Out of reach

Perfection until...

Not so long ago, my life was the dream of perfection.
Perfection as in unsurpassed, exquisite and superlative, although it wasn't just all of those desired definitions of perfection, it was an "immaculate" life to begin with...a heart felt with relief and gratitude. Perfection was displayed as an old photograph of a complete paradise, with nothing stopping me or destroying that perfect life I had. On most occasions, I would sit by my nearest lake, where I treasured all those memories i made with friends, and the passion of sailing; likewise I treasured the peacefulness that flowed along the the small river stream, with the fish swimming by, and the old trees swaying like it was a message from my grandma saying hello. The historic trees also made a grand opening of the glazing warm sun, patterning the blue lake, which always made a beautiful tiny shine on my face: "the golden sun" it was named- it was like an interaction with dearest grandma. My sort of paradise was belonged here, no where else but here.

Was this ensured as calm before the storm?

Destroyed, irreparable, damaged.
The storm altered in a change of a fire turning orange to a dark/black red
I couldn't believe it, my paradise was gone in a split of a second, the long prolonged life I wished I wanted to life forever, was dispersed into an empty land of nothing but sadness. That where I lived, my happiness and treasured never ending memories was gone; my incomparable life was gone, never to be replaced. Alone in the shades of gloom, and around the upsetting atmosphere, I was left with nothing but with a black dark hole drilled into my heart- my heart inside me was pounding with anxiety and unhappiness; I didn't know how to act or suppose to be helpful around where my paradise was destroyed, my heart belonged to the waves which infilled by blood with adrenaline of enjoyment. Distance of miles and miles, was full of emptiness around me. The wind gusted with a screaming joy, knowing that it got me in a trap of haziness; the wind caught my face in a catch of a fly, and it wrapped my expressions so they could be hidden and pro-founded. That was when my clothes was grasping onto to me, the wind tugging, pulling and suffocating my breathing, lifting me away...

I lifted up from the grey, deserted ground...
Engulfed my whirlwind, the ground became darker like my my memories was becoming darker and distorted to death. I felt the urgency to reach a connection with my dearest old grandma, but she was out of reach: I was loosing her gradually at the tips of my fingers, meaning I was entering danger: I need safety, I need my grandma!
My whole life was nothing but gone. Gone, forever! The good and the bad was escaping from my commandments. I didn't want them here, not in this incomparable, hellish trap I was being held in. I felt like a bird tweeting for help, within a cage full of darkness and hellish noises. I deeply missed the life I had and I don't want the enemy to retake control of me- I just want my life how it was suppose to be before the storm occurred. I didn't wish to be alone, I wanted an interaction with family and my old fellow friends; I had to take on the urge that my brain was showing signals, to close my eyes to display