Getting Out

6| James

"Are we going to talk about it or what?" Dad asked as we stood in the line waiting to pick up Riley's furniture. We managed to persuade her to get things she didn't typically need but we all knew she would want if circumstances were different
"Talk about what?" I asked looking back towards the line hoping it would go down faster
"Son, you know we love Riley like she was our own but are you ready to be back in her life?" HE asked making me sigh

"What happened to Riley and I before is in the past Dad, we both made some mistakes but we'll leave it there. She needed someone and I'm glad I was able to be that person" I explained
"And I love that you two are this close still but you also need to look at the bigger picture Jay, Riley is a mother now. That doesn't mean you guys can't rekindle things if that is what you choose to do but you also need to remember that it won't just be the two of you. You'll have a little pair of us watching your every move, learning from you. Depending on you" He explained 

I already knew all of this, Dad knew I knew this

"Riley being a mum doesn't change anything Dad, given both of their situations I don't think Riley would jump into anything but given half a shot and I wouldn't say no" I said
"I would be there for both of them if she let me. And before you start, nobody would ever be able to talk me out of that" I said making him smile at me 

"I'm proud of you son" Dad said gripping my shoulder to give it a little shake
"You really love her don't you" He said offering me a smile

When things ended between Riley and I, I was a mess. I didn't show that to her but when we split it killed me 
There was never a moment that I didn't think about what could have happened if I had fought a little harder
But we were both fighting and it wasn't working 

Neither of us did anything like we had in the past, we were just both on different spirals and in the end it wasn't going to be pretty

So we got out before we got too hurt 

And to this day, it's my biggest regret..

--

It was later in the evening, my parents and Piper had headed home and I had left Riley to get settled. I didn't want to overwhelm her at all, I knew today was already rather testing for her as it was 
There is a surreal feeling in the air thinking about the fact that she is back 
But we aren't the same people we used to be 

I stood up from the sofa walking over to the mantle looking over at all the photos. Some were really old tns days, others where when we were all off at college. But there will always be a few that I will never replace 

Things used to be a lot simpler that's the tip of the ice burg. There was one a time where I could never have imagine Riley or I moving on with someone new
Then when the news of her and Scott made it's rounds it hit me like a ton of bricks. I felt like I had been the problem the entire time 
That I was holding her back from the potential she could accomplish 

Then after she went radio silent on everyone I just thought that maybe she was truly getting on with life and we were all just a memory at that point

I thought she had found her place, that she was safe and happy.. But god I was wrong I was so wrong 

I know that none of us are to blame for what Riley was going through but I don't know, maybe if we had all been a bit more forceful we could have gotten through to her
Someone had to have known something surely? 
Riley may have been silent but we should have been there 

The sight of her breaking down the first night that she came back keeps replaying in my head. I can barely sleep. 
The moment I close my eyes that is all I see
Someone got her to that stage, someone managed to knock her so low that she broke 
Riley is strong, one of the strongest women I've ever met and I have no doubt Mollie will be just as strong
So it takes a lot to knock her to that point 

"Please Mollie" A small voice said making me poke my head out of the living room window to see Riley and Mollie stood on her balcony. From the looks of it, Mollie was giving Riley a run for her money right now 

"Everything okay?" I called
"Shit what-" Riley squealed before turning around to see me sat on the window ledge looking at the pair of them
"Christ James, please don't give me a heart attack" She screeched making me chuckle
"What's going on?" I asked watching Mo look around before latching onto me

"Hey bug, are you being a pain?" I asked before getting a gargle of some sort making Riley roll her eyes
"She just won't sleep for some reason" Riley sighed sounding defeated
"Why don't we take her for a drive?" You can have some fresh air and the movement might make her fall asleep?" I suggested
"She does love the car" Riley answered biting her lip
"Sooo?" I asked 

"And you'd want to come? It's like 1am James" Riley said making me shrug
"I've got nowhere else to be Ri" I winked