Sink or Swim

Chapter 12

The pale walls of the hospital had been the first thing Skye saw after her car crash and now it was like deja vu. There they were again, those familiar, perfectly clean, perfectly white walls. 

"You're lucky you live in a small beach town where people can find you quickly when you drown." Adam's voice brought Skye's mind back down to earth. She blinked a couple of times, tilting her head to stare blankly in his direction.

"Too right I am," Skye eventually sighed. She pulled herself up on her bed so that she sat upright and began chewing down on her nails. "I didn't mean to worry anyone. I didn't mean to drown."

Adam sighed and Skye looked away from him, staring out of the hospital window. "Why were you out there? Your leg isn't strong enough to swim. You're going to hinder your recovery."

She didn't return Adam's eye contact, instead, she mustered a small shrug and said, "For the first time in months I felt free. The water brushed against me and I felt like I was home again. I didn't care that it was dangerous because I was happy." A small smile lit up on Skye's face as she spoke, but only for a second.

Adam looked concerned.

"You were drunk," he emphasised. "You were swimming drunk with a leg that doesn't really work, can't you see how dangerous that is?"

Skye faked composure and finally looked toward Adam. "Of course I can," she breathed out, her words convincing. Silence fell for several moments before her expression became frightened and she continued. Her hands started trembling but she hid them under her sheets. "I think there's a darkness inside me that I've never felt before."

That said, drowning hadn't phased her in the slightest. It was her loss of friendships that was more troubling. But still, Skye felt like she was floating, like her mind had gone numb. Maybe the doctors had given her some drugs to ease whatever damage she might have caused herself.

Skye could tell that Adam had to fight his brain to try and find the right response. This was why she didn't like opening up to people, it only made them feel awkward. The truth was too much for most people to take, too much for most people to understand. They always urged you to open up, but once you did then they'd use it against you eventually.

"Shine your light over that darkness. That beaming-Skye-light that everybody knows and loves. You haven't lost it," Adam urged.

"I don't know how." She paused. Adam's words made tears flutter uncontrollably in her eyes but she wouldn't let them fall. "Do you think you can be homesick from a thing? Something like swimming? Every single day I just- I wake up craving it. I look at the water in the same way I look at puppies, the way most people look at their partner."

"And we all know how much you like dogs," chuckled Adam. "You just have to remember that this isn't forever. You've been making progress, you just need to behave yourself and stay positive. I want you swimming again."

"I want that too. More than anything."

A couple of hours passed and the nurses deemed Skye safe to go home. The hospital was small with limited beds, but they suggested more frequent counselling despite ruling the night before as an accident.

Adam drove her home and before she knew it, she was sitting back on the sofa staring into space. Every day had a plan and routine when she was a swimmer but now every day was empty. At least, when she was behaving herself.

Already bored, Skye had text Lydia and Jake asking them to meet up with her later in the evening, then she moved on to text Craig.

I know you want us to keep our distance, but I just got out of hospital. I went for a swim last night and it didn't end well, I almost drowned. But I'm fine and I don't really want to talk about it. I would really love you to come along tonight. 8pm at The Dog and Duck.