I nearly screamed as I noticed a beheaded baby doll on a shelf in the frozen food section as I was stocking the shelves. Who the hell put this here..? I chuckled.
I was about to pick it up when someone tapped my shoulder. Turning around, I saw an older man with dark hair and glasses. He somewhat resembled a classier version of Jack Black.
"Excuse me, do you know where I could find a good brand of Keurig coffee cups?" He asked.
"I could show you where they are and maybe give you a suggestion." I smiled at him. "It beats stocking shelves and dealing with..." I grabbed the headless baby doll, "... this."
After some time, I'd shown him several good kinds of coffee. I went to hand him a box but I dropped it.
"Oh, sorry!" I apologized, bending over and picking it up. I noticed a small card fall out of my pocket and land on the ground in front of me. It was the card with Slappy's magic words on it.
"What's that?" He asked. He sounded on edge upon seeing it.
I stood back up, handed him the box, and slid the card back into my pocket. "Oh, it's just a little card from this doll I found at a park last night."
"A doll?" He questioned. He seemed tense.
"Well, actually it was a ventriloquist dummy." I clarified. "It looks exactly like the one from those Goosebumps books. It's crazy, too. Those are my favorite books of all time."
His frown momentarily turned to a grin. "Your favorite?"
"Yeah!" I smiled. "Have you read them? R.L. Stine is a genuinely talented author. I know they're just kids books, but the plots of the stories are actually pretty creepy! And the twists- god, you never see them coming! I can reread the series over and over again and not get bored. I've been a huge fan of them ever since I was very young."
He seemed oddly flattered by my ranting. "I see. R.L. Stine sounds like a real genius."
"Genius is an understatement- he's a visionary!" I gushed. "God, the things I'd do to get him to sign one of my books..."
The man smiled before seeming to remember something and frowning again. "That doll you found. Just... be careful. You should get rid of it. Trust me. It's dangerous."
Before I could respond, he turned and walked off. That was... odd. He was so flustered by me praising Stine, I'd almost think he was Stine. And why was he so scared by the idea of me owning the doll..? I shook my head and went back to stocking shelves.
"Jesus!" I gasped. I'd found the baby doll's head staring at me from one of the freezers.
🫀
"...And then he told me to get rid of you and just walked off before I could even say anything." I rambled to Slappy about the day I'd had. "Oh, and then I found that doll's head, just to make things worse. It was staring at me from the freezer door. Creepy as hell!"
He looked back at me with his bright green eyes. I could have sworn he was about to say something. I was about to walk over to him and pick him up when a loud THUD from my closet distracted me. I jumped and stared at the closet doors. I anxiously glanced at Slappy and then back at the closet. Slowly and anxiously, I walked over to the doors and threw them open. Out stepped a scrawny man with a choppy mullet and a chin-strap neck beard, a "Don't Tread On Me" shirt, some khaki shorts, and a MAGA hat. He reeked of cigarette smoke and cheap beer.
"Wh-what do you want!?" I failed to hide my fear. "Who are you!?"
And then I recognized him. The man who caused me to recently quit my job at Target. He'd been throwing the pride items onto the ground and called me slurs when I tried to make him stop. And now he was standing in my room. He must have been stalking me.
I nearly cried as I watched him lift a large hunting knife up, pointing it at me. Anxiously, I backed up.
He groaned and called me another homophobic slur. He was clearly intoxicated. He was about to swing at me when his shorts suddenly fell to his feet. Embarrassed, he tried to tug them up in his drunken state. I glanced behind him and nearly fainted- Slappy was glaring at him, and he was starting to stand up.
"What?" The man asked, glaring at me.
"Ahem." Slappy cleared his throat. As the man turned to him and stumbled in fear, the dummy went on. "Phew, you stink!"
"What the hell!?" The man shouted. He lifted his knife up, getting ready to strike.
"You're gonna leave us alone now." Slappy looked down at the man's feet and, as if on cue, the man tripped, landing directly onto his knife. He bled out onto my floor and choked on his own blood, trying to pull the knife from his throat.
Horrified, I looked up at Slappy. He seemed to smirk at me. "I think he got my point!" He said before laughing a laugh that could only be described as Slappy's laugh.
I looked at him, completely out of words, before grabbing my phone and dialing the police.
"You better not-" Slappy started.
"Shh- shut up!" I yelled as I heard a dispatcher answer the phone. "H-hello? Yeah, someone broke into my house trying to kill me and I think he was drunk and he tripped and landed on his own knife."
🫀
The cops had come and left, and I was in the clear. They'd called my previous boss who clarified that the man had verbally attacked me before and the cops found the open window he must have entered through. Now I was sitting at my dining table across from Slappy. I'd gotten myself some herbal tea to try to calm down.
"...Thank you for saving me." I finally said. "If you weren't there he probably would have killed me."
"Heheh, don't mention it." He responded. "That drunk idiot had it coming."
"So, you're really Slappy." I observed. "You're actually real."
"Real and charming." He bragged.
"How are you here!?" I asked. "If you really are Slappy, how come Priya and I found you buried in a playground!?"
He went on to explain to me that he broke out of a magic book and stayed with some kids before they had enough and buried him in the park earlier that day. He also didn't miss any opportunities to crack little jokes either. If it weren't for the fact that I was looking at a literal ventriloquist dummy talking to me, I probably wouldn't have believed any of it.
"...So that old Goosebumps 3Ds game..." I remembered.
"Autobiographical." Slappy confirmed.
"You didn't open any other books, did you?" I asked, starting to worry.
He just giggled his creepy little giggle. "Maybe I did, maybe I didn't."
"...Why haven't you killed me yet?" I asked.
"You said the words. Why would I kill you?" He reminded me. "You're my slave now."
"Right, right. You and I are one now." I sighed.
"Precisely." He nodded. "And for your first order, I'm gonna need you to find Stine for me."
"R.L. Stine!?" My eyes widened. "He's here!?"
"Yep." He confirmed. "And you met him today."
I looked at him for a moment in confusion before it dawned on me. "That man at Walmart!"
He nodded. "You're probably on his good side now after all that flattery."
I was so excited, I barely even processed anything else he said. "I have to get his autograph!!"
Slappy rolled his eyes. "Yeah, he's gonna love you."
I get to see my hero again!! I thought to myself. And this time I'll know it's him!! I have to get his autograph!
