It's Just Hard.

The Truth.

I never wanted to let you go that Friday night, 

But I saw how much I was hurting you talking about him. 

You didn't deserve that.

I knew it was only a temporary thing but I had to let you go.

I couldn't stand looking at you,

Hurting.

Why didn't I do something to fix it?

Why couldn't I stop it?

I shut you out of my life after we broke up.

You tried to keep things the same,

But I thought I was over it.

When I wasn't.

I just needed to work on myself.

I know I did a lot wrong and saw how I verbally abused you.

It wasn't right of me.

It wasn't me.

A lot was going on in my life.

Some stuff you knew, other things you didn't.

At the time I was losing myself,

Afraid of losing you too.

When that's just what I did.

I lost you.

I used him as an excuse to break up.

I know it was wrong of me but I didn't know how else to do it.

I forced myself to "like" him after our breakup,

When really, I wanted you.

I wasn't losing myself because of you.

I was losing myself because I felt something was wrong.

I was only too late to recognize it.

All we needed was a break,

Not a break-up.

It's too late to take back the past,

But I hope we can be one again in the future.

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*Author's Note* I don't know how to fix the format so please bear with me on that. 

This break has been really hard on me. We broke up 11 days after our one year. It is my fault I will admit, but I didn't choose this. I was unstable mentally and I wasn't myself. I wasn't even there the whole relationship, I was physically, just not mentally. He won't hear me out about it though and it's hard trying to fight against this. I've backed off today though. I figured, if he truly loved me and wanted us to happen then he would come back around. I hate losing a soulmate but if he does this, just know I tried once I came back.