How My Brain Ended Up Inside This Box

Chapter Seven

I could tell that Parsnip was exasperated. There she was, about to be the leader, being so far ahead in development and all, and half the team simply refused to be led, and possibly some of them were actually further settled than she was.

"What just happened?" she groaned, cradling her head her arms on the table.

"Hurricanes on Saturn can be larger than our entire planet," Random said. Did I mention that he often said ridiculous things for apparently no reason? Parsnip peeked up at him and shook her head.

"Does anybody understand what's going on here?"

"I think I do," I answered.

"But how did we grow so fast?" Random wondered aloud. "I think I get the passing of time and all, days and nights and that sort of thing, but if I'm not wrong, it takes other people years to do what we did in weeks."

"You're not wrong," Parsnip said, straightening up and resuming an air of confidence. "I've thought about it a lot, and I've come to the conclusion that our bones are made of different stuff, more elastic, more flexible, and perhaps some of our organs too. We look exactly like them, but inside we're not the same. They fashioned us in their own image for some reason. Why do they need us to look like them?"

"Scarecrows used to be made of straw," my buddy noted.

"But why not simply robots?" Parsnip continued, ignoring him. "Why are they growing people instead of manufacturing machines? It's got to be a lot easier, not to mention more predictable," she added, clearly thinking about our classmates.

"Evolution is not predictable," Random said. "Mutations are the engine that drives it. Change and adapt. Adapt and change."

"Maybe it's like they're playing the lottery!" Parsnip exclaimed. "You're on to something there."

"Seek and ye shall find," he grinned.

"Margaux can see the future," Parsnip murmured, but Random didn't buy it.

"Maybe in a general way. I really don't believe her. The Margaux I know couldn't see three feet in front of her face."

"Midgerette says we're all essentially blind," I offered, but they ignored me.

"We're all changing every day we settle," Parsnip said, and then turning to me she asked,

"How long have you been talking to animals?"

"Always," I said. "As far as I can remember. There was Folder, the squirrel. He was my first."

"Oh that's what you were always talking about," Random said. "I thought you were talking about a piece of paper or something."

"So you were born that way?" Parsnip shook her head. "Maybe, but I doubt it. More likely it was something they did to you. What did they do to us?"

"All I remember is Smoothies," I said and she jumped up and nearly shouted.

"That's got to be it. They put something in the drinks. Lots of somethings, I'll bet. And I always thought we were all getting the same thing."

"I got a lot of Chocolate," I admitted.

"Coconut for me," Random said.

"There were lots of flavors," Parsnip said, sitting back down. "Probably the flavors were just disguising the programming, or whatever it was we were absorbing. We all learned different things. Maybe we're like pieces that are supposed to fit together. Or maybe we're all just trial and error. But some of us developed unusual abilities? I don't think I got any powers," she added after a moment, and sounded kind of sad about it.

"Me either," said Random. "Unless being weird is a sort of power."

"You never know," Parsnip said. "But we're still in danger. At least I think we are."

"The old guy!" I said, "and Mother."

"And the others," Parsnip said.

"What others?" I asked. "You mean like Mrs Blather?"

"Who's Mrs. Blather?" Random asked.

"Oh, she's someone Mother talks to on the phone sometimes," I said. "She lets me listen in. She's always telling Mrs. Blather how stupid I am, and how smart you are. I think she makes me listen on purpose. Midgerette says she hates me."

"I mean the others, like the guards," Parsnip quickly brought us back to business.

"I never saw any guards," Random said. "The only other people I've ever seen are the teachers, Elephant Man and Miss Snotty McSnotch."

"They're not real teachers," Parsnip sneered, "they're Smoothie dispensers, kitchen help. They probably wash the dishes too. I've seen them mop the floors at night. The guards are mean-looking men and they have guns. That's who I'm afraid of."

Not teachers? Mopping the floors? Armed guards? My head was spinning.

"How many guards are there?" I asked.

"I don't know for sure," Parsnip said. "They all look exactly alike so it's really hard to tell. I've seen three together once, but I think there's a lot more of them. They hide in the big house, maybe in the basement. I think the old guy keeps them locked up. There was this one time one of them looked at me like he was going to eat me for dinner."

"What do they look like?"

"Like soldiers," she said. "Big and strong and bald."

"Do they have tattoos of pretty girls on their arms?" Random wanted to know.

"Bloody spikes," Parsnip said.

"What are we going to do?" I moaned. I didn't want to see any guards or be eaten for dinner. I just wanted to get out of there.

"I have a plan," Parsnip said. "Or at least I had one. It kind of involved everyone. I was going to use somebody as a distraction and while they were doing their distracting thing the rest of us were going to sneak out over the back wall."

"That wall is super high," Random said. "I don't even know what's on the other side."

"Neither do I," Parsnip admitted.

"And it's got broken glass all along the top," he said. "You can see it shining in the sun sometime."

"Well, then maybe dig a tunnel?" Parsnip suggested.

"I thought you said you had a plan" Random said.

"We have less than an hour before the sun comes up," I said. "We'd better start digging."

"Too bad that squirrel isn't around anymore," Random said.

"He died," I told him. "Mother bashed his head in with a rock. She also killed Midgerette's partner."

"No wonder the bird hates her," Random said. Nobody else said anything for another minute or two. Things were not looking so good. I didn't know what kind of distraction Parsnip had in mind, but I was getting the feeling that she wasn't nearly as "advanced" as she evidently thought she was. I wished Midgerette was there. She was by far the smartest person I knew.