(Cloud Strife x Reader x Rufus Shinra) A Bolt from the Blue

Chapter 20 - Childhood memories (NSFW)

You lie in bed, mind reeling from the eventful day. You insisted on going home and so Rufus drove you himself in one of his sports cars. You thank him for the dinner and for the lift back as you begin to get out of the car. Rufus stops you as you reach for the door handle.

"Did you mean it? That you'll give me a chance?"

You blush and nod, gazing at him shyly through your lashes. He looks pleased and relieved as he leans over to the passenger side of the car. You think he was aiming for a kiss on the lips but you subtly turn and offer him your cheek instead which he graciously accepts.

Saying goodnight, he bids you farewell and drives away into the night as you stand on your own doorstep watching his car get smaller and smaller. Once inside, you change, wash up as quickly as you can and fall into bed. Your mind and body spent after the day you have had. You are not sure if you did the right thing by not closing off Rufus' hopes completely. You tried to let him down gently but you seem to be harbouring feelings for him you did not know existed, let alone understand. The kiss took you by surprise too, the thought of getting so carried away makes you cringe and pull the covers above your head as if that can help eradicate the embarrassment of your perceived actions earlier.

Coming up for air, you realise the reason for being so mentally drained is due to the fact that every waking minute has been spent keeping Cloud out from your thoughts. Now that you are in the privacy of your own home and drifting off into the land of sleep, your mind wanders past the mental barriers you had consciously built around the Ex-SOLIDER.

You wonder how Cloud is doing, whether your leaving is hurting him as much as it is hurting you. Whether he has this persistent overwhelming dull pain in his stomach which makes him want to curl up in a ball and scream into a pillow. Whether his thoughts play on repeat over times spent together. And finally whether he is able to process the confusing myriad of emotions and missing simpler times gone by.

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The days turn into a week and the weeks turn into a month since you bid farewell to Cloud and your new friends. You had never noticed the monotony of your days before your adventure in the undercity. You returned to work at your executive managerial position in Shinra Urban Development, directly working under the Director. Reeve was happy to have you back but you noticed he was having more and more meetings with the President and the board. Also that whenever he returned from those meetings he would be in a brooding, quiet mood.

Scarlet was furious at you for turning down Rufus' marriage proposal. It was probably the most she had ever spoken to you in one go when she gave you an animated lecture about being ungrateful and that you had better make it up to him soon. The rants she subjected you to were getting so out of hand, you suspect Rufus had a word with her to say that there is still hope in your nuptials as after a while, your aunt simmered back down to having minimal contact with you again.

Rufus is keen to spend as much time with you as possible. When you are not working, you would be hanging out with him. There is a slight feeling of guilt as you now know without a doubt what his feelings towards you are. However, you remind yourself that the two of you are foremost friends above anything else and you have always found understanding in each other; being in similar circumstances with detached and heartless bordering on callous treatment from both your respective relatives - you with your aunt and Rufus with his estranged father. Since childhood the two of you had found something in each other to hold onto. You are each other's only physical and mental support in the whole of Gia, while navigating the unknown road of the responsibilities you were both born into.

Your free time is spent talking to Rufus about nothing in particular; him taking you to visit the newest Midgar hang outs and restaurants and; lazy evenings walking Darkstar as the sun sets. However, even though you slip back into your old routine, Rufus can tell something is off. He appreciates your company but even though you are there in person, he can tell your mind is far away with the new foreign look that now often resides in your eyes.