No Matter What (Steddie)

No Matter What

Eddie slept in bed with Steve every night and over the next week, they slowly moved his things back into the master bedroom. A lot of things went back to the way they had been before, but not everything. When they went to bed at night, it was still just sleeping. Steve held Eddie in his arms, and they slept. Nothing more. Not even a kiss. Neither of them wanted to rush into anything.

Because Steve was off work, he woke up every morning and made Eddie breakfast and he had dinner waiting for him when he got home in the evenings. He offered to drive Eddie to work since Eddie really didn't like driving in the snow, and since that was their habit in the past. But Eddie insisted that he was fine. He could drive. So, Eddie worked, and Steve played the dutiful housewife.

After dinner every night, Eddie went out to practice with Neon Knights for a couple of hours. They only had a week more to go. Though Eddie thought they sounded tight and didn't really need any more practice, he still went for one reason. To get away from Steve. It wasn't that he didn't want to be near Steve, but with the lack of physical intimacy between them, sometimes it got a little awkward when they were alone together. So, they both just tried to make it through the best way they knew how.

When New Year's Eve rolled around the following Thursday, Eddie didn't want to go to work. He was a bundle of nerves and couldn't sit still or concentrate on anything. Even eating breakfast was an effort for him. He called Ian and let him know that he was taking the day off. It would probably be slow in the store anyway, and they were closed Friday since it was New Year's Day. Eddie told him he'd be there to open on Saturday morning, and he would see them all then.

After breakfast, Steve washed the dishes and Eddie went to watch television, hoping it would distract him. But when Steve went to join him, the television was on, playing some infomercial for a set of miracle pots and pans, and Eddie was pacing back and forth, ignoring the TV. His hands were held in front of him like he was holding a guitar and his fingers were moving, like he was playing, Steve just watched him for a minute. He'd never seen Eddie this nervous before.

When Eddie looked up and saw Steve watching him, he stopped pacing and clenched his hands together to stop them from moving. They stared at each other for a minute before Eddie started pacing again. Steve took a couple of steps closer, close enough that he could reach out and touch Eddie if he wanted, but he didn't touch him. Not yet. Eddie stole a glance at him and gave him an apologetic smile.

"I've never seen you this nervous before, Eddie."

"I don't think I've ever been this nervous," Eddie replied. "I'd give anything for a joint right now."

"Do you have any?" Eddie stopped and looked at Steve curiously. Steve wasn't stupid; he knew Eddie still smoked every once in a while. Besides the fact that he'd come home from the shop high as a kite the day that Steve had forced himself on him. "If you smoke by the back door and I stay far enough away, it should be okay." Eddie didn't say anything. Yeah, he would kill for a joint right now, and he had one in his van. But was Steve baiting him? He'd told Steve he quit years ago. Would this lead to an argument because Eddie had lied? "It's no big deal," Steve said softly. "I'm okay with it."

"Uhm, yeah," Eddie stammered. "In my van."

"Where? I'll get it for you."

"Glove compartment," Eddie answered hesitantly. "There's a cigarette pack in there with a joint in it."

"I'll be right back." Steve grabbed Eddie's keys and dashed out the front door and was back a minute later, shivering from the cold, and he handed the pack to Eddie. "Go ahead." He nodded towards the back door.

Eddie went to the back door, opened it, then leaned against the door facing as he fished a lighter out of his pocket and lit the joint. Steve stood back and watched as he smoked, and he couldn't stop himself from smiling. Eddie looked like an angel standing there. The smoke was forming a halo around his head that seemed to glow with the morning sunlight streaming in through the door. And Eddie was wearing a peacock blue silk robe that Steve had given him for his birthday a few years ago. It certainly wasn't warm enough for him to be standing in an open doorway in it, but it looked so good on him. The color was perfect against his skin tone, and the way the silk laid against his skin, it was like it was molded to every line and curve of his body.