Mercy In You (Dave Gahan x Alan Wilder)

8. Hourglass

Four days later, February 8th 1993, 8:15am, the house:

Without Alan, Dave felt loneliness and heartache to no end. He had spent his days excessively calling Alan's number, only to be sent to voicemail on every attempt. If not entirely ignored, a prerecorded message answered, but he found listening to his ex-partner's voice saying he would soon call back to be a strong punch in his gut. Perhaps, Andy was right, he thought to himself like that of a broken record player; he should have pleaded for him to stay, instead of so easily allowing him to walk away and leave him in the dark.
Less than one week had passed since their split, and yet Dave felt as though it had been an eternity. As time wore onward, he deteriorated in both mental and physical health. He could no longer bring himself to shower, to brush his teeth or hair. To eat or even to sleep; he forced those chores upon himself in the best interests of his unborn babies, but it seemed he had tried deficiently, for his weight began to lower. Each time he looked in the bathroom mirror, he noticed he was becoming progressively disproportionate. His face, arms and legs were thinning, but the now identifiable growth of his belly was consistent; through his pain, it failed to occur to him that, although the bump had not dwindled in its small size, it had furthermore not grown to any degree.
At daybreak, the shrill sound of the telephone ringing from the dining room startled Dave into consciousness, and he practically fell out of bed and down the stairs in the hopefulness that Alan would be waiting on the other line for him to pick up.
But he would quickly be broken-hearted all over again.
"Hello, is this David?"
It was Amy from the Antental Care Unit, speaking sweetly.
"Yeah, erm-" Dave yawned and dragged his hand down his face, desperately trying to mask his disappointment. "Hello."
"Good morning, David, this is Amy speaking; I just wanted to give you a call as a follow-up from your appointment with me last month, as I have been informed of your little scare you had this past week. How are you doing now?"
He didn't know how to answer her, for he didn't know how he was truly doing.
"Well, the symptoms have cleared up okay."
"They have? That's great to hear. I was also told you were found to be having twins, is that correct?"
"Yes, it is."
"Well I never! My sincerest congratulations to you. I can't imagine the joy you and your partner must be feeling."
The words the doctor had just articulated, though they had only the kindest intentions, packed an even more powerful punch for Dave, and his eyes welled with tears.
"We're not together anymore." He revealed to her, moving one hand to his upper abdomen as to control his breaths and not let out a sob.
Amy fell quiet on the other line, leaving Dave to listen to the crackling static whilst she conjured up a response.
"Pardon?" Her voice returned thereafter.
"We've split up."
"Good God... I'm extremely sorry for my inconsideration."
"It's OK; it's not your fault, you didn't know."
"If you don't mind me asking, is there a reason for your split?"
"We just argued far too much. It's as simple as that." He sniffled. "But our friend was involved in an incident over the weekend that badly injured him and he's still in the hospital now. Alan, that's his name, by the way-"
"I remember."
"Didn't tell me what had happened to him because his incident and mine just so happened to clash. It wasn't a choice, he just forgot - I'll give him that, but we still got into the probably the most intense argument we'd ever had. I cried myself to sleep but, next morning, we couldn't resolve things and we just fought again. So, it's over now. For good."
"Oh my," Amy sighed. "My heart is very heavy for you at this time, David. Do you think you will both be able to stay on civil terms?"
"Probably not." He claimed. "He's moved out now. I couldn't stop him."
"Has he been in contact with you?"
"Nope. I might as well be dead to him. I really do feel like I'm dying."
Once more left at a loss for words, Amy's nails audibly tapped against a surface for a significance of time. She then inhaled lightly before becoming vocal again.
"Have you... Still been able to look after yourself? It's terribly important, especially because of your pregnancy."
"I've been trying my hardest for them, my twins. But I'm barely surviving, to be honest. And," He swallowed, reluctant to proceed. "I think I'm losing weight again."
"Oh?" The doctor's voice brimmed with concern. "How much weight do you think you've lost?"
"I'm not sure. Maybe ten pounds?"
"Right. And what do you think has caused this weight loss?"
"I feel sad all the time and I don't have an an appetite. I haven't really been eating."
"That is wholly understandable when you have suffered a bereavement such as the ending of a relationship. However, it does worry me very much that you believe you may have lost up to ten pounds. When I weighed you last month, you were only a hundred and twenty. And what I want is for you to be gaining weight during your pregnancy, or at least maintaining your current one. What about your abdominal area? Have you noticed any changes there?"
"Oh, definitely - like, it's really not that obvious because it's still early; I'm not even three months in yet but, to me, it's way bigger than it would be normally."
"So, you haven't lost any weight around there."
"No."
"That's a good sign. Is it more your face, then?"
"Yeah, and my arms and legs."
"Okay. Bear with me a moment; I just need to make a note of that."
Dave shortly heard her clicking a pen before writing onto a solid notepad.
"Would it be possible for you to come down to the unit to see me today? I am booked up with appointments this morning, but I do have some to spare in the afternoon and I would just like to examine you and check that all is well."
Leaving the house was the last activity Dave wanted to do, but he knew that Amy's request was sensible.
"The one thing Alan didn't take with him was the car, so I can do that, yes. What time, though?"
"Is 1:45pm OK?"
"I should think so."
"Perfect; I shall see you then. I have a patient to collect from the waiting room, so I'll say bye for now. But don't hesitate to give the unit a call back should something come up meaning you're unable to attend your appointment, or there be some other kind of problem that you'd like us to know about." The doctor spoke caringly.
"I don't think there'll be any problems, but thank you; I will do if I need to."
"Alright, take care."
"You too, bye."
Instantly as the line went dead, he burst into tears and sunk down into a chair. The palms of his hands covered his eyes as he wept and his tears fell so heavily that they began to gradually pool on the tablecloth. He cried until his nose bled, until his eye ducts grew unequipped to produce any more tears.
Until he heard Foxie leap onto the table, thus he at last removed his hands from his eyes to see what it was she was doing.
She stood staring at him, extending her head towards him and sniffing his hair timidly.
"Foxie," He whimpered and put his hand out for her to lick, for he found comfort in the sensation of her gristly and leather-like tongue brushing against his skin. "You're my good girl."
Beginning to purr, Foxie took a sitting position in front of her owner and allowed him to embrace her and continue bawling, though no more tears were shed. She purred voluminously as an attempt to comfort him and rubbed her head against his, knowing he was ailing mentally and physically. They abided as they were until Dave felt he could move again.
"I should really pull myself together. So stupid, sitting here crying my eyes out like that." He groaned and stood up, desirous to dry his eyes and blow his nose in the bathroom. Before he took his leave from the room, he stroked Foxie down the length of her body and kissed her on her head.