Battlefields to Ball-gowns (A Bridgerton Fanfiction)

Chapter 28

Violet Bridgerton was bewildered when Anthony showed up at her door three days into his honeymoon. He looked downright vexed as he entered without his wife trailing behind. She was almost certain she would never see them apart after their wedding so worry began to fill her when Anthony arrived alone. She knew something was wrong yet she had no idea what. 

"Welcome dearest... I thought I would not see you for some time after the wedding. Have you forgotten something? You could have sent a maid to fetch it. I hope you are not working during your honeymoon time." Violet tried to keep the atmosphere light but the deep line in Anthony's brow warned that that would be quite impossible. 

"My wife won't sleep with me." 

"ANTHONY BRIDGERTON!" Violet scolded wide-eyed and flushed. She prayed to god that she would never have to discuss sex with her sons as well as her daughters. Curse Edmund and that stupid fucking bee that killed him for leaving her to deal with this shit on her own. 

"No! Not like that mother. After the rebellion, Artemis is on edge. She is haunted by memories of battle. During our wedding night, she was having a nightmare and when she awoke the nightmares followed her. She didn't recognize me and held a knife to my throat. Now she is too afraid to sleep near me, lest it happen again. I don't want her to fear vulnerability with me. I want to sleep with my wife at my side. She refuses to discuss it, making some cheeky joke or changing the subject. She has requested separate rooms, mother. My wife grows distant and I despise it but I do not wish to be insensitive to her fears... What do I do?" 

Violet sent a quiet thank you to god that she misunderstood before turning her attention to Anthony's issue. 

"Honestly, dearest... I'm afraid I don't know. Why don't you ask Apollo for advice? He is her twin and he was with her after the first war, perhaps he could provide some insight." Violet offered.

"A brilliant idea, thank you, Mother," Anthony said before running off again. 

Apollo Black had not been 100% sober since the rebellion had ended, but he definitely needed a drink to deal with his sister's needy husband and her PTSD crisis. He poured himself a large scotch, downing it before pouring himself another. 

"So she tried to kill you... she found a way to not kill you... but your clingy ass is not pleased because you want to be unconscious next to her while she is unconscious yes?"

"...You are mocking me."

"A little bit yes. She is still fucking you, I see no problem with her returning to her room afterward."

"It's not about sleeping together. She refuses to talk to me about it. She won't open up to me about her nightmares or her fear. She refuses to talk about her mother or brother's deaths or what she witnessed during the war. I want to support my wife. I want her to rely on me, and feel comfortable being vulnerable around me as I am with her. We are married, partners until death. I just want her to trust me." Anthony felt frustrated and helpless in the situation. She was shutting him out and he hated it. 

Apollo sighed taking out a piece of parchment and writing something down.

"...Go home, Anthony. Give this to my foolish twin... Just... be patient with her. Her walls are built high but she loves you. She thinks she is protecting you. Just don't give up on her..."

Artemis was exhausted. She hadn't slept more than a few minutes in two days. She was too afraid she would hurt someone in her nightmare-filled stupor. 

She smiled as she joked around with the maids. Catherine and Malory were laughing at some stupid joke she had told. Anthony entered the library smiling at his wife's laugh. The evening had grown late he had left after dinner and only just returned. 

The maids curtsied swiftly leaving the couple sending a sly smirk to each other as they closed the door behind them. 

A predatory smirk grew on Artemis' lovely face as she pulled her husband in by his belt loops, "I have missed you, my love."

"I was gone no more than an hour."

"Too long still, I'm afraid." She smiled kissing him in newly wedded bliss, "Where did you go?"

"...I went to talk to my mother and then Apollo." He admitted, not wanting to lie to his new wife. Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion, "On our honeymoon? Why visit your mother and my brother on our honeymoon? I thought the English would find that taboo." 

"I... I have been frustrated lately and I needed advice... Here Apollo told me to give this to you." Anthony handed over the letter and watched her confusion melt into monotone annoyance. 

'Dearest foolish sister,

Your clingy ass husband is worried about you. He wants to love and support you as your vows suggest yet you are too pussy to allow that to happen. You have fought two wars, conquered a nation, and united two countries through your love. You are a fucking hero so stop acting like a faulty weapon. I love you but you have to let him in. Let him support you. You married the bitch, he's your other half now, not me. You are one in body and soul. You got the body part down based on the massive hickey on this man's neck. Now figure out the soul part before you live your life miserable in a lonely bed. Talk to him you wuss. I love you. 

Signed, The mentally stable twin for once.'

"He is such a fucking brat." She whispered to herself before turning her full attention to the love of her life in front of her. 

She sighed in resignation and like a criminal heading to the gallows she allowed a crack in that protective wall around her. 

"I hate many of the atrocities I have committed. I despise that part of me that is capable of killing without remorse...I could not live with myself if that monstrous, dark part of my soul harmed you in any way... War is not as noble or poetic as the ballads suggest. My nightmares are simply memories... I promised my soul to you and yet it is broken and rotting... I love you but I would slit my own wrists before I allow anything to happen to you again."

Anthony took her hands in his, "I know that your past haunts you... But I do not see someone broken or rotting... You are a survivor, my wife, my everything. If you feel safer sleeping in another room for now, I will support you in any way I can. But I beg you not to shut me out... You are covered in scars that have healed but those on your soul still remain open and bleeding... Let me take care of the soul you gave into my care when you married me... It will take time... But I love you and we can work through this together... just please don't shut me out."

Tears slipped down her face as she rested her forehead against his, basking in his presence. 

"I have loved you since the moment I knew you... I will follow you for a million more miles and through a thousand more nightmares. I will love you enough for the both of us until you see yourself the way I see you..."

A choked sob escaped her throat as she held him close.

"I love you Anthony Bridgerton... Please...Don't give up on me."

"I love you Artemis Bridgerton... Please...Don't shut me out."