Bill kaulitz One-Shots

Car Accident (GN) (Angst)

"I just feel like you don't have enough time for me, I feel like you are distancing yourself from me." [Name] said their voice numb of emotion

We and my partner had been arguing while I had to drive them to airport since they had an amazing opportunity to work in the uk for a few months.

"I've been working hard for the past couple of weeks so I can put out the new album soon." I said kind of annoyed

"Well sorry I want time with my boyfriend once in a while." [name] said crossing their arms leaning against the door

"Well I want someone who can understand that I work in the music industry. I told you my music always comes first." I said gripping the steering wheel giving [Name] a dirty look

"Really your going to choose music over your partner of four years?" [name] said raising their voice a bit.

"Well I told you my music is very important to me." I said not realizing that the light was red and as we drove across the intersection a 16 wheeler t-boned [name] side of the car.

It caused us to crash and flip on the top of the car. My vision slowly turned black...

As I gained consciousness I turned to see [name] with their head cut up and blood dripping down the side of their head.

The sight was obscene. It almost made me sick to see them in this state. No one helped as I struggled out of the car I saw many people scared but just watching, some called for help but no one tried to help [name]

I rushed to [name]s side of the car and tried to open the door but it wasn't budging so I tried to reach for them through the broken side window but ended up cutting my hand.

Once the ambulance got here so did paparazzi. The flashing lights as they pulled away [name]. They looked pale and bruised. It was painful to look at. Reporters shoved cameras in my face as I pushed them away and got into the ambulance and drove to the hospital.

I waited but not for long until they came to me in the waiting room. I now had bandages covering my not so bad wounds when they came out.

I jumped up hoping that they had good news that [name] was going to be just fine. "What's happening? Are they okay?!" I asked waving my hands like a lunatic

The doctor only gave me a sad shake of the head before he spoke in a sullen tone. "I'm sorry...they didn't make it." The doctor said putting down his clip board

I was filled with rage. There was no way in hell [name], the love of my life just died and they stood there doing nothing.

"What do you mean?! How could you left them die just like that?! This is your job! To save people!" I said tears pricking my eyes as I didn't believe was I just heard

"I'm sorry sir really, but they died before we could do anything..." the nurse said as now tears poured down my face

"No no no no fuck that! You can take them away from me! You can't...take them away.." I said as I fell to my knees the tears taking over me as I started to cry into my hands

The doctor patted me on the shoulder as he told me "you can say goodbye to them.." he said making my head shoot up as tears still poured down my face leaving black streams on my cheeks

He lead me to the room. I felt cold and stale. I looked at my now dead partner. Who just a few minutes ago was so full of life and warmth. Now laid before me cold and unmoving.

I broke down again. My heart breaking slowly as the realization sunk it. I will never be able to see them again. I be able to hold them. I feel them. And it's all my fault. It I didn't push myself away we wouldn't be in this place

If I cared more about them we wouldn't be in this place!

I walked over to the bed. I saw [names] pale and cold face. I brushed my finger against their once rosy cheeks.

More tears ran down my face as I gripped their hand. I didn't want to say goodbye. Not now. I wanted to just take them to the air port. Atleast give them a kiss goodbye.

After awhile the doctors escorted me out and as I left the hospital reporters and journalists were outside waiting for me. I pushed them away as they asked me questions about [name] it brought me into more tears. Tom finally got to me and led me to his car and took me home.

I did nothing but cry for weeks. I couldn't eat. I couldn't sleep. I could barely get up in the morning. To leave my bed. I felt like a brick kept my head from not moving off my pillow.

"Bill...when was the last to you ate?" Tom asked me. I couldn't bring myself to find words. I wasn't hungry. I didn't want to eat. I had lost my appetite

I felt stuck. Tom forced me to go to therapy. I later got prescribed some anti-depressants. After awhile I started to get this euphoric feeling. I felt like a need to take this everyday. It was something I looked forward too. Before that me and Tom got into some fights

"Listen I'm sorry man but they are dead! Okay! You can't be mad at me because I wasn't there! I know you feel sad but don't take it out on me." Tom said yelling from the kitchen

"So what I can't fucking feel sad!?" I asked standing up from the couch

"You can feel sad! But there is no need to take it out on me!" Tom yelled back, after that me and Tom didn't talk for a few days

But the medicine...

It made me not think. And if I didn't think I wouldn't be sad. So as time went on and on I wouldn't get them euphoric feeling. I wouldn't feel happy. The medicine didn't work.

I told my therapist about it but she didn't do anything about it saying I sound "keep the same dosage" and as time went on I found myself in the same situation yet again. Not wanting to do anything...

Days would turn to how they used to be. Long and boring. I would stay in my room. I would rarely shower. Barely brush my teeth. Barely eat. I felt numb...

So when I got a refill on my prescription I got a bottle vodka and my full bottle of anti-depressants. I down it fit full after fit full. I could feel the euphoric feeling again. I felt weightless.

I could feel myself go in and out of consciousness and I felt myself in the euphoria. I felt tired...I couldn't move. Tom opened the door to check on me..

I could hear his muffled screams. I could make out a few words "how could you do this?" "Why?" "Can you hear me?" But I could respond. I couldn't move...

I could feel myself getting closer to [name] again...and I could apologize for killing them..

I'm sorry Tom...I'm sorry [name]