Two sides of The Same Coin - BatJokes Oneshots

Sick as a Bat - Fluff

Lego Batman

Normal POV

Batman was not pleased with the current night, a new drug had dropped recently and was flooding the lowest class of Gotham. He would see many of the homeless, sex workers, and low economy workers dying because of this new drug, Dragon Tears. He had no leads, the police too were at a standstill with this case. These people would take Dragon Tears and die after a few hours, Batman couldn't just stand by. He decided with no leads that he needed to start somewhere, and that somewhere was a certain clown with neon green hair.

However, the Joker was busy with a case himself. A case of the stomach bug. Joker sniffled his nose once again, groaning in displeasure. He hated the feeling of being sick and weak, he hated it so much because it meant he was in no condition to fight his Boo-Bat. AH yes, the Batman, his long-loved nemesis, the one man that Joker could drop anything for in an instant, except this sickness. Joker rolled out of his bed to make another trip to the bathroom, hunching over his toilet in agony and letting loose pure digestive acid. He couldn't keep much down, and by much that means nothing. Joker was alone, and had no way of going out to get food, he couldn't eat anything because he had nothing to eat.

He looked in his cracked bathroom mirror inside his dingy bathroom, his appearance was horrific, he was thinner than usual, with bags under his eyes. His hair was disheveled and dirty, falling to the nape of his neck, he had no makeup on, his lips were slightly rosy and chapped due to the whole acid-accident that left him this way. He had no energy, and the only thing keeping his appearance slightly normal was the large oversized Batman shirt he stole a few months ago. While Joker was busy picking himself apart in his mirror he heard his bedroom window open, and stealthy footsteps. Joker perked up, immediately knowing those steps, his Bat was here! Joker stumbled into his bedroom, clutching his stomach as he sweat profusely, Batman appeared in his view, ready to throw down.

"Give it up Joker, I know you're behind the distribution of Dragon Tears." Batman growled, Joker's face contorted into one of pure confusion.

"Dragawhatwhat?" Joker asked quickly, he couldn't raise his voice much, his throat was sore from all of the throwing up. Batman stood still in stance, a hand on a Batarang.

"Dragon Tears. The new drug sweeping Gotham and killing lower class people. You have to know something about it." Batman barked out, Joker was still confused and just shook his head, a small laugh escaping his throat before he violently coughed on it.

"I'm sorry Bats, I haven't done much recently but puke my brains out. I have no idea about anything going on in Gotham right now, let alone the drug rings." He shot back, before gently sitting on the bed, reaching for a new tissue, but finding himself fresh out. Batman had finally noticed his foe's appearance, and just how sickly he looked.

"Joker, you look terrible. When did you eat last?" Batman asked lowly, quickly making his way over to the clown and standing beside him, taking more of his appearance in.

"Wow Batsy, you sure know how to make someone feel pretty. As far as my food situation, I haven't eaten for about two days I think?" Joker had to genuinely think about his answer, he wasn't sure what day it was anymore, but it was his best guess. Batman removed one of his gloves and held his hand up to Joker's forehead to check his temperature, and it wasn't good. Joker was burning up, his best guess was around 102-103 F. Joker was flushed red, both because of the fever, and the physical contact of his Bats' hand, instinctively Joker leaned into Bat's hand, catching the Bat off guard.

"You need to eat something, and you have a fever, Joker. I can make you something real quick in your kitchen." Batman mumbled, he couldn't just leave the clown here by himself in this state. Joker dryly chuckled, a little embarrassed with the situation.

"Sorry Bats, but I don't have anything in the kitchen. All I have is tap water." He whispered, very shy because he tried to look flashy for his Bat, but in reality the Joker just sucked at taking care of himself. Batman stood from the bed, putting his glove back on and heading to the window. Joker looked at him absolutely shaken, thinking he said something wrong to upset his Bat.

"I'll be right back, alright?" Batman glanced back at the clown, his heart breaking at the state of Joker. His eyes were watery and bloodshot, and he looked on the verge of a breakdown. Joker only nodded, not quite believing his Bat. With that the Batman grappled out of the window and into the night.

Joker was distraught, cuddling one of his dusty pillows, he couldn't bear the idea of his Bat standing him up after seeing him this vulnerable. It seemed like hours before his Bat came back in through the window, Joker shot up, still hugging his dirty pillow. In reality Batman was only gone for 20 minutes, and in his hands were bags of food, water, electrolyte drinks, and medicine. Batman handed Joker a bottle of Tylenol and a sports drink and water.

"Take two of these, I'll make you something to eat." He whispered, before disappearing out of the bedroom. Eventually he came back with a bowl of soup, and a few crackers, setting it down for Joker to eat. Joker scarfed the food down, finally being able to eat something substantial. Joker yawned out loud, quickly slapping his hand on top of his mouth, before glancing up at a smirking Batman. Joker's eyes were getting heavy, his belly was full and his fever was taking a toll on him, without thinking Joker raised his arms up and grabbed handfuls of air towards the Bat.

"Batsy...come cuddle meee." Batman cocked his eyebrow in confusion.

"You're delusional if you think I'm going to sleep with you Joker." Batman dryly chuckled. Joker gave him his best attempt at puppy dog eyes.

"Pleaseeee Boo-Bat. I'll be better in no time with some big ol' bat-lovin'. I just wanna cuddle and sleep, that's all!" Joker whined out, rubbing his eyes with the palms of his hands. Batman shook his head and kicked his boots off, making his way to the bed, unclasping his cape to fall to the floor of Joker's bedroom.

"Fine joker, but never call me Boo-Bat again." Batman ordered, Joker just smiled in victory and latched onto his Bat as soon as he sat on the bed. Batman laid himself down, propping one of his arms behind his masked head, the other wrapped around Joker's thin waist. Joker grabbed the thick comforter and pulled it over them, as he yawned once more.

"Thank you Batsy, for taking such good care of me." Joker whispered, Batman rolled his eyes, a small genuine smile in his lips.

"Yeah, yeah. I hate you ya' know?" He chuckled out, Joker smiled sleepily at his Bat, lazily 'booping' the nose of his mask.

"I love you too Batsy~" He whispered as he fell asleep into the neck of his Bat.

(A/N) I hope you enjoyed this little oneshot! I'll write another sick scenario between the two, just a little more smutty! Thank you for reading <3 

-lemondust