Chapter One

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A/N: This idea has been in my head for so so long I NEEDED to get it out.
The first few chapters are kind of long but I hope you stick with it & enjoy.

TW: Language, Smoking, Drinking, Sexual Themes      

It was two thirty on a Saturday afternoon when Josephine found herself on the front porch of a narrow bungalow buried in the hills of Los Angeles. This was her new home, or supposedly it was, but she didn't even own a key yet.

Despite moving everything weeks ago with Frankie, she felt very removed from this plot of land. She had only been here twice and both times it felt as if she had been picked up by some omnipotent computer mouse and plopped there without any room for self-will. She took a deep breath and somehow managed a confident knock on the door. Several seconds passed. Despite the porch overhang blocking her from the harsh rays of the sun she could start to feel the heat of it. She blamed the beginnings of sweat on that and not her nerves. As she was about to knock again, the door opened.

"Oh, hi." A charming smile followed by nervous laughter. "Sorry. Wasn't expecting you until later." He apologized for his current state: fresh out the shower, clad in a pair of tight jeans, towel in hand poised and ready to soak up the droplets that were currently finding their way down his broad shoulders.

"Josephine, right?" He asked. Without an answer he continued, "I'm Pedro. Frankie's roommate, well I guess your roommate too now, huh?" His chuckle held a slight sense of unease to it.

This was new territory for him. He was surprised to say the least. He was now running very late for his date and with their mutual connection at work things were bound to be slightly uncomfortable.

"Well come in, come in. Frankie's not here right now, and I have to finish getting ready but you know...make yourself at home." He said before quickly retreating back into the house.

As Josephine entered each step felt less and less like her own decision. Sinking into a space where time slowed and the air was heavy. As if she was violating some kind of rule. The dread, the anticipation of getting caught weighed on her shoulders. How would she ever feel at home here? She felt more like an invader, a parasite, a burden. She walked down the hallway to where her room was. Or perhaps it was just the room with all of her things, she wasn't sure how much of it was hers yet and how much belonged to the past.

"I've got to get going but Frankie should be home within the next few hours." She heard him call from somewhere else in the house before the front door opened and closed quickly.

A car engine started and then faded into the distance. A stillness settled over her, and the silence was deafening. It was one of those moments where she didn't feel real. Nothing about this whole situation felt real.

Remembering the advice her therapist gave her, she sat on the bed and pinched the thin, quilted comforter between her thumb and forefinger. It used to be incredibly soft but countless spins in the dryer created a layer of pill. She absentmindedly pulled at the small lumps of fabric while counting the colors on the quilt. Twenty-seven blue shapes, fourteen green shapes, twenty-seven yellow shapes and fourteen red shapes. Then her eyes drifted towards the rest of the room where she began counting other colors. This went on for a while.

"Ok." She said to herself and took a deep breath. "You're here. You're safe. You're alone in an unfamiliar place but that's ok." A smile slowly spread across her cheeks. Suddenly she was up, digging through her milk crate box of records and pulling out Speaking In Tongues. Once it was on the turntable she disrespected the cardinal rule of vinyl and placed the needle on the last song.

Josephine closed her eyes and focused on letting go of the tension she carried. Moving her body without judgment and singing along with conviction. Laughter bubbled up from inside her and she was warm for the first time in a long time. Maybe it was fleeting, maybe it would dissipate the minute she had to share the space again. Her stomach turned at the thought of Pedro coming back before Frankie, but she shook her head and tossed it to the back of her mind. Right now, she was grateful for a new beginning.

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