7 Days of Madness

My fridge is Empty and so is My Mind

Aydyn and I share a living room, a kitchen and an upstairs lounge area on the big balcony. He's the amazing Michelin star cook for Americans and picky children, I'm the 5-star couch potato and stargazer. I often lie down on a carpet out on the lounge to stare at the night sky and count stars to take note of ones that flicker before they die out and explode. With my supernatural and otherworldly sight, I can see things far away. Very, very far away.

I could shoot a doe that's football fields across, if the bullet can even catch up and travel at the distance my eyesight stretches long for. So it's nice to see a black hole just chilling, a star dying, other solar systems moving around and even the birth of some stars far into the vast blackness of space.

Being alone for a week means the stargazer and professional 'lazer' will have to make his own superficial meals. The meals Aydyn made in our adorable cottage core kitchen were mostly instant mac n' cheese, ramen, omelettes and strangely, french toast with oreo bits in the batter. Don't judge him, try it out, it's actually nice.

I make my way to the kitchen and pull open the fridge, to be met with just arctic in a big metal box. When was the last time Aydyn went out for groceries?

I understand why he would not though, he's a bit intimidated yet revolted by the presence of other people whom he's not close with (again, social anxiety). I sigh and slam the fridge door closed.

It was up to me to buy groceries now. Upon realising that, I sighed again and went back up to my room, picking out what to wear for my trip to the closest Deli market—20 minutes away, near my old home—and eventually deciding on a baby blue basic t-shirt of which the colour in it has dulled over the years. To go along with my top, I chose some simple polyester black trousers and got into some yellow crocs. And of course, I made sure to wear mismatching socks. They aren't even the same length.

I grabbed my wallet and phone, only to realise- my brother TOOK MY TRUCK!!!

FUCK!!!

I was a foot out from my bedroom when I realised, my eyes closed and I bit my lip in frustration as I balled up my fists and quivered. I let out an angry exhale, then a yell followed after.

Oh. I'm losing my marbles.

Eventually I got over it, I sat down for 5 minutes and came up with a solution. Contemplation and reflection works sometimes, but they're futile for undisciplined fruitcakes that think entirely on emotion. I fished out a tote bag that was given to my entire graduating cohort three years ago, with the custom words printed on it: MARLBORO DUKES ALUMNI!

Very creative, with splatters of random colours spreading out.

I decided I am just going to walk, over taking my brother's car. I mean, it's better for me anyways. I have been doing gym at home, workouts in my bedroom, but I haven't signed up for any membership near me. There's one gymnasium that's only 10 minutes away from my house. I can't be bothered—yet. So yes, walking will be good for me. Good for me to reflect, good for me to breathe and get some sun while I'm at it.

I rarely leave the house and when I do it's mostly for work. I guess I'm still stuck in my shell after all.

Reaching the Deli market I realised I came quite unprepared. Yes I said I would get food to stock the fridge, no I did not decide what kind of food I'd be making or buying. If I'm to be creating any lavish dish at all.

It's the regular, once again then.

I grab a couple boxes of mac n' cheese, shells and velveeta, then grab some bacon packs from the frozen aisle. I then stuffed my cart with jumbo bags of chips, a 6 case of beer and one packet of sweets from the tidbits aisle. My brother's taste has grown on me. I don't even know what prompted me to grab the case of beer. I drink, yes, but not as much as my brother. Someone has to keep sober to make sure the other one doesn't do something incredibly stupid.

Oh but it's only me at home now. I've got no one to look after, it's a clear path to getting wasted.

I pay for my items at self checkout, put all my items in my tote bag, then leave the store.

On my way back home on foot I started thinking about my brother. He's like the only thing that's significant to me these days. I don't bother enough in finding a lady or a man to be with.

   It's no surprise when identical twins tend to be close but there's a line to be drawn when they want to spend the rest of their lives not wanting to be separated. It may depend on the person's perspective but ultimately, it's a bit creepy when twins just disregard any other form of life for their other half.

I'm on that ladder. Almost.

I can make friends and talk to my current ones, but why? What purpose do they ultimately serve? Companionship? Yes, perhaps. But I already have Aydyn.

Damn. As my feet dragged slowly across the pavement, I took out a Mars bar from my bag and ate half of it in just one bite. I stole it, by the way. It's easy to evade alarms and cameras when you're not native to Earth originally. Oh Hell, I miss my brother already.