Honest

Chapter Thirty

Cassidy Benton

     I've known Keegan my entire life. The guy may look like a man, but never once in my life have I considered him one. It sounds like a disrespectful way of thinking, however, I think it because he's never had many of the experiences an adult is meant to have.

Flings and mistakes to learn from; relationships than destroy you and teach you not to let yourself get walked over; to stand your ground; to raise your standards because at the end of the day, when you deem somebody your mate, you need to be certain they will treat you right for the rest of your life. These are all things Jeremiah and I have had, and it's helped us to grow together until eventually we found feelings for one another.

Maybe we don't have a huge history besides each other, but we still learned a lot from the short relationships we had with other people before giving in to a lifelong crush on one another.

Keegan, though? I don't think he even has movies to go off of. He's winging it and the only thing keeping him in his current relationship is his other half. Isaac has more than enough experience for the both of them, and as a bonus, he's patient. Patient, understanding, logical. The perfect man, really - and even more perfect for someone like Keegan. But that doesn't mean it can't go to shit.

Nia and I tried incredibly hard to find a way to protect their privacy from the rest of the pack. Makeup could have worked, but covering up that many very dark hickeys would have taken too long, and neither of us share his skin colour exactly. Nia doesn't even have foundation or concealer in her entire home. So we ran into a brick wall of uncertainty.

And eventually, it became clear that Keegan had a choice: take the leap of a lifetime and come out, or risk hurting Isaac by lying.

Given how reasonable Isaac is, there's every chance that he won't even think twice about the rumours of Keegan and some girl, because he knows better than the rest of us that boy is wrapped around his finger. But it's the constant gossip he'd hear about it; the constant question of if he knew anything; constant reminders that as far as the pack goes, Keegan isn't his. I've known Isaac long enough to know he hides his insecurities well, but they're there.

Just the other day, he came to visit me with Jeremiah at the Hospital, and while my lovely mate was busy kissing my sister's ass, he pulled me aside. I asked him the question that had been bothering Keegan for a long time.

"Why do you refuse to take that next step with him?"

Isaac shuffled uncomfortably and dropped his confident, fearless facade. "I'm not ready." I frowned, prepared to question what he meant, but he beat me to it. "You know me, Cass. Everyone else before him... they all meant nothing. I knew I'd probably never see them again. But him? I have to do it right. I have to make it intimate and actually mean something."

"And... you're scared the emotions involved will make things harder for you?"

"They will," he insisted. "There's so much more pressure."

"Don't you think it's scarier for him?" I challenged. "I don't know much about what you're like in bed - thank the heavens - or much about the other side of the spectrum at all, but regardless of all that, he's never been with anyone before."

Isaac's eyes widened. "I know, and that only adds to the pressure."

"How? He won't know if you're great or terrible," I teased, trying to ease his mood. He glared at me, ruffling my hair and backing up a step to avoid my responding slap.

"It's just a personal thing. That's all. I'm going to stop telling him the reason is his own readiness some day, I just need the courage for it."

I left it at that. It wasn't and still isn't my business what goes on behind closed doors. Keegan can handle himself and so can Isaac. But I got to hear that day about what goes on in his head, and it only proves to me further that perhaps he won't be able to handle all those rumours.