School of Good and Evil II

Chapter 42

I spend the rest of the ball curled up, my head buried in my knees, arms around my legs, sitting against a wall outside the ballroom. The vibrations of the music making my heart tremble, destroyed in my chest. I can hear Leonie coming towards me but she finaly change her mind. The music gets louder for a moment before it's muffled again. She's gone back into the room. A few minutes later, Dovey strides in and crouches beside me.

- I'm sorry, Ava. Come on. You need to rest.

I get up, exhausted, and follow her into the hallways. She takes me to a empty dormitory and lets me settle in.

- If you need anything, I'm here, okay?

I nod and she starts to leave when I ask:

- Clarissa?

- I've ruined everything, haven't I?

Her pained look tells me more than she's willing to. I fall back on my bed.

- Everything's going to be all right, Ava, I'm sure of it.

Her hand goes to the door handle but she doesn't come out.

- You know, Leonie really seems to like you. She worries about you.

- But the woman I love doesn't want to hear from me anymore. I breathe.

Dovey seems surprised to hear me say these words.

- I didn't think you .. .

I shake my head, another tear rolling down my cheek. She steps forward to wipe it away and takes off my heels so that I can lie down. I do so, sobbing. She stays by my side, gently caressing my hair, until I fall asleep. I don't even hear her leave the room.

The next day was one of the worst days of my life. Lesso avoids me, doesn't speak to me, doesn't even look at me. Anemone advises me to let a little time pass before trying to talk to her, but I'm feeling worse and worse. Leonie tries to work things out with me, but I refuse to talk to her unless it's professional. My lessons are a disaster and the teachers me feel it at advice meetings. But I don't have the strength. But how can I when my heart's broken and there's nothing I can do to fix things ? I bear in silence Leonora's confessions, her silent suffering, and it kills me.

One night, I'm awakened by footsteps, too loud and numerous to be those of a single dormitory. So I get up and leave my room. Once in the corridor, I hear voices from behind a closed door, revealing a trickle of light. I move forward slowly, my bare feet on the wooden floor not making the slightest sound. I can't hear what is being said, students are whispering. But they're moving and their socked footsteps echo on the wooden floor. I open the door to surprise them. There are about twenty students in this room, all in a circle, the Never and the Ever together. At the center of their circle stands Bastian. When he sees me he freezes.

- Can you tell me what's going on here? I ask in a loud voice that echoes through the silent room.

With a gesture from Bastian, the group disperses. Almost everyone leaves the room, and those whose dormitory it is return to their beds. None of them answers me, and almost none of them look at me. Too outraged to rule right away, I manage to get moving to follow Bastian out into the corridor. I close the door behind me and call out to him:

- Bastian. Come here.

He turns to me. His cheeks are hollowed. He was skinny before, but now I'm seriously worried. His green eyes are fixed on me with remarkable intensity.

- Yes, Miss Ava? Do you finally have time for me? He asks in a light but somewhat hoarse voice.

I suddenly feel terribly guilty. I'd completely forgotten. And I know how much it hurts when you're alone, in pain and no one's listening. I move slowly towards him..

- I'm sorry, Bastian. I haven't been there for you, even though I told you I would be. But now I'm here. What's happening to you?

He shakes his head with a reproving click of his tongue. His aplomb leaves me unmoved as he says in a cavernous voice:

- Oh no Miss .. . did you think you'd decide when I'd speak? It's too late for that. No, you haven't been here. And you'll will pay the consequences.

- What are you talking about? I ask, suddenly worried.

- You'll find out soon enough. This school does need a change, you were right. But you're obviously too preoccupied to take care of it yourself. Good night Miss Ava.

I don't have time to reply before he transforms into a young grey swan and flies out of the building. What the hell was that?!

My first instinct is to run towards Lesso's office. But halfway there I change my mind. I can't talk to her about this. And she won't listen to me anyway. I've got to go and talk to Leonie. But I don't want to. I can't look her in the eyes without my heart pinching painfully. She's hurt me too much. Nor can I go to Dovey, who would worry too much. My steps finally lead me to Anemone's room. I knock forcefully against the door. A few minutes later she emerges, still drowsy. Before she can say anything, I explain everything that's happened. In that moment, and only then, do we go into the tower to wake up Leonie. We explain the situation to her, and she's obviously not taking it lightly. Following our discussion, she asks Anemone to fetch the boy. But as I begin to follow the beauty teacher towards the exit, she closes the door with her magic.

- Ava wait. We need to talk, please.