Who We Were

Two

Watching Joel play always made me happy. He loved football more than life. I didn't get the fascination myself, no matter how much he tried to explain it to me, I never got it. I wasn't a football girl to say the least. I was for Joe. I'd been to every game since he got signed on with United, attended most at his last club, only missing them when I was in the hospital and even then, one of them would face time me or record it so I got to see him play.

Last year wasn't just rough on me. It was just hard all around. Nearly losing one of your best friends was never going to be a walk in the park. I can't imagine going through what they all did last year. The thought of losing them was horrible. Retaking the year all together was the best choice any of us could have made.

Joel was the worst off too. Apparently there was points where the nurses had to get security to remove him from the building, Noah and George sitting outside his bedroom door until he passed out from sheer exhaustion. I, of course, do not remember a single thing. 6 weeks I was out. All I remember is waking up with a tube down my throat and doctors faces above me talking but I couldn't hear them over the sound of blood rushing in my ears. Pain. I remember pain. Everywhere. And then Joel. When the tube was out. I remember Joel standing between my parents, bloodshot eyes and the tip of his nose red and sore.

Main Hoe⚽👱🏻

Where you at angel?

Same place as always.
I was sad

I'm coming. Don't move an inch.
Why? What's up?

Kai ate my biscuits

🙄

He got me more
And nuggets
And drove me here

Your Oreos?

Mhm.

"OW. What was that for?" I lifted my head as Kai shouted out, the rest of the group gathered around the cars. I didn't need to know.

"Oreos." Joel smiled at me ducking under Noah's arm as he rubbed Kai's head better, pouting sarcastically. "Hey."

"Hi rockstar. Good job kicking a ball today."

"You think your funny?" Joel wrapped his arms around me, pulling me up until my feet lifted from the floor. The smell of his almond shampoo filled my nose.

"No. You did a good job. Hit the ball in the net too. I hear that's a good thing." He shook his head hugging me a little tighter. "Joe. You're suffocating me."

"Good."

"I can't breathe." He chuckled, letting go slightly. "I'm starving."

"She had nuggets on our way over." Kai blurted out, the girls all rolling their eyes. My feet made their way back to the ground, turning back to the group. "20."

"I shared them."

"You? Shared?" Joel put his hand on my forehead. "You okay? Do we need to call Dr Ellis?" I pushed him off me, the group giggling at me as I pouted.

"Aww. Look at that bottom lip."

"I swear to god, I will walk onto the motorway."

"Not a fucking chance." Joel wrapped his arms around me protectively, tugging me back into his chest.

"Why would you even joke like that?" Drew glared at me.

"Okay now who's the one pouting. You all have the exact same look."

"Because it's not a funny joke."

"You guys make it literally all the time. I can pull up 20 messages from today alone of Lennox saying she wants to top herself."

"Difference is Len didn't already nearly die in the past 18 months."

"I didn't nearly die."

"Yes, you did." Like a chorus choir that had been practicing the same song for hours and hours on end, their voices harmoniously combined. I rolled my eyes. moving my head back.

"I really don't want another lecture before I have to get in a car, people. Can we just go home?" They all stared at me. "Joey?"

"Okay Ari." He nodded, kissing the top of my head. "Let's go. See you guys back home?" He didn't wait for an answer, pulling on my shoulder to turn me around, walking back through the car park towards his car. We both kept quiet until we were well out of ear shot. "How was therapy today?"

There wasn't a lot I could really say about therapy now. It was the same thing continuously. Had been for months. Just going over the trauma that now swamped me and dealing with the consequences of what happened. I was lucky. I know I was. One survival out of 15 deaths in that 7 car pile-up and it just so happened to be me. But being lucky did not for a second mean I wasn't ruined by who I was now. I still have a whole life ahead of me and I'll get there. I will get back to normal. It was just rough right now. I was a lot. PTSD Aria was a lot.

"It was fine. Same stuff." I laid my head on his shoulder. "I wish it was easy and I was normal."

"I know Ari." Joel's head pushed into the top of mine. "You'll get there. They're just worried about you. It's not like me where I know you're joking because I know all the therapy stuff. They don't. I'm not saying you need to tell them Ari. I know it's super personal babe. But when you're complaining about the pain and therapy and everything, they don't know you're joking like I do."

"I don't mean it."

"I know you don't Ari."

"It just sucks. I don't want to fucking die. Do you know how crappy that would be? How much work those nurses put into me? Also, if I'm dead, who do I get to show all my cool scars too?" He chuckled, letting go of me to walk around the car and get into my side. Anxiety whilst driving with Joel didn't exist. It never had. To the point we didn't know about me struggling with it until after I'd been sent home from the hospital and 3 weeks later when I needed to go back for a check-up. Dana and George were taking me and as soon as George pulled out I blacked out. Just a full blown panic attack taking over my entire body. Even now George couldn't drive if I was in the car.

"How are they looking now?" I pulled up my hoodie, turning so he could see the white line running diagonally across half of my torso. "Pretty cool scar."

"Yeah, Ryan didn't think so." I pulled the hoodie back down, sinking further down in my seat. "Hated it."

"There's a lot of things Ryan hated."

"Yeah. My scars, Kai, George, Noah, you. Want me to keep going?"

"I get the idea." Joel chuckled. "Right woman. What's for dinner because I'm starving and I might commit GBH if I don't feed both of us."