Cowboy Like Me

o n e

The sun's rays seemed to burn through her shirt and stung her skin, warming up the fabric that hugged her sleeves. She lightly held onto the worn reins that supported her partner in crime, each gallop more tired than the last, mirroring Taylor's slight soft hand movements on the horse. Nothing could be heard but the occasional tap of the harness metals against the saddle, and cicadas singing their tune to the inferno of what seemed as endless summer.

Sand blown by the wind forced Taylor to squint her eyes as she set her sights on the town that was a few miles away. She could spot the occasional carriage and horse moving back and forth between the scarce worn down buildings. Other cowboys walking in and out of the town's bar, stumbling out in defeat, and walking in with high hopes of taking a forgiving cold sip of something that could cure them from the never ending fever of the West. Taylor thought about the countless times she was in their place, the bar became her home outside of home as she fought a battle with herself. Every afternoon after her morning patrol guarding the town's limits, a pitcher or glass full to the brim promised her relief; although bitter, she found a way to savor the little sweetness of it all.

She had befriended the old bartender, a retired sheriff who's seen better days. Whiskey Bill had become a father figure for her in a way. He always made sure to become a crutch for her on the way home as she struggled to keep it all in once she came close to her doorstep. The way he placed his arms around her protectively made her feel safe, like he had been her father since birth, something she never failed to wish for almost daily. She envisioned him there now, welcoming her into the chilly bar with a wide smile, wrinkles moving excitedly as he asked her if she'd be having her usual. The golden haired girl had never been much for talking, but once she had a few under her belt, Bill knew exactly how to coax her into drunk therapy sessions that always had her break down on the worn down bar stools.

She thought she might go in for a taste of relief until she came back to her senses and felt the sand in her boots, scraping against her jeans and flesh, now anxious to get out of her clothes, she encouraged Willow to gallop a little faster. She thought that maybe today would be the day she would let herself enjoy the afternoon, let go her responsibilities for the evening and maybe go into the bar for a while and at least feel her loneliness with a crowd instead of the usual couch and TV.

Bill liked to tirelessly remind Taylor that he was worried about her; "Too much solitude is never good for the soul, give yourself a chance with a lady won't you? I know those arms are good for more than just carrying bales."

She scoffed at the thought of it. Taylor had indeed tried to see her life with a woman once, but she had become too frightened by the idea of walking hand in hand amongst the townspeople, not because she didn't like the display of it, but she never felt safe from onlookers that could say, or harm then in any way because they were two women. Now that society had become completely restructured, she woke up one day to her lover gone. Only hearing from Bill that she had gone off and married the son of a Mayor from another town, leaving Taylor on her own to reap the safety of being on the arm of a man. Taylor understood her in a way, being the way they were could only bring danger from too tough Cowboys and one of their crook gangs to harass, or even kill them for their way of life and not face repercussions. But from that point on, Taylor swore off any kind of relationship with anybody in that way, other than standing guard in the mornings at the town's limit line would be the only occasions she allowed herself to speak to people.

Of course to that exception was John. Her housemate that annoyed her with his yearning for a real partner that could win any and all duels. "I don't want a cowboy Taylor, I want a cowman." He would say after he finished reading one of his many romance novels that he'd stolen from the old society's library outside of town. John turned out to be just like her, when they met they proposed to each other to live together and pretend to be with one another to deceive the curious townspeople, who after a while became suspicious of Taylor being visibly nauseated when men attempted to approach her romantically. Only did the whispers subside when she showed up with John leading her on Willow, to which Taylor absolutely felt ridiculous doing.