A Child Who Needs Help

Friend

Sometimes I think that I was born to be alone in this world without any friends by my side. I just need a friend to light up my dark days, but god not allow me to linger in friendship. It doesn't last long and always ends tragically with the arrival of new friends and various betrayals.

Every night I talk to myself kinda not feeling alone. Asking my mind to think that myself is the best friend in this life. Acting strong and cheerful and acting like I have many friends every day, who would have thought that my actions would actually make my family call me a crazy child.

"This is about a child who's always lonely and always prays to find a friend. Doesn't matter if it's human or not, cause all she or he wants is only a friend to play with and talk to."

I tried every way to be able to have friends. Even just getting a friend is not a problem! Because what I need is an umbrella to shelter me when it rains and it's hot. I'm tired because the ending of the story is always the same

"Shouldn't you promise me to stay with me?"

And you know what they tell me when I try to keep them by my side for a little longer?

"People come to go, but they don't go for back. Trust me you will find a better friend than me!"

I believed those 2 sentences for quite a long time.
But now I realized, that out of the two sentences they said to me, Only the first sentence was real.The second sentence has never come true in the 15 years I've lived in this world.

Thinking that all of this is just a coincidence makes no sense every time I get a new friend has face, voice, body, look, character, demeanor, laugh, smile very similar to the first friend I've ever had.

"Enough I'm tired of all off this! Everyone left me... What did I do wrong?"

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Forcing my body to survive in a dark and cold cave for several years. Hoping not to freeze to death because of loneliness.

Going out of the house to entertain myself but what I get is jealousy of my solitude without friend. Seeing other teenagers laughing, running, playing, joking, having fun with their friends. Looking within myself at the reflection of the glass of a big building, said to myself like...

"Look at this stupid child, so fragile and lonely. Poor child you must be very cold without the sun in your life"

Every night I struggle hard to calm my heart that keeps shivering because of loneliness. Tried everything to calm it to the point of having trouble sleeping.

Keep thinking and remembering the mistakes I made to my former friends who betrayed me. Hoping can return to the past. Stop those who try to leave me.

"Drug! I need that medicine, headache medicine, flu, cough, I have to take it all! I want to sleep please. Give me that medicine!."

Half tablets, 1 tablet, 2 tablets, 3 tablets In 1 time without pause.

Pain in one part of the head that is so large alternately Followed by ringing in the ears that really tortured me. Without support, enthusiasm, help and assistance from anyone. Here I bear everything alone.

"My family? What do they care, how can they think of a stupid child like me hahahaa!"

Even when I was seriously ill, none of them glanced at me. They ignored me and were just about to buy me medicine right when I was dying and had started hallucinating of eternal and everlasting life.

"Just a friend that I need. A friend who will always be by my side whether it's hot or rainy and a friend who will always be willing to help me"

Always hope that my wish will come true in the future. Imagining the day when my relief is truly granted.

In my imagination we played together, ran, sang, laughed, broke and fell together. There is no day without the figure of my dream friend, together for every time without leaving each other until death do us part.

Link video (:

https://youtu.be/OGXpWSKalNA