Blue. Pink. Purple. Blue. Pink. Ughh.....
Soo beautiful, swirling, dancing colours....
Why did no one ever tell me getting high was actually this fucking good, I'd should have been getting high since I was born.
I had lost control of my body and was swaying with whatever tune my ears picked up. Sweaty bodies pressed everywhere but the smell had long gone. The suffocation felt good, it made me disappear into my own world. A world without her.
.
.
.
.
.
"YOU ARE A FUCKING LIAR! IF I'D HAVE KNOWN IT'D TAKE JUST ONE LOOK TO BREAK OUR PROMISE AND GO SUCK ANOTHER DICK, I'D NEVER HAVE TAKEN YOU TO THAT FUCKING PARTY GOD! AAAARGHH!"
I was seeing red and my hands were twitching to hit something, anything. I could feel the hair sticking on my palms. The pain from pulling them so hard was far better than the pain my heart was going through.
"I didn't mean to-" she started.
The fucking audacity...it made me laugh. The mere stupidity of the whole situation. So I did.
She stopped talking while I laughed hysterically. Her features contorted into a mix of shock and disbelief.
"..you, why are you laughing? .....what are you..."
I couldn't stop. I felt numb. I wasn't able to shed a single tear after all it wasn't I who broke the promise. The ring on my finger felt so fucking disgusting at that moment. I took it off and threw it back to the person who gave it to me and got myself together.
"Fuck off. I don't want to see you anymore."
My voice was coarse, and my throat felt like sandpaper. I daren't make eye contact so I looked anywhere but at her.
"...you are fucking overreacting, I swear-"
I took the nearest object. A book. The sound of it hitting the wall made her flinch.
"Go away" I whispered. I heard her sobs before the door slammed against the frame. As soon as she went away, my heart felt shattered. The mere thought of even having a little bit of feelings for that person disgusted me to the core.
I threw up many times that night before passing out while crying in the pillow, the residue of us being together in that room, wrecked from my anger.
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.
.
Spit in my face, my love, it won't phase me
Spit in my face, my love, it won't change me
Spit in my face, my love, I've gone crazy
Spit in my face, my love, I've gone mad
The song made me smirk.
"One more hit, Felix?"
I hummed and snorted whatever was offered to me. Maybe I had gone crazy after all.
