Oneshots

Unexplainable Desires

“How many weeks have you been off the pill now?” a distorted voice comes in over the speakers.

I check the rows of X's lining my cell's wall. I call back, “Sixteen.”

“Alright.” There's a buzz of the gate unlocking, and then it swings open with a click. “Let's go for a walk.”

Jaz leads me down the narrow hallway, our footsteps the only noise echoing off the walls. He seldom speaks, only when its absolutely necessary, and always very formal and mature when he does. I'm used to the silence, spending sixteen whole weeks in a room alone while I detoxed. Visits were very infrequent.

He makes a right, and holding the door open for me, takes us to an outside courtyard. Stale smoke hangs in the air, trailing off the cigarettes from a group of first weeks huddled around the middle table. I can tell they're still new off the streets, fingers twitching in the cold and eyes flickering back and forth as we approach. Jaz's path heads straight for them, and they all scatter when his closeness becomes uncomfortable.

“Sit,” he tells me and I do, placing my butt on the freezing metal seat. He slowly lowers himself across the table from me, and taking out a folder of official looking papers, begins to speak.

“Do you have any idea why I brought you out here?” He shuffles through the pieces of paper, eyes preoccupied with the task in front of him.

“I take it it's not for exercise.”

He doesn't even look up. Sometimes I wonder how he keeps himself so composed, so emotionless. It's almost like he's a robot, inhuman. But I know better than anyone that he's more human than the majority of the population. “I've brought you out here because you have completed your detox period.”

His words are like a foreign language in my brain. I stare at him with a blank expression.

Jaz looks up at me, finally, his blue eyes latching onto my own. I feel my stomach erupt into this tingly feeling, warm and filling my body with butterflies. I've been getting it ever since I stopped taking the pill. I don't understand what it is, but Jaz's gaze is the only thing that triggers it.

“It means your body is fully free of the drug and you are scheduled for release. You will be allowed to stop living in that cell.”

I breathe a sigh of relief. I'll be free to go back out into the real world. Maybe even return to school. Some kids choose to begin re-living their old life again, minus the daily ritual of swallowing the little white pill every morning.

“But, before we can do that, there's a few things I've got to talk to you about.” He looks back down, but the feeling doesn't go away. “Like I said before, the drug is designed to eliminate all natural hormones found in the human body. This means that your urges to reproduce are completely obliterated.”

I nod. I knew that; Jaz had told me that from the start. “Okay.”

“Because of the recent shift, and the lack of chemicals in your body, you will be experiencing a new sort of sensation. It varies from person to person,” he continues. Sometimes I just wish Jaz would talk like the rest of us, so I could actually understand half the things that come out of his mouth. But the mystery of his words is sort of exciting in a way. So I'm not sure.

“Have you been feeling any strange feelings or urges towards other humans?  Females, I mean,” he asks.

“No....” I trail off.

He raises his eyebrow in question.

“I mean, no. I haven't felt anything different about girls,” I answer, this time more sure of my words.