Queening. - A Chess Tale

Chapter 3

Stepping out of the tunnels is something I imagined a lot during the past few hours walking through these empty tunnels. I expected a warm welcome, a forest with the sunlight shining through the leaves or perhaps a beach and the waves reflecting the light, a beautiful field of flowers, a lake glistening in the moonlight. Perhaps we would end up in some sort of building with two comfortable beds and a shower. Never have I dared to imagine what is actually lying before me now. Never have I dared to imagine what I should have known. What I should have expected. Because the moment I climbed out of the trap door in the ceiling I'm once again standing on the battlefield. I look around for something that might indicate on which part of the field we might be but there was nothing but destruction and death. There were a lot of people. Soldiers, to be exact. Too busy fighting each other to notice.

'So, does that mean we should continue to fight, then?' Matthieu says. I glare at him. He can't be serious.

'Relax,' he continues, 'I'm not going to try to kill you.'

'I'd hope so,' I say.

For a moment neither of us says anything. Then, Matthieu suggests parting ways. I nod because that seems the most sensical thing to do. Part ways. Never see each other again. So that we never have to fight one another. I look around in search for the answer of where to go. To my left, I see trees in the distance. If I go that way, I could hide between the trees. Once I get there, I might be able to get to the black border unnoticed. Not having to fight. Not having to kill. That might be the smartest choice. The safest choice. I point in that direction.

'I'm going this way,' I say.

'Then I'll go that one,' Matthieu says and points in another direction with no clear landmarks whatsoever. I wonder if he's going to continue to fight or not but I don't ask. I shouldn't. It wouldn't even matter if I did. Another moment of silence.

'So, this is goodbye then?' I ask. For some reason this is not feeling as sweet as I thought it would. For some foolish reason I wanted to return to the tunnels. Go back, find out more about Antoine and Georges. Find out more about Matthieu. But that is not what I was here for. Once I reach the border and become queen, I can go home. I can go to Antoine, I can ask him all about it. But first, I have to fulfil my duties.

'No,' he says.

'What do you mean 'no'?' I reply. It was his idea to part ways. What is he doing now?

'No, I won't abandon you quite yet. You're going to get yourself killed before you even reach the forest.'

'Why does everyone keep saying that?' I exclaim, annoyed by his audacity, 'I am not going to get myself killed. I can take care of myself perfectly well, thank you very much.'

Instead of answering, Matthieu gives me a look.

'So, what do you want me to do, then? Go back down the tunnels?' I say.

'Look, princess. All I'm saying is that you might not be able to survive getting across that field on your own. Next to you, there's a well trained soldier willing to help you. For free. It's a good offer. I'd consider it if I were you.'

'Yes, I know that. But I don't need your help.' I say, suddenly very annoyed at him. I know he's right. But for some stupid stupid reason I don't want to admit it. I don't want him to perceive me as the weak little princess he thinks I am. My brother was right. One day my stubbornness is going to get me killed.

'No offence but you really do.'

I sigh, 'Fine.'

As soon as that word leaves my lips, he takes my hand and pulls me forward. He keeps me close to him, navigating me through all of the black and white soldiers. Suddenly a black glove grabs my wrist and pulls me back. My other hand starts to slip from Matthieu's grip. He turns around and with a swift motion he's in front of me, punching the black soldier hard. He lets go of my wrist and stumbles back a few steps. I use the moment to turn around and run further towards the forest, Matthieu right beside me. We duck beneath punches and jump over bodies. We push people to the side and squeeze between them. We're running as if our life depends on it. Probably because it quite literally does. We're running and within minutes we've reached the first trees. Still, we only stop when we're fully out of reach. I lean against a near-by tree, breathing heavily.

'Thank you,' I gasp.

'Of course,' he says, out of breath, also, 'this is where we say goodbye.'

'Well, then. It was nice meeting you, Matthieu. Goodbye.' I offer him my hand.

'It was very nice meeting you too, princess.' Instead of shaking my hand, he took it and brushed his lips against my knuckles, watching me. For a moment he remains there before pulling back and turning around. He's walking away, toward the field. He's not looking back. I pull out a compass out of my vest pocket and start walking north. I'm not looking back either.

♕

I've been walking for a while, when it suddenly starts to rain. Water is pouring down all of a sudden. The cold is creeping up my spine, the raindrops soaking my hair, my skirt. I am going to catch a cold. Still I do not stop.
There is no shelter in sight so I really do not have a choice. My formerly white boots are now stained brown with mud. My skirt is sticking to my legs, my hair clutched to my head. Cold water is running down my face and I can't tell if it's all rain or if a few tears have sneaked their way onto my cheeks as well. It doesn't matter. I push all of my negative thoughts away and focus on the road ahead. I need to focus, and I need to keep going. I need to find a shelter and some food. Step by step, I'm slowly making my way forward. Around me there was nothing but trees. There was no end in sight, nothing that would protect me from the cold water drops. That's when I noticed that my cape was gone. I must have lost it during the explosion.

My stomach is starting to act up again. I've eaten so little since the night before I've left the castle. I feel through my pocket to find the cracker Matthieu had given me in the tunnels but it is all soaked through and entirely uneatable. I consider throwing it away but my stomach growls and I stuff what's left of the cracker into my mouth. I sigh. Well, that didn't help.

I'm stumbling over my own feet, trying to get forward. Focus, I tell myself, focus, Claire. You can't give up now.

I try to hold myself up by gripping the trees next to me, but it's of no use. I keep stumbling, my entire body trembling of cold, the water drops so cold, piercing through me like a thousand small needles. I fall to the ground. No, I can't give up now. I want to keep going, I need to keep going, need to find food. I can't die. Not now. Not here. Yet, I am a pathetic little girl, crawling through the mud trying to find some berries or anything to eat. I am desperate, so desperate to find warmth and comfort and- I slip again. This time I'm fully lying on the ground and I consider getting up. I try to force my muscles to move but they won't obey. They have their own mind and that mind is telling them to stay in the mud. I can't help but surrender. Give up. I am going to die in a sad little forest on my sad little hunger. Matthieu would be laughing at me. 'Oh, that small little princess thought she could survive war and fight me, when she can't even take a bit of rain!' That's what he would say. And he would be no bit wrong. I can't even survive a bit of rain. I was never going to be a good queen. I was never going to be able to lead the war. I'm already starving to death— and yet, I'm here. I'm still conscious. I don't have to give up yet, I could still go further, save myself. I could prove Matthieu wrong. I could prove that old white soldier wrong. I lift my face up from the ground. Slowly I sit back on my feet. I lift myself to my feet and slowly start walking again. It's still raining but I've already started to ignore it. I set one foot in front of the other. I use the near-by trees to steady myself. I am not going to give up this fast.
I drag myself forward, step by step until — Over there! Something's moving. A shadow. It's coming closer and- something, no, someone is wrapping their arms around, trying to talk to me. My vision is blurry, I can't understand a word. The world is spinning and suddenly it isn't. It is all black.