MEME BATTLE ROYALE

CHAPTERS 4-6

If you're just coming off of chapters 1-3, why not take a break? But keep in mind, the story waits for no one.

CHAPTER: 4 THE LOCAL MAFIA

  
The Dark was a place that resided just beneath Bad Island, where the tournament was taking place. It was once only known by the Scumbagian people, but has recently become a popular locale where only the dirtiest of deeds were committed. Drugs, alcohol, drugs, and even alcohol were commonly distributed here. Though usually filled exclusively with angsty teens passing around the community vape, the local Mafia made it their primary base of operations for the tournament. Fries described all of this to his comrade Test, as they entered the joint themselves. It was a truly nasty place, filled with truly nasty things. So nasty that Fries couldn't even bear to continue describing them, so he just imagined a cliche pirate port town but underground. He wouldn't have to imagine that for long though, for they had reached their destination on the right. Since most of the memes were fighting each other to the death above, it was a mostly empty town, except for the mafia base just up ahead. It was completely inconspicuous to an untrained eye, but Fries managed to make out the giant glowing red arrow floating above the seemingly small shack.
    The two made their way inside, and down the stairs that seemed to have been built quite recently, haphazardly at that, "Man, I haven't been this frightened since I was trapped in Andrew Carnegie's rumpus room!" Test said shakily. After blj-ing to the bottom of the stairs, they found themselves in an unusually large room, even larger than Fries's mother. But there they were, the local Mafia, all gathered around. Big ones, small ones, even some about the size of Test's head. But they instantly knew who the leader of the bunch was. He was dressed in a quite fashionable suit, neon green tie and all. But most importantly, he had the words "Level: 46" above his head.
  Fries took it upon himself to greet the imposing mad lad himself, "Greetings Sir, we have come to inquire about this funny little key!" The whole group instantly turned in disgust, muttering among themselves on who let these two rat-like individuals into their base. The level 48 leader folded his arms, then spoke: "Ah yes, so you're the two rebel delinquents who raided that Area: 51 base huh? I'm impressed, but if you wanna know what that key does, you'll have to fight me to the death; the story could really use some action tbh." Without saying a word, Fries readied his fighting stance, and so did the Level 50 Boss, who to Test's surprise, seemed to have leveled up four times by merely speaking. The Boss charged towards him, fist clenched, Fries prepared to take the blow. But then he remembered he had a gun, the Glookin-21, so he naturally whipped that thang out: "POW POW POW BANG BOOM" and pumped that sucka full of lead before he could even scream. The rest of the mafia group cheered, "YAY, THAT GUY WAS SO UNFUNNY AND CRINGE, thank gosh for the second amendment!" and another shouted "Well, I guess you're our new leader now eh?" Fries realized that he now had the full might, or lack thereof, of the local Mafia. He also realized that he just unloaded his magazine into the one man who knew what that strange key was for. But this was perfectly fine, since he knew what it was inside him all along. Test was horrified, though, "Fries?! That was inappropriate, and violent! How could you do such a thing?!" Fries simply ignored him, as he so often did, and prepared his new Mafia Gang for battle.
   Somehow, Fries knew exactly where he needed to go next, the corrupt government had a mothership, and inside that mothership was a dark entity. That entity most certainly orchestrated this meme death match, and that entity would pay with their blood. Fries wasn't sure how he knew all of this, perhaps the Force was with him, but it was probably just lazy writing. But one mystery still remained, what exactly was the key for? Was it for anything at all? Was chapter 3 just to pad out this book? Neither Fries nor Test could figure it out, but they were sure the answers would be found on that mothership. But how would they get there... hmmmm...

CHAPTER 4:2 HOW GET MOTHERSHIP??

This really shouldn't be a chapter, but I- Fries and Test I mean, really couldn't pass up how good things ended off there in chapter 4, so naturally, if chapter 4 was so good, where's chapter 4:2? So I present to you, Chapter 4:2. Enjoy.
So, Fries and Test began planning out the battle that would probably occur on the mothership. They didn't know what kind of defenses would be there, or how many, but they wanted to do something with the stockpile of off-brand plastic building block toys the Mafia had, so they constructed a scale model of the mothership, which nobody actually knew what it looked like, so they just built their favorite sci-fi spacecraft instead. But something was off, and it wasn't just the stench of The Dark, or the quality of the bricks they were using. No, something nefarious was most definitely afoot. Only a few moments later, that nefarious being burst right through the cave ceiling of The Dark, and smashed into the ground below, leaving a sizable crater. Test immediately spoke out of turn, per the usual, "GEE WIZ! Is that a giant obese rabbit? Or are you just happy to see me, Fries?!"
  The main character, Fries, grimaced, and drew his signature Glookin-21, which was down to the spare magazine. He then turned to address his new comrades, "My fellow Scumbagians, today we fight for freedom, and, and, and, uh," before he could finish his inspirational message the Mafia Gang roared in applause. This applause unfortunately drowned out the blood curdling screams of one of the members, Wizard Jim, who had just been eaten by the obese rabbit.  Which was actually the creature's first name mind you, so don't get the wrong idea, I would never body shame anyone.
   However, this obese rabbit required human flesh for vitamins and nutrients, so it began swallowing the Mafia Gang members one by one. "I have to put a stop to this, NOW!" Fries yelled to the creature, which clearly didn't understand human language. He began firing off round after round, careful to follow the gun safety instructions his dad taught him, just a few days before he left. But it was a futile effort, for every, "BANG BANG POW GUN SHOOT," there was also a, "NUM YUM NUM GULP BURP," from the monster. Test, realizing this, decided to try one of the old canons that were mounted onto the roof of every house. These had always been there of course, but Test hadn't bothered acknowledging them in the previous chapter as they weren't necessary to the plot until right now.
   So after Test barked out some cool sounding orders, the Mafia Gang climbed up and loaded the canons, preparing to fire. Fries, however, understood the importance of climactic tension in a good story, and made sure that it wouldn't be lost in this scene: "WAIIIIITTT FOR IT, WAAAAAAAAIIIITTTT FORRRR IITTT, HOLD ON, NOT YET... OK NOW! *explosion*" The canons erupted in unison, hurling giant balls of fire towards the Obese Rabbit. Which blew out all of its vital organs three times over, causing it to collapse on the spot.
   Everyone watched in anticipation, and Test asked fries worryingly, "You sure it's dead? I think we were supposed to go for the back of the neck..." Fries simply rolled his eyes as he caught Test's wink towards the camera. Although they had lost many a member of the Mafia Gang, and just as many families would be mourning their untimely deaths, Fries was just happy that this obvious filler chapter had finally concluded.