An introvert reader. An online writer. A nostalgic short story.
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An introvert fanboy develops a crush to his favorite online writer, who doesn't even know his existence. Instead of following her on her social media accounts, sending her long swee...
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Dear Calliope,
Ngayong araw 'yong second day ng book signing sa Davao. Napilitan akong sumama dahil kung hindi, si Mama ang sasama kay Ate at maiiwan akong mag-isa sa bahay.
Actually, kahapon pa kami nandito pero late na kaming dumating kaya nag-decide si Ate na hanapin na lang muna namin ang bahay nina Tito dito sa Davao. Pinayagan kami ni Mama na pumunta rito dahil nga sa dito rin nakatira sina Tito Daniel, kapatid ni Mama. At the same time, malapit lang naman din ang bahay nina Tito sa mall kung saan gaganapin ang book signing event.
"Bakit ngayon lang kayo? Hindi na tuloy tayo makaka-abot sa first 100-person para sa 50% off discount ng selected books," Ate April scolded after opening the gate for us.
"Eto kasi eh, kaasar," paninisi sa akin ni Ate.
"Anong ako? Ikaw nga 'tong--!"
"Hep, hep! Mamaya na kayo mag-away. Pumasok muna tayo sa loob."
Sabi ko na nga ba at sisisihin na naman ako ni Ate. Hindi ko na lang siya pinansin at sumunod na lang ako kay Ate April, anak ni Tito Daniel. Buti na lang din at wala sa bahay sina Tito at Tita dahil ang pinaka-ayaw ko sa lahat ay ang pangangamusta.
I mean, I really don't like talking to elders with lies. Saying everything was okay and pretending to be a good person in front of them were the things I hate the most.
Madalas naman akong sumasama kay Ate sa mga book signing event pero lagi pa rin akong na-a-amaze sa venue, sa mga writer at books nila, at maging sa mga reader na maaga pa lang ay nakapila na. Yung iba nga, naka-color coding pa ang mga damit. Malalaman mo kaagad kung sino ang idol nilang writer dahil sa mga style ng pananamit nila. Thanks for their idol's influence.
Magkakasunod kami ngayon nina Ate at Ate April sa pila. Hindi ko naman talaga balak pumasok dito dahil nga alam kong hindi rin kita makikita pero sinubukan ko pa rin. Nagbabakasali na makita kita. Pero ayaw talaga ng tadhana.
Buti na lang at fan si Ate ng romcom at teen fiction stories kaya sa may lane kami ni hersaint nakapila. According to my research, si hersaint ang pinakamadalas mong kasama outside. Madalas kayong mag-date sa mga coffee shop. Siya rin ang pinaka-close mo sa social media, lalo na sa chat group ninyo.
I was too desperate to the point na binabalak kong itanong kay Ate hersaint kung sumama ka ba sa event na 'to. Nag-practice na ako ng speech sa isip ko kung paano ko makukuha ang attention niya para lang malaman ang sagot sa tanong ko kaso amputik, nabulol pa rin ako.
"H-hi . . . pwede po bang magtanong?" Anak ng tokwa naman oh. Umayos ka nga, self!
"Sure, ano 'yon?" she answered, smiling.
With all my courage and energy left inside my body, I tried to look calm and relax. Gusto ko sanang ibulong na lang sa kanya dahil baka marinig pa ng iba at magmukha pa akong ewan sa harap nila. Nakakahiya dahil maraming sikat na writers and active readers na nandito.
When I was about to whisper my question, a sudden reaction from her made me froze.
"No kiss allowed, young man," she scolded and suddenly stood up, gaining the attention of people around us.
"W-what?!" I stuttered, hoping that I misheard things.
What happened next was definitely the worst. I was forced to leave the event because of that misunderstanding. Naging mabilis ang mga pangyayari at hindi ko namalayan na pinapalabas na pala ako mula sa venue. Nakakahiya. Gusto kong i-explain ang side ko pero para saan pa? The damage has been done. Pero ang mas malala at nakakainis, instead na samahan ako ni Ate at ipagtanggol, pinagtawanan pa niya ako together with Ate April.
"Binata na talaga ang pinsan ko," Ate April joked, tapping my left shoulder.
"Akala ko ba si calliope lang? Playboy ka na rin ngayon?" natatawang saad ni Ate.
Dahil ayoko ng madagdagan pa ang kahihiyang dinanas ko, hindi na rin ako nagpumilit pa at umalis na lang ako. Dumeretso ako sa pinakamalapit na comfort room para kumalma. Aminado naman akong cute ako pero mukha ba talaga akong manyak? Anak ng pancit naman! Kainis!
Pagdating ko banyo, naghilamos agad ako para mapakalma ang sarili ko. Hindi ko na kasi namalayan na nanginginig na pala ang kamay ko dahil sa inis at hiya. I keep facing myself on the mirror. Naka-ilang mura na rin ako. Buti na lang at mag-isa lang ako sa banyo.
Few minutes later, nang kumalma na ako ay pumunta ako sa isang coffee shop para mas masigurado na kalmado na nga ako. Pagpasok ko, I immediately ordered my favorite drink. After that, nang matawag na ang number ko, kinuha ko naman ang order ko and sat down to the vacant seat at the corner. Buti na lang at malamig sa pwesto na 'to para mas ma-relax pa ako.
But suddenly, a strange yet familiar face came into view. Right here, in front of me.
"Can I sit here?"
"Y-you--"
I rubbed my right eyes twice using my right hand just to confirm if I was really seeing you, while my left index finger was still pointed to the person who was standing in front of me. I thought my imagination just got leveled up until you called my name.
"Mr. Reyes, right?" you asked, confirming if I was the right person you were talking to.
Instead of an answer, I just nodded in return because I was too speechless. Did I just freeze? Why my mind wasn't working that time? Or maybe, I was just hallucinating things? Hindi rin nakakatulong ang katapat kong aircon. Mas lalo lang akong nilamig. Hindi ko alam kung bakit bigla na lang nawala 'yong pagiging kalmado ko. Dahil pa ba 'to sa lamig o dahil sa drinks na in-order ko . . . o dahil sa'yo?
"It's me, calliope."
"Shesh! I'm definitely not dreaming," I mumbled to myself.
"Definitely not," you reassured, smiling.
What the ef! Fix yourself, U!
I even spoke to myself. Crazy, right?
"About earlier, Alison-- I mean, hearsaint have experienced--"
So, hersaint's real name was Alison. How about you? Can you tell me your real name? Can you now answer the questions I've been keeping on my head? Can I take a picture with you? Can I--
"Hey, kid."
My thoughts jarred back to the present as soon as you snapped your fingers in front of me, getting my attention. Wait, did I just space out?
"Sorry, I got just star struck."
Instead of saying anything, you just laughed. Wait, did you just laugh?
Hindi talaga ako nagsisisi na sumama ako kay Ate all the way here. I should thank hersaint also for the misunderstanding earlier. My intention and her expectation were completely different but it led me to finally meet you.
Dati, pinapangarap lang kitang makita in person but that day, I got my hope to finally meet and talk to you in person. Marami akong tanong na gusto kong itanong sa'yo pero hindi ko alam kung paano ko sisimulan. I'm just nothing but a complete stranger.
I am just a fan boy after all. At silent reader pa talaga.
Up until now, I was still out of words and can't find one. Maybe, I was too lost during our first meet. Maybe, meeting you unexpectedly made me out of words, too.
But one thing was sure. I think, I was not really destined to found you because, perhaps, you were destine to find me.
