Sirenic Menace

⑲How?

  
A world-weary soul was seated on a leather chair, surrounded by exquisite pieces of art adorning the walls of the sophisticated, average-sized store.

Taehyung’s deep-set eyes, steeped in a cesspool of languor and ringed with red, stared at the blank page on the computer’s screen for a while now. All they could see was Jungkook’s gorgeous face — the same image that was embedded in his head. He ached with a need to draw him and all of their memories. But he restricted his urge until he would be in the privacy of his apartment again.

It was torture, just like he had thought. Being away from him. He lacked zest to do anything, though he couldn’t keep his store closed for another day. His savings had already been reduced greatly by his costly trip to Jeju Island, and they were about to be depleted by the bills he had to settle.

He was broke and broken, and his will to triumph over that wrenching combination was scant.

He couldn’t blame him or be mad at him. Taehyung asked for it. He told him, “Be a mistake. Break my heart. Don’t fall for me,” and Jungkook did all three. Maybe he said this because deep down he believed Jungkook would return his feelings eventually. At that moment, he truly didn’t care about the consequences — didn’t care about anything else than feeling every inch of him to the core.

And there he was, Taehyung, who did everything right his whole life, only had two dull relationships in the past, and never had his heart broken, drowned in his self-made ocean of misery and devastation.

Of course, he regretted his behavior at the final moment of their separation. He had the chance to kiss him one more time, hold him, feel him, but he was so overcome with pained fury he couldn’t think sanely. That sickening emotion still vibrated tamely beneath his skin. In fact, he was just a being with a forest of conflicting, tempestuous feelings that kept forming eddies inside him and spiked with every unbind memory of Jungkook.

It was just the first day without him. Forgetting him gradually with the passage of time seemed unattainable to happen. And, to be honest, he didn’t want to. Even if it hurt more than he could handle, he didn’t want to forget Jungkook and all of their memories. No, he wanted to meet him again and create new ones.

  
The first set of customers captured his wandering mind and gifted a tinge of brightness in his haggard features. He welcomed them and let them browse the collection of paintings, souvenirs, and shirts with stamps and drawings he had created.

And his day carried on like this; he smiled his wretchedness away at the presence of customers and sank in it throughout when he was left alone until Seo Hyang came for his afternoon shift.

Seo Hyang was his employee since he opened the store two years ago, and he became a very good friend of his rather quickly. The twenty-four-year-old man was bubbly and cheery and always enlivened Taehyung’s sulky mood when he was insecure, troubled about money, or just gloomy about anything.

It was impossible to mask his agony from him. Taehyung was quite vibrant himself usually, and Seo Hyang picked up on his distress at first glance. The customers that kept coming prevented Taehyung from explaining the reason of his state, and he instead promised to him they would go for drinks sometime soon to tell him everything.

He wouldn’t share any details about Jungkook, of course, but the thought of talking about the wringing ache in his heart with that cordial man seemed a notch soothing.

🥀

Jungkook felt numb. As if every emotion was crushed from him and only gut-wrenching apathy remained.

An unbearable pounding girdled his head since the moment he woke up from all the alcohol he guzzled yesterday, and it only diminished a fraction when he dragged his soulless form out of his nest of misery to take a shower.