Tough Love, Johnny Cade (Jally)

Sixteen: Comedy Coverup

By the time it was getting dark, we needed more wood for the fire. We didn't have a hatchet or anything, so we'd just been using whatever sticks and logs we could find around. There were plenty, but without the sun beyond the horizon, it was hard to see in the surrounding woods.

"Come on, Johnny, help me find more wood." Two-Bit was headed past the fire, headed for the trees.

"Now?" I asked, nervously glancing at Dally and Ponyboy. "It's getting dark now."

"Exactly, so let's get enough to last us until dawn while we can still see an inch in front of our face!"

I sighed, reluctantly following along. I tried not to think of the bears as we entered into the trees. Two-Bit carried a bulky metal flashlight.

"Boo!" Two-Bit flashed the light in my face suddenly. I jumped, and he laughed.

"Did you really just get scared by 'boo'?" He cackled.

"You flashed me with that light Two-Bit, did they ever teach you about what going to heaven looks like?"

Two shrugged, picking up a large piece of broken branch and handed it to me. "Probably," he said, "it looks like this." He jolted his head suddenly at at awkward angle, mocking cracking and choking sounds.

"Most people wouldn't joke about death, you know." I said, gathering some thick sticks from the ground.

"I'm not most people." Two-Bit said. "Besides, it's '65, people are just going to have to except that things are changing."

"Changing?" I laughed lightly. "You mean the old geezers who still think rock and roll is the devil's music?"

"I'm just saying, people should be less boring." Two-Bit set the flashlight on a tree trunk, casting out over the grass. I looked at him, an eyebrow cocked.

"Right," I said with a playful- but nervous- sarcasm. "and you have such exiting plans for your future." I crouched and broke a large stick in half, collecting it with the rest of my wood. I stood up and suddenly realized Two-Bit hadn't given me some wise remark yet. I turned and looked at him.

Two-Bit seemed to snap out of a daze. "I want to be a comedian." He said.

I blinked. "Wait... really?"

Two-Bit looked at me for a minute before cracking his Cheshire grin. "Yeah, I'm going to make people laugh until they're blue, and I'm going to get rich from it."

I laughed, shaking my head. "That's really what you want to do for the rest of your life?"

Two-Bit frowned suddenly. "No." He said. Then his eyes widened, and he laughed nervously. "What I mean is..." Two-Bit trailed off, and I stood there waiting for a catch that never came.

Then I realized there wasn't some joke going along with it.

"Golly, Two-Bit, are you alright?" I set down my arm full of wood onto the ground, looking up worriedly at Two-Bit. I don't think I'd seen him frown so much since I'd gotten jumped by those Socs.

"Of course I'm alright." He said. His comedic tone was dead in a way I'd never heard of before. Walked over next to him and sat on the tree trunk. He slowly sat next to me.

"Why don't you want to be a comedian?" I asked after a moment. Two-Bit shrugged before laughing.

"I don't know man, I don't..." he sighed. "I don't know what I'm gonna do."

"You don't know what you want to do?" I asked. Two-Bit shook his head.

"What could I be, Johnny?" Two-Bit sounded completely different than he ever had. I wondered foolishly if it was a fake.

"I mean, just look at me." Two-Bit waved at himself. "I just turned eighteen, I just finished my sophomore year of high school, I don't have a job, I'm living with my mom, who can barely support me and my sister-"

"Two-Bit, slow down." I said, putting a hand on his forearm. "None of that matters."

"Yes it does!" Two-Bit turned and looked at me and I realized his eyes were glossed with tears. "Johnny, I know you all like me for who I am, but I've got nothing in my future. Comedy doesn't make that go away, it just hides it. My life is literally a joke."

Two-Bit chuckled a little. "Get it, because it's a joke..?"

I hid my grin. Two-Bit couldn't even open up about his feelings without sneaking in some joke. He still had to get his two-bits in.

"Gosh, Two, I didn't know all that." I said. "So is that why you're always making jokes? To like, cover up how you feel?"

"I make jokes because I'm a comedic genius." Two-Bit said. "But also that, sort of. Doesn't matter."

Two-Bit stood.

"It does matter." I said. But when Two-Bit looked back at me with his eyebrow cocked, I knew he was past the conversation. I sighed. "Well, you can talk to me whenever, you know."

"Grab your sticks, Johnnycake." Two-Bit said, grabbing the flashlight. "Let's get back to camp."

*** *** *** ***

When we got back, Pony and Dally were sitting by the fire.

"Hey guys." Dally said as me and Two dropped our wood into a pile. "Who's better, Paul Newman, or Henry Fonda?"

"I don't know anything about famous people." I said, sitting down next to Pony. Pony frowned at me.

"We saw both of them earlier this week at the movies." Pony said. I shrugged.

"I'm exhausted." Dally said. "I'm gonna go ahead and bunker down for the night."

"It's not even nine." Two-Bit said. "But okay, party pooper."

Dallas stood up and I noticed he looked rather weary. He walked past me and went into the tent.

"Is he okay?" Pony asked quietly so only I'd hear. Naturally, he noticed too.

"I dunno."

Nobody was still hungry, so we just sat around the fire and listened to Two-Bit tell stories. Two-Bit ran out of energy within an hour though, and he eventually wondered off to his tent.

"You can go sleep Johnny." Pony said. "I'll put the fire out." He could tell I was getting tired myself. I nodded reluctantly and stood. I stretched, and then headed for the tent. Crawling through the flaps, I saw that Dally was asleep on his side of the tent. I crawled over to my side and in between two blankets. With my back turned to Dally, I forced my eyes closed and tried to sleep. Eventually, I was able to

I woke up to a noise. It was a human type noise, so it didn't scare me so much as concern. I opened my eyes, and laying still, I listened. It was Dally behind me, catching his breath.

Another dream.

After thinking for a moment, I sat up slowly and looked over at him. He was sat up too, and his breathing slowed when he saw me looking at him.

"Hey." I whispered.

"Hey." He whispered. He was trembling. For a brief moment, I thought about trying to comfort him, but I wasn't sure considering the whole we can't thing. So we just kind of looked at each other for a moment before Dally said something.

"Just go back to sleep, it's all good." Dally started to lay back down.

"Whoa!" I brought my hand to my temple.

"Are you okay?!" Dally asked, sitting up straight.

"Yeah, I think, I just suddenly got a..." I brought my other hand to my temple and dug my fingers into my hair. "Gah!"

"Johnny?" Dally was moving toward me when I passed out.