Javier's Chico

13.

"I cannot believe you would do something as foolish as killing Colm's brother." Hosea and Dutch had been partners for a long time, and never in that time had Dutch put everyone in danger the way that he did.

"I was putting an end to this ridiculous situation we have with the O'Driscolls."

"Really? It never once occurred to you that we are responsible for what happens to our gang? Annabelle is gone, Dutch, because of your arrogance." The arguing had been going on all night. At the campfire, when everyone was eating, and now when everyone was trying to sleep.

"I know, I've listened to you say the same thing all damn night. I'll think of something."

Hosea's eyes narrowed. He'd always been the fatherly figure of the two, he raised John and Arthur, and now there were younger gang members he felt immediately protective over. "And the boy? Would you have been okay if Colm got to Javier's boy? We are responsible for each and every member, and right now, we should not be stirring up trouble with Javier's son around."

"Mateo is no one's responsibility except Javier's and I am sick of hearing it! If he thinks Mateo is anyone else's responsibility then he is a fool."

"But if Mateo was killed in that fighting, who's fault would that be?" Javier had listened to these men argue, tossing Mateo's name around. He knew Mateo was no one else's responsibility, he never wanted anyone to take responsibility over his son.

Dutch went quiet. The commotion was loud enough that Mateo was struggling to drift off. He was so frightened of what happened, he was clinging to Javier all while he was trying to get him to sleep. It was just like being back home when their house was raided by the army looking for Javier, how Javier went outside with guns while Mateo cried hiding under his abuelita's bed. And that day was the day Javier grabbed as much food as he could, put Mateo on his back and left.

John was recovering from his gunshot wound in Javier's tent, it was one of the biggest and most private ones in camp, it was close by everything too in case he needed anything. His fingers ran through Mateo's curls, trying to soothe him while Javier sung quietly. It seemed to be working enough for him to get tired, but he was still so tense and his grip on Javier wasn't loosening.

"I don't know what to do.." Javier confessed. He'd never felt so lost and trapped before. He just wanted somewhere safe for his boy to go but nowhere here seemed safe. "I'm so scared for my son.."

"I know, Javi." John squeezed Javier's arm, unable to get to his hands because he was holding onto the little boy. The pet name scared Javier a little, but he paid little to no attention to it.

"At least when I was in Mexico, I knew I could run to America. But now I don't feel he is safe here." Canada was an option, but it was even further than Mexico. They barely survived that journey.

"This little guy is gonna grow up, he's gonna be the finest gunslinger around, or maybe he'll be an artist. He will grow up and have a future, I promise you."  It was a nice thought, to think about his young boy all grown up, out of this mess. For now, this would have to do.

"You can't promise anything, not after what just happened. I could've lost him.." Javier was nearly crying. He never let himself be this vulnerable but he couldn't imagine having to bury his own son, just like Arthur did.

"Dutch...he's just...he's a good guy. He just don't really think before he does crap like that.."

"If I die, will you look after him?"

"I ain't gonna answer that. You ain't gonna die."

But he pleaded and pleaded, gripping John's arms and looking right into his eyes. He needed some sort of comfort, a promise, that Mateo would be okay if Javier was killed. He was fine with dying if it meant Mateo was safe, "Please, I just need you to say it. I see soldiers break into my home and nearly find my son. They were going to hurt him to get to me. Promise if something happens to me, you'll raise him for me?"