Tied to Another

Chapter 8- Chosen Family

   Izuku was happy he told Hitoshi about his problems. He liked having someone who listened and he could listen to, it was wonderful. He wondered if this was what friendship was supposed to be like. He decided he didn't care, because he and Hitoshi had been spending a lot more time together. Izuku got to meet Hitoshi's platonic soulmate and he was super happy for his friend. He started off with a nice soulmate. Sometimes Izuku wished he could say the same.

   He shook the thought off as he followed Kanamori-chan and Hitoshi as they walked through town. He felt kind of lonely even though he knew they didn't mean to make him feel excluded. It was nice having another person as your soulmate, probably. A friend you could rely on that you didn't necessarily have to constantly live with. He felt a prickle of resentment towards himself and Bakugo but he quickly shot it down. He didn't deserve to be hated by himself. He would probably end up all he had again.

   He wondered momentarily how Kirishima was doing in the relationship. He wasn't having as miserable a time as Izuku had and sometimes he felt a bit jealous. Those were the times he needed a Moment to breath and remind himself he was worthy of gentle treatment and respect, and Bakugo was never going to give him either of those things and he wasn't worth the effort. 

   Sometimes he resented his mom for always being away, he'd take a Moment for those times as well. He had to remind himself it wasn't financially possible for her to be home, that his dad was the bad parent for leaving, and his mother did her best. Sometimes when he talked to her he felt she didn't know him at all. It took her almost two years of him constantly calling Bakugo his soulmate to realize they were tied. It took her almost a month to figure out he'd stopped eating properly and longer than both of those combined to figure out he wasn't straight. He often talked nonstop to her, but she never knew many of his interests, it was a large portion as to why he had so much hero merch. He understood it was excessive.

   He had to take a quick moment with Hitoshi and Kanamori to let the past die again. He also took a moment to realize how far he'd come since he cut his string almost a month prior. He let himself feel proud of his work, all the effort he put into righting wrongs was worth it. He was happier. A lot happier.

   He watched Kanamori and Hitoshi chatter for a moment before veering off to slip into a public bathroom. He propped himself against a sink and stared into his eyes and thought about what he was feeling. It wasn't... good, but it had it's reasons and he needed to take a Moment to just feel. He stared into mirror Izuku's eyes until he felt tears prick at his own. He broke eye contact momentarily to wipe at his eyes before going back to staring at his upset face.

   It was okay, there wasn't anything to be upset about, but he still was. He splashed a bit of water on his face when he started properly crying and he spoke softly to himself words of encouragement. 

   "Okay, Izuku. What are you feeling?" He murmured gently, pinning his gaze to his own eyes. "I feel like I'm being abandoned again, though I know it's just because Kanamori-chan and Hitoshi haven't seen each other in a while and they're just catching up. It feels like I'm being pushed away." He sighed softly and rubbed at his teary eyes. "And that's okay. I'm not okay right now, and it will be okay. I just need to take a Moment." Izuku shut his eyes and began humming his favorite song, softly and gently, soothingly.

   He stood there for a few minutes, eyes closed and calming down. It will be okay, he told himself repeatedly. His breathing eventually returned to normal and he stopped crying. Izuku gently rubbed at his eyes, looking into Mirror Izuku's softly. "See," He hummed, washing his hands and splashing water on his face. "We're fine. It will be okay. Today just isn't our day"

   After a few seconds of taking a Moment, he left the bathroom and walked to a coffee shop, texting Hitoshi to let him know where he'd gone. He ordered something small to eat and drink and sat down, just existing. He was okay, and just existing was okay. It was all going to be okay. He basked in the feeling in just existing for a moment before he heard the ding of the door and two people calling his name.

   "Midoriya!"

   "Izuku," Hitoshi bounded over, looking concerned, with a significantly more distressed Kanamori. "Are you okay?"

   "You can't just... run off like that!"

   "Did we make you feel unwelcome?"

   "I'm so sorry! We didn't mean to!"

   Izuku just sat there, looking at the duo fondly as they fussed over him. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to worry you, I just needed a moment alone." He huffed a small laugh, watching them as they sat down at the booth.

   "If we ever make you feel uncomfortable or isolated-"

   "Anything negative really," Kanamori interrupted, leaning over the table. "tell us! We'll do better!"

   "I'm sorry I worried you," Izuku mumbled before taking a sip of his coffee, momentarily avoiding meeting their eyes. "I didn't want to interrupt or get in the way... it wasn't my intention to-"

   "It's okay, Midoriya." Izuku watched Kanamori sit back down and have a quick nonverbal argument with Hitoshi before he grumbled something and glared at the ceiling. "We're sorry we made you feel like that. We'll do better."

   "Maybe next time," Hitoshi quickly said as to not get interrupted. "we bring Mitsumu along."

   "No! She'd eat him alive!" Kanamori immediately shot back, with an intent look.

   Izuku shivered at the thought, not really knowing what exactly she meant. He watched them bicker amused and occasionally joined in. It almost felt like a family, and the thought made Izuku smile. It was okay.