I use to judge those who got abortions, wonder why they would ever do it, but when I was put in the situation it made me realize you never fucking know what others are going through. I didn't wanna leave the bathroom, I wanted to stay there holding that piece of toilet paper but I know I wouldn't, I flushed it and went back to my room. I didn't sleep that night.
I stayed up sitting next to my sons crib holding his hand while he slept, while I cried and apologized over and over again that I was sorry for doing that, that I will give him a sibling one day, that I promise I wasn't a bad mommy, that, that baby was good enough just not for it's father.
People ask me why I did it, why I wouldn't just keep it, I was very mentally Ill, I had a very mentally abusive boyfriend, and I couldn't raise another baby on my own. Do I regret it? Of course I do, I relive that day in my head everyday, there was a long period of time where I couldn't look at newborn baby's, it would make me cry, make me feel guilty.
Them other mothers out there or even other women who had had to get abortions, I'm so very sorry, I know how hard it is, how heart breaking and devastating it is. You're strong, and you got through it, idyl you're currently going through it, I just gotta say it does get easier, but that pain will never go away unfortunately. Surround yourself with those who make you happy and laugh, but also take time for yourself, make sure your mental health is good, it's okay to cry it out, it's okay to scream, throw things, break things. It's okay I promise it may not feel okay, it may not ever feel okay. That's normal, but you're a strong ass women and you got this.
YOU ARE READING
My Story
Mystery / Thriller*WARNING TALKS ABOUT SUICIDE AND OTHER TRIGGERING THINGS, DO NOT READ IF YOU'RE EASILY TRIGGERED OR EMOTIONAL* This story includes me talking a little about my Trauma, and some of the things I've gone through since I was a kid. There will be some de...
