean pranks on her ever again.
She opened the door to be met by a warm wind. It made her mood get even better and she closed to after herself, leaving all the bad talk between her mom and dad.
Her mom, her favourite person. It always felt unsafe leaving her alone with dad. But Celia knew she could trust her mom, she will be okay. She survived 20 years of a marriage with that man, she can survive a school day.

The school bells rang in Celia's ears and she looked around. The white walls were built tall over her and students were running in the halls. Along in the corridors many lockers were standing, with a velvet shade of color.
She looked at the paper with information about here that Dorothy had given her, and she went to her locker. It had the number 147 written on the top with a programmed metal pen. Next to her own locker, locker 146, a huge group of people were standing. They seemed to be her own age. She realised how outstanding she next to them.
Their beautiful blonde locks with modern summer clothes, jeans shorts with a white top. Their perfect makeup matching with their dark shimmering eyes. And then there's Celia, her own straight black hair with her hazel brown eyes, hanged down by her eye bags. Freckles colouring her face and her sage green dress, with long sleeves. She didn't look like the others next to her locker at all. She was completely different.

The bell rang again and the girl group split up for their classes. Celia's first class is English and she rushed there, passing by multiple classrooms on the way.
She opened the door along with a swarm of other students in the class. She got pushed around but kept her balance. It would have been embarrassing falling in front of everyone on her first day at the school. She noticed some students looking at her curiously and some weirdly. The uncomfortable feeling sneaked up her mind and she finally made her way to her own desk.
When all the students had sat down a tall woman in her 30s entered the classroom. She smelled like roses and Celia fell in love with the scent. It must be her new English teacher, she looked nice and smiled at every student, making her cheeks puff up.
"Good morning!" She said, and Celia prayed that her name wouldn't be brought up, "Today, we have a new student attending our English class. Her name is Celia and she comes from another school not far away. Please treat her nicely, and Celia, could you introduce yourself to everyone?"
It felt like the time stopped for Celia. Her legs started to shake and she could feel her fingers dancing on the table nervously. Anxiously, she stood up and looked around. The surrounding students looked at her with interest.
"Hello, my name is Celia and I am new here as you may know, in my free time I like to draw things and I hope I can get along with people here!" She said and looked around, fingering with her dress.
Some seemed to have listened only at the start, some just seemed bored at her. She swallowed and sat back down as the lesson begun.

The bells rang out and she saw her fellow classmates walk out for break. She still haven't talked with anyone yet and it made her nervous. What if she didn't get any new friends as she had hoped for?
That's when she bumped into the group of girls she had seen before. One of them, with a cute Chanel bag, dropped her lipgloss on the ground, breaking it. Celia panicked, all the girls now stared at her in disgust.
"What was that for?" One of them, with a long blonde ponytail, asked.
Celia tried to say something but the only things that came were stutters and apologises. The girls started to laugh at her face, it felt like before.
"Watch where you are going next time, and also, why the heck do you have long sleeves in September?" The Chanel bag girl asked, giving a weird glare at it.

The feeling of her own school experience started to enter her brain. The harassment, the laughing. She felt her whole body shaking, panicking. She couldn't cry in front of them, she can't, it can't end like this. It was like screams in her head. Screams to tell her to stay away. Stay away from it all.
Their laughs, their glaring luxurious eyes, their harassment. She felt herself pick on her dress again.
"Gonna cry now?"
"Stay away from our school, weirdo."
"You don't belong here."
"Go away!"
"Cry baby."
"Watch where you're going."
"Freak!"
She wanted to scream, all Celia wanted to do was scream. Scream her lungs out on everything. She felt wet tears in her eyes, more and more coming. Tears streaming down her face, sweet wet tears. She felt herself panic even more. She has to get away.
Without a word she turned around and ran. Ran to the nearest bathroom. She launched herself inside and jammed the door closed, before locking it and collapsing on the floor.
She cried. She cried and couldn't stop. Tears flooded the floor and she felt herself cough from sobbing. This can't be real. This can't be happening. First day at school and everything goes bad.
   She put her head against the wall, tears flooding down her eyes on the murmured floor. She wanted to smash it so badly, but it would be too noticeable. Maybe they just got mad? She bumped into one of them so she dropped her lipgloss, it's a bit understandable.
   Celia took a deep breath while letting her tears dry away. Her other lesson starts soon and it's history, she really doesn't wanna look like she already had cried.
   Suddenly there's voices outside the bathroom. She froze in place, it sounded like a small group of guys. Were they trying to open up the lock? It didn't seem like that.
   "Did you hear about Layla? Some new girl bumped into her and she dropped her lipgloss! The whole group is furious, man.." One of the guys said and the group blocked her way out.
   They must be talking about the incident and scene Celia just made. She held her breath to not be noticed as she stood there in the bathroom.
   "I heard the new girl is in my history class, I wonder how she looks like, imagine being already hated the day you come here, damn." Another boy said, his voice was sweet as sugar and Celia almost melted by it, she wondered how he looked like, and they were in the same class so she would find out later.
   The group left from outside and Celia finally took a breath. The girls really do hate her? It was an accident, it really wasn't meant to happen.

IT WASNT MEANT TO HAPPEN.