SOS: The Beginning

Chapter 1- Help!

SOS Forum

I began my third year at university in the engineering faculty this week. I thought everything would be practically the same except for me taking the role of head hazer after my senior but it didn't.

There was this junior who seemed hellbent in going against our orders and he....he even said he would make me his wife to obtain a gear in case he didn't earn one.

I don't know what to think or do! While I did react aggressively when it happened, when I was in my dorm that night I found myself not being....against the idea of becoming his wife or even having a relationship with him

What should I do?!

P.S. I am a guy, there was only been two female head hazers at my university and one of them seems to have been my junior's family member since they share the same last name

- PinkMilkMonster

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I will first begin with something from my past before I ask for help.

When I was 11, I was sexually assaulted by one of the men who worked for my father. I never got therapy or had anyone who really helped me overcome this since my father is...a bit old fashioned.

And as my username suggests I still deal with trauma from that day.

I know it is unfair but since I had no other outlet, I started hating any gays even if deep down I know they aren't all the same(and the men who violated me could even not be gay and just wish to have fun with a child not caring about gender). I just can't stop doing it and now that I live away from my parents(I'm in my first year of university in the Sports Medicine Faculty) I am afraid of going to therapy and dealing with my trauma(and reliving the memories of that day).

You might ask what this has to do with whatever I am going to ask, right?

Well, my father decided that during my first year I should live in the university's dorm to which I had no trouble with, until I met my roommate.

He is too good looking and super nice. I think I might be starting to like him but this scares me more than anything else, I fear I might do something stupid taking into account my trauma.

What should I do?

P.S. I wrote this while in a daze after a nightmare about my trauma, my dazed self has better writing skills than normal me

- TraumaIsABitch

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Am I an idiot?

Since high school(I'm in my first year of university in the Science Faculty) I have been in love with this guy and I can't just forget him(and I didn't even really try to).

I even tried to confess before he went to university(he is older than me) but I was heartbroken before I did it since I heard him tell his friends he would never date a guy.

You would think that would make me give up but my dumb self just decided to just follow him into university.

I have already seen him and he was mean(he didn't even recognize me!) since my father's workers had helped me with moving and called me 'young master'.