Next to Me (Triplets book 3)

Chapter 15

It was late, and Sawyer couldn't sleep. Instead, he stood looking out the living room picture window at the mood glinting off the water. The peaceful site was at odds with the way he felt. He never dreamed that he and Elyse would make such a mess of it. On the ship, they had fitted each other perfectly, and at home, in her little cottage, they were in perfect sync, but in the real world, they fell apart. 

Sawyer understood most of it was his fault, but he had never had a relationship with someone who wasn't already a part of his world, and there were rules. He didn't know how to teach them to Elyse or how to operate without them. His parents had taught him the limitations of being famous since he was born, and he didn't know anything else.

If only he could get her to understand that privacy in his world was paramount. The day Elyse's sister had turned up, it had made him nervous to share his presence. He knew that he had been taking a risk, but he also wanted to push himself into Elyse's life so she wouldn't be able to get rid of him easily.

Thankfully, her sister had kept her word and not told a soul. However, Elyse had mentioned that her sister had told everyone that Elyse was seeing someone. Sawyer got why she had told everyone. It was sibling defense at its finest.  Bethany wanted Gary to know that Elyse had moved on.

Sawyer heard footsteps on the stairs and turned to see Sullivan.

"Is everything all right?" Sullivan asked as he joined Sawyer at the window.

"No," Sawyer shook his head. "It's all falling apart, and I don't know how to stop it. I don't know how to be normal."

Sullivan snorted. "You couldn't be normal if you tried, but I think I know what you're saying. Is it you or is it her?"

"I have no clue. In private, it works, and in public, it falls apart."  Sawyer rubbed his stubble-roughened face. "She's more than I ever thought she could be. I am always discovering different facets of her. When I think I know her, bam, she throws me for a loop. She never does the expected, and thank god she always forgives my screwups."

"So, where's the problem?" Sullivan and Sawyer were speaking in hushed tones.

"Our lifestyle is the problem. I want to introduce her to our world without scaring her, but instead, I'm only insulting her. I want to do something as simple as go to church with her, but it's impossible." Sawyer shook his head. He had thought about it from every angle, and to attend a service with her would be an impossible distraction.

"You mean for reasons other than getting struck by lightning," Sullivan joked.

"Ha ha!" Sawyer's lip twitched.

"Then there's the unspoken problem of living such very different lives from each other. She lives in Florida, and I live in New York. Who's going to give up their life?" It all seemed so impossible.

"But you love her?"

"I adore everything about her." Sawyer cleared his throat.

"Have you told her that? It might make things easier." Sullivan suggested.

"Or it will make them harder, which I think you know a little about."  Sawyer looked at his brother, who was staring out at the water. "You and Phee are crazy about each other. Don't you think it's time you fixed that situation?"

"You first, brother," Sullivan softly said, then turned to look at Sawyer. "She's upstairs, probably waiting on you. If you won't tell her how you feel, you can at least show her."

"And that's something you won't or can't do with Phee?" Sawyer asked.

"Take your pick." Sullivan turned and placed his hand on Sawyer's shoulder. "Maybe we'll both get lucky and get our happily ever after in the end."

"And Shayne, too," Sawyer added.

Sullivan smiled half-heartedly and left.

*******

Elyse sat on the rug in front of the fireplace, which was crackling with warmth and felt sorry for Phee. They had placed her in the coldest room in the house, and Sullivan was treating her just as badly as Sawyer was treating Elyse.

What was it with the Richards men? Did they think that women were incapable of being part of the decision process? Elyse snorted. She'd like to see Sawyer fly a helicopter into a storm. Shoot, she'd like to see him on a helicopter in a storm, never mind flying it.  Elyse was deep in a daydream where Sawyer was hanging on for dear life and turning green, and he was just about to hurl when there was a soft knock on her door.

Elyse knew who it was and would welcome him as she always did. When she opened the door, she had an amused smile on her face.

"Does that smile mean you're no longer mad at me?" Sawyer asked as Elyse closed the door behind him.

"No, it means I was having a delightful daydream where you were on a helicopter in a storm about to hurl all over everyone and embarrass yourself."

"Ouch, if it's that bad in your imagination, I'd hate to see what you would do in real life if you were honestly mad at me." He watched her as she sat back on the carpet and tucked her knees under her chin.

"Oh, I'm honestly mad at you, but I still like you. The problem would be if I didn't like you." Elyse tilted her head and laid her cheek on her knee, looking up at him. He was still wearing his dress shirt and slacks, and his chin was covered in stubble.

"I'm surprised you're not sleeping," Sawyer said as he sat on the carpet beside her.

"No, I was waiting for you," Elyse watched him as he let his gaze wander over her face. She closed her eyes at his touch when he reached out and tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear.

"You're so beautiful, and I'm screwing this up, aren't I?" His fingers trailed down her cheek.

"I think we're both screwing it up." Elyse's voice was barely a whisper.

"Tell me again why I'm here, and I'll do my best to learn what you want me to learn."

"I want you to see what my life is like. To know the potential pitfalls that come with...liking me." Sawyer's eyes wandered down to Elyse's lips.

"Does Phee know all these pitfalls?" Elyse was curious about Phee and what drew a man like Sullivan to her.

"Yes, very well. She has done damage control for our family for years now. She understands how the most innocent remark or photo can be interpreted as something it was never meant to be." Sawyer moved into Elyse's space, pushing her back onto the floor without touching her.

Words weren't needed. She knew what he wanted as he lay down next to her, holding his head with one hand and looking down at her.

"So then, why can't she and Sullivan work it out?"

"Because Phee is important to all of us, and Sullivan has some misguided notion that if it fails between them, we will all lose her, and he doesn't want that to happen." Sawyer placed his hand on her chest, above her breast, and felt her heart, then took her hand and put it on his chest.

"What he doesn't understand is that it will always work out between them because they love each other unconditionally. I've seen it. It's the same for my parents."

"What about us," Elyse licked her lips. "Will it always work out for us?"

"I think we both want it to," he said before he captured her lips with his.

It wasn't the words of love she wanted to hear, but it was enough to keep Elyse's hope alive.

She would do as he asked and watch and learn. Then she would have to share with him why she had broken up with Gary and let him know that her career was one of the most important things in her life. The ultimate question might be if it flying was more important to her than Sawyer. The day might come when she had to make that choice, and she dreaded it.

Elyse knew he was worried that what she learned would scare her away, but she had the same fear. Swayer was honest when he said they both wanted it to last, but to say anything more at this point was impossible. There were still too many unknowns that they had to work through.