Soda's Only

Chapter Ten

A week later, Soda is better and able to go back home. They sent me home a day before he was ready to leave and this time I don't object. I need to tell the gang about Soda. And maybe stop by my house to tell my mother where I've been all this time. But I'm only doing this because Soda wants me to, or I'd never speak to her again. Maybe it's hasty, but clearly she doesn't like me anymore, and vice versa. But hearing Soda talk about his parents'death makes me guilty; at least I have a mother.

"She'll b,e worried about you," Soda pleaded me the day before I left the hospital. "Please just inform her where you've been. You don't have to stay with her afterward."

I sighed and looked Soda in the eyes. Both of them were back to normal now. "Fine. But only because you're begging me." I snap, but deep down I want to please Sodapop. He gives me an affectionate smile, making my heart flutter. I loved when he did that.

When I left Sodapop with a hug and a kiss on the cheek, I set off for his house first. I'd tell the gang he'd be coming home tomorrow. Then I'd summon up all my will power to talk to my mother. For Soda.

"Hey, look who's here!" Two-Bit sprung up off the couch when he saw me and his call summoned everyone.

Darry shot from the kitchen, Pony at his heels. Their eyes were hopeful. Steve had chocolate cake smeared all over his face when he sat up from his place on the floor in front of the television.

"How is he?" Thay all asked, almost in perfect unison.

I chuckled and nodded reassuringly. "He's fine," I nudge Two-Bit away from me when he opens his arms and comes after me for a giant bear-hug. "He'll be here tomorrow mornin'."

Everyone hoots and yelps in celebration. I'm offered some cake by Steve and gladly take a piece. For an hour all of us sit around the living room and just talk. It's weird without Soda by my side, holding my hand. But when i look from Ponyboy to Steve sitting on either side of me right now...I feel safe. Enough. But not like when I'm in Soda's arms. That's really something.

"Well, I gotta head off now," I climb to my feet after the episode of Mickey Mouse was done.

"Where you headed?" Darry asked me curiously. "To see Soda?"

I wish. "No, to my house," I choke out. I never even mentioned I had a home around any of these people. Maybe they all assumed I lived on the streets. "I need to pick up some clothes. I can't use all of Soda's. About that..." I grab Soda's gray flannel from around my waist and slide it on me.

Darry and Ponyboy exchange glances. Then Darry nods. "Of course you're welcome here, Lilly,"

My head suddenly clears, and my heart's beating fast with joy. "Oh, thank you, Darry!" I run up to him and embrace him tightly. This must've surprised him. It surprised me more. "I promise I won't be a burden."

He rolls his eyes teasingly then waves me off. "Go on home, then, kid."

I thank him and Ponyboy again before racing off in the direction of my house. It's surprisingly not far away from the Curtis'. When I get closer, dread drives away all the joy that I felt. But hearing Soda's words and seeing his sad eyes makes my legs walk right up to my door. I knock, my face grim. I expect the worst.

And that's exactly what I get.  As soon as my mother opens the door, a look of pure disgust spreads across her face. Her eyes are narrowed with familiar hate and her arms are crossed on her chest. This is how she usually looks at me. So nothing's changed.

"Look, I just came here to pack up my stuff," I say, sliding past her fast and heading to my room. My former room. I grab a plastic bag that was just lying around and started shoving all of my clothes in it. I don't have much, so the bag is perfect for my load. When I'm done I walk back to the front door where my mother still stands.

"I never want to see your face around my house again, you understand?" She snarls so menacingly, I flinch. "If you do...I'll kill ya. Don't think I'll hesitate, either. You've dead weight all my life and I've always wanted to get rid of ya. Who'd have thought a boy could do that for me?"

My heart skips a beat in fear. "How dare you talk to me like that," I say, almost too calmly. "I'm your daughter. Your own flesh and blood. No wonder dad left ya, you good for nothing bitch!" And with that, I slam the door and run off.

She knows about Sodapop. How? Has she possibly seen us together? When we were working together at the DX, or walking home? I don't know, but the thought chills me. I don't realize I'm crying until my hand wipes my eyes on its own. Why am I crying?

Because of what she said to me? Because I'm now motherless? Or because she might do something to Soda? I wouldn't let that happen.

When I got back to the Curtis house, they all asked me how it went and I told them. Everything. It was about time they all knew my story, anyway. When I finished I wasn't crying. Because the looks my gang gave me told me I was safe at last.