Two sides of The Same Coin - BatJokes Oneshots

Flowers from a Bat - (Slight Smut, Mostly Fluff)

Lego Batman (Hint of smut, sexual language)

Joker was not happy, a large frown on his usually perky smiley face was now irritated and twisted with fury. He gripped his hair as he ranted to Harley in pure anger, as she gingerly listened to his every word.

"I just can't Harls- I- AHH! The BOMBS DIDN'T GO OFF? I couldn't put my lipstick on today, my coat ripped, I messed up my dialog with the BAT? I JUST...CAN'T TODAY!" He shouted into the palms of his hands, Harley Quinn skated over to him on their cracked wooden floor. She rested a gloved hand on his back and gently smiled at him.

"Aw Boo-Bear, it's alright. It's just an off-day for you, everybody has them, even Big-Ol-Batsy!" She giggled, rubbing circles on the Clown Prince's back. He just sighed and threw himself onto their shared leather couch. Joker pulled a thin blanket over himself, sulking after having an absolute shitty day.

"Oh honey, do ya' want me to grab ya' some ice cream?" Harley asked, already skating to the door, knowing the answer.

"Yes please...I want mi-" Joker started, Harley quickly cut him off though.

"Mint chocolate chip. I know, just cause ya' a psycho hun doesn't excuse the fact that it's ya' fave." She cooed as she left through the cracked door.

Harley skated through the neighborhood, it was late at night and the only light was what came from the busted street lamps that lined Gotham's streets. Harley made her way to the corner ice cream stand, and got a small container of mint chocolate chip ice cream, she pulled out a (toy) hun and held it up to the man before turning to skate off. However, she was abruptly stopped in her tracks by a large Bat.

"Oh! Heys Batsy-poo~" She giggled out, Batman rolled his eyes and stood above her, shadowing her in his presence.

"Am I going to have to take you in for such a petty crime?" He scoffed, displaying a small smile. The two are well familiar, as he sees her a lot of the time ever since Bats and Joker started dating a few months ago.

"I forgot my wallet! Would Ya mind Batsy?" She batted her eyelashes at Batman, he only shook his head and handed the worker a $20, telling him to keep the change. The poor worker promptly took off afterwards, Batman turned towards Harley, his eyes scanning the area.

"Where is he?" Bats asked cautiously, Harley quickly caught onto the small amount of worry laced in his voice.

"Ya boyfriend? He's at home, had a bad day and is taking it out on the poor couch." Harley had her turn to roll her eyes, shaking her head in disappointment. Batman chuckled and turned to leave.

"It might make him feel better to see you, Batsy, so if you have time to pop in I'd appreciate it." Harley shouted towards him as he left. Batman turned towards her slightly and smiled.

"I'll be there in 10." With that, Batman escaped into the night. Harley skated her way back to the shared home with her best friend, and promptly entered. Joker looked up at her, a small smile on his face as she handed him the ice cream and spoon.

"Aw shucks Harls, thanks for stealing me some ice cream!" He laughed, Harley sat next to him and grabbed the busted TV remote. She smacked it a few times to get it to work, and changed the channel on the cracked TV.

"Actually Boo-Bear, Batsy paid for it. I ran into him at the ice cream stand, and he asked about you." She smiled at him, Joker choked on his mouthful of sweet ice cream goodness and started coughing up a lung.

"W-w-what?" He exclaimed while trying to retain his breathing. The TV quickly went to static, causing Harley to groan and stand up, turning towards her friend.

"Yeah! He was just wondering where you were at, that's all. Anyways, I got a date with Ivy tonight, so I'll be staying at her place, alright pumpkin?" Harley gently rubbed Joker's head affectionately, he only nodded with a flush face. Harley skated towards the door ready to leave, and when she opened the door she was met face-to-face with the Big Bat himself.

"Oh! Ya' right on time sugar! He's right in there." She jammed her thumb behind her, signaling to the clown on the couch, Batman came into the house, a few gifts in one hand and a hand-picked bundle of wild-flowers in the other. Harley giggled and left the house for her own partner. Joker jumped up in excitement.

"Batsy!" He ran and engulfed the bat in a bone-crushing hug.

"Here." Batman calmly stated, gently holding out his two items, Joker gingerly took the flowers first, smiling like a love-sick teenager as he raced to put them in a somewhat nice vase and placed them on the coffee table. He then raced back to the Bat and pulled him to the couch where he opened his gifts. The first one he unwrapped was a beautiful diamond necklace, Joker looked back up at the Bat with wide eyes.

"Diamonds? Batsy, you didn't have to-" He was cut off by Batman just handing him another gift. Joker tenderly opened it, finding one of Batman's capes inside, Joker squealed in delight as he promptly took it out and wrapped himself in it.

"That's from our first ever fight. I thought you might like it." Batman chuckled, Joker nodding his head quickly in agreement.

"Oh Batsy! Thank you, thank you, thank you!" He chippered out, but Batman handed him one final gift, and Joker felt a little more tense about this one. He fumbled with the wrapping paper and lifted the lid of the box. His face burned a deep red at the sight of it, it was a toy.

"Batsy...this isn't."

"It is."

"Oh, it is."

Joker was staring straight at a sex toy, and not just any regular one. It was an expensive, replicated dildo of his favorite Bat's cock.

"I love it!" Joker yelled out, quickly reaching his Bat to smash his ruby colored lips onto.

"Now if I'm busy working and can't be there quick enough, you'll have something else to enjoy while you wait." Batman snickered, Joker hid his face in his Bat's neck, quickly giving his neck a few soft kisses.

"Thank you darling. I appreciate it so much." Joker whispered, Batman pulled Joker off of him and rested him in his lap, placing his forehead onto his boyfriend's.

"Safe to assume your day is better now?" Batman asked smugly, Joker only scoffed and looked away, a mischievous smile on his face.

"Could be better, it's still missing something..." He slyly started, Batman caught on to the dirty thought and gripped Joker's waist,

"I think I can handle that."