~Undeniable Feelings~

~Drink & regret~ (pinch of smut)

Mully's POV:
I woke up and uncovered myself with the blanket, sitting up I looked at the window in the room, a bright light shined in from the curtains. Getting out of bed, not bothering the change, I left the room and headed downstairs. I didn't see Josh anywhere, he must be asleep still. I entered the kitchen and made myself toast, just something to hold me over until Josh got up. I honestly preferred Josh's cooking over other's or just normal food that doesn't need to be cooked. I sat down on a stool and got lost in my thoughts. I don't understand how I'd come out to the boys, or if they'd even look at me the same way if I told them I was bisexual.. Josh is a cute male yeah, but I have no chance, plus he's straight anyway.. God, I hope I don't do something stupid if we go out drinking.. Snapped out of thought immediately from a small yawn. I saw Josh entering the kitchen. " Morning." Josh looked at me, he seemed tired. " Morning.. What do you want to eat?" Josh was looking in the fridge. My eyes looked at his ass, I blushed and looked away fast, what is wrong with me?! "Anything you make is good, so I don't care." Josh hummed, "Eggs it is then." Josh pulled out a pan & a carton of eggs, started up the stove and began cooking. I watched Josh cook the whole time, smiling gently. "Here." Josh placed a plate down with scrambled eggs on it in front of me with a fork. "Thanks." I said while chewing, it tasted amazing like it always does when he cooks. When I finished I offered to do the dishes since he cleaned up last night's mess, "sure, I was going to tell you too anyway." I rolled my eyes, cleaned up our plates and put them in the dish washer with some other dishes and started it. Josh was on his phone when I turned around. "There's this place not far that just opened up, it's a bar, you wanna go?" Josh looked at me from his phone, "Sure why not."
~Time skip~
Me and Josh had a few drinks already. I had about 7 shots while Josh had around 5. The place was called Drince, confused me at first but when I went inside I realized why. They had a dance floor here. Drince probably is a mix of drink and dance. I ordered another few shots and so did Josh, quickly finishing them to look at Josh. "What?" Josh looked at me confused, "Nothing, just staring." Josh rolled his eyes at my reply, "dumb cunt." He finished his last shot and set the glass down. "Wanna go dance?" I asked, looking at the empty dance floor, "No way, I dont want people looking, we're already famous." Josh had a point, with his break up going viral, him & I being single could make people ship us even more if they saw us dancing together, unwanted questions would come too. The music switched to a song I knew, one of my favorites too. "I love this song.." I spoke to myself in a low voice. I didn't want to be heard anyway. "You like this song?" Josh asked, taking another shot. I looked at him, "How in hell did you even hear me over the fucking music?" Josh laughed, "I dont know, it's quiet over here, you never answered me." I order more shots for myself, "Yeah, I do." Josh was still laughing, " I think thats enough drinking for me, I don't really wanna get drunk tonight, I think we record tomorrow anyway." I looked at him, "Seriously? Alright, I'm gonna keep drinking." Josh nodded and took out his phone, probably going threw something, while I kept ordering more shots.
~Another time skip~
I've had the same amount of shots as the alcohol in a bottle at this point. My vision was a bit hazy. "Let's head home." Josh got up and pulled me out the building door with him. Of course Josh was driving. Josh unlocked the car and we both got in. Arriving at his place, we went inside. It was quite late, meaning we were out for a few hours at max. Josh was in the kitchen making a glass of water. I walked behind him and grabbed him. "Mully?" Josh shut the sink off and I turned him around, not thinking about what I was doing, I kissed him. I picked up Josh after I disconnected our lips, setting him on the counter just to continue kissing him. Mul-" I cut Josh off with another kiss, slightly raising his shirt with one hand and using the other to gently rub in-between his legs at a slow speed. I moved from Josh's lips to his neck, kissing it once gently, and softly biting in random spots. "Mully!" I stopped what I was doing, listening for him to say something else. "Mully stop.. I don't want to do this you fucking cunt. Yourself drunk and smell like alcohol, get off me." Josh pushed me away and got off the counter. I felt shitty for what I just did, "Josh, I'm sorry-" Josh walked off, "Save it, drink some water and go to bed.." I didn't argue, grabbing a glass from the cabinet, I filled it with water. I drank and left the empty glass on the counter near the sink. I headed upstairs to the room I stayed in. I collapsed on the bed, curling up slightly I threw the blanket over my body and laid there, thinking about what I did. Fucking dumbass! what were you thinking! You weren't thinking at all! I shouldn't of done that to him.. God, I hope Josh forgives me.. I feel like shit.. I closed my eyes, trying to forget what happened in the kitchen, the one thing I didn't want happening, happened. I toss and turned, throwing the blanket off of me and pulling it back on me, unable to sleep at all with my mind set on what I've done and how Josh will be in the morning. Finally, after trying for the millionth time, I passed out.