Oneshots

the kids

these kids have no concept of time.

why would they?  time is useless.  time is obsolete.  time is a misconception they tell me whenever i stop to check my watch don't waste your time with such silly intangible things when you've got the whole world in front of your face.  stop trying to plan out when you die.  we're all taught to live our lives trying to die but why not await our deaths while trying to live.  there's no point in anything else.

i watch as they skate down the sidewalk.  they pay no attention to the cracks in the sidewalk jump over them ride over them fall down trip over them it doesn't matter.  they pick themselves back up and shoot me a smile with bloody teeth.  it don't matter she says if i've got one tooth or a thousand i've still got a mouth and a hell of a lot of words to fill it with.

true i say and follow them.

they ride until they reach the end of the world.  there's a thousand other people out there with a thousand other lives probably staring back at us but all we see is the same grey ocean as far as the eye cares to see and they don't pay no mind to all of those lives out somewhere across the pacific.  can't be bothered he tells me and i listen to his words and try to decide whether they're apathy or hopelessness but i decide it's neither.  it's hope he tells me it's hope that i'll find something here worth living for.

she runs into the water with all her clothes on.  can't be bothered he repeats and they all follow after crashing into the foamy surf like they were born to swim free across the vast expanse of liquid life.  i watch them splash and dive under the waves.  it's a lot safer out there than you can ever imagine.  nowhere else can you float like god's big hand is holding on to you won't let you go won't let you drift away into the nothingness that is human existence.

can you see god out there i yell out to them but they can't hear me.  they splash and laugh until their lips turn blue the blood on their faces washed away by the sand and salt and grit of life come running back to the beach but they don't drag me in with them no matter how silently i wish they would.  i cannot be like them.  i cannot find god in the ocean i cannot find truth in the clear sidewalks i cannot find solace in the three am walks through the empty streets.

these are the children of god in their purest form.
have you ever drank champagne out of the bottle she asks me.

no i tell her and she laughs.

there's nothing more classy than desperation but when she pops the cork and it goes flying into the sand tilts the lips of glass to her ever-thirsty lips there's no desperation only wonder.  it drips down her chin instead of her throat and she's smiling like she can taste the bubbly kiss.  lights up a cigarette and passes the bottle on to the next sea-shining face.  there's no greed in their world.  drugs done right kill all the selfishness in a man and i think it's the closest to truth i'll ever observe.

tell us a story they ask you're always watching tell us about something beautiful you've seen.  there's gotta be a point to standing around watching and if you haven't gotten anything from that yet then you'd best break that pen and come running alongside with us because if you haven't found it yet then you're never gonna find it now.  there's no point. 

i'll tell you what beauty is when i find it i say but no promises it looks anything like yours.  beauty is all relative you see.  i find beauty in the cracks in the sidewalk and the empty spaces that hands cannot fill up no matter how hard they press together.  but only if you can tell me what it is too because the more i watch the most beautiful things in the world the more i am confused by what we think is worth looking at. 

don't look at the sky he says look at the ground look at what's below your feet because that's what keeps you upright.  you'll fall right up into the sky if you look long enough but there's nothing about the ground that'll pull you down.

tell me this i ask him how is it that someone who spends so much time on the ground looks like they belong in the sky.  tell me how you can float and fly while still keeping two feet planted in the dirt.

simple he says.  we believe in the impossible and disregard the possibilities they all shove down our throats from day one.  humans didn't get thousands of years in the future by following the rules they screamed they shouted they dared to dream.  they created religion and then threw that old manuscript in the dust ground it up made cement for the building blocks of the skyscrapers to imagination and then they tore those buildings down to make room for trees and parks and the outdoor world.  we don't have anything if we don't regard and disregard our roots.

you are a beautiful contradiction i tell him.
thank you he says and shatters the bottle on the sand.

they're moving again and i follow them through the narrow painted streets thousands of eyes look and look but they're never focused too hard on anything what would be the point?  we're gone before they can see.

looking up at the golden sky they wrap their arms around each other and pull each other down.  sit he says and i do.

from down here the world looks so much bigger he says sitting on the ground is the only way to be a child again. 

i never would have figured i say and he laughs.  what else would he do.  all they do is laugh and smile and break their teeth trying to chew up all the mean words in the world.  i'll never be able to create something as beautiful as them in words so why be bothered.

after all, beauty is right in front of me.  all i have to do is watch the kids who sit on the ground and refuse to let themselves float off into the sky.