Behind The Scenes (Our Journey)

chapter 4

Tay took Fourth to the room he shared with New, Off and Gun since they were all in the other room with Gemini and the others assessing the situation.

Fourth was at a point of a mental breakdown. His cries were uncontrollable.

"Nong what's wrong?" Tay said softly rubbing Fourth's back.

"I hurt him phi, I-I hurt Gem." Fourth said through his cries.

"It's okay Fourth he will understand, it was just an accident." Tay replied trying to comfort the younger.

"No P'Tay you don't understand, things between Gem and I are not the same. He-he is not my Gem anymore." Fourth cried out.

"Fourth what are you talking about? Of course he is still your Gemini. You guys are friends and I don't think this little accident will change anything. So please don't be too hard on yourself." Tay said trying his out most best to comfort his junior.

"You don't understand P'Tay. Things between us will never be the same again. Never again will he be my Gem again." Fourth said sobbing.

"Nong Fot, you are not making any sense. Please stop crying." Tay said rubbing Fourth's back.

"I tried to stop loving him phi. I- I really tried but I can't." Fourth said sobbing making Tay even more confused.

"Nong Fot... you are not talking about the accident are you?" Tay asked softly, trying to process and make sense of what Fourth was telling him. Fourth nodded his head, trying to calm himself down.

But it hurt! It hurt so bad that his chest physically ached.

"You know phi I thought to myself that if I can't stop loving him then maybe- maybe I could get myself to hate him. Hate him for leaving me and smashing my heart in pieces but I can't." Fourth said with his hands tightly clutching his chest.

"Fot..." Tay said softly in an almost whisper, that's the only thing he could say watching Fourth cry uncontrollably.

"I wish he did something wrong, maybe if I knew he didn't love me anymore or maybe if he was a psychopath without any feelings then maybe- just maybe I could be able to move on." Fourth said softly, his sobbings slowly subsiding but the hurt in his voice was still evident.

Tay couldn't say anything, he didn't know what to say. What say to comfort the heartbroken junior sitting next to him.

"Tell me P'Tay how do I move on when he did nothing wrong? I wish he did something wrong, maybe if he was a villain in this story then maybe I could hate him and be able to move on from him." Fourth said tears streaming down from his red swollen eyes.

It had been months since they broke up but it still hurt, his heart hurt so bad like it was literally tearing apart. Maybe their love was doomed from the start.

"Nong Fot, I am sorry na." Tay said encircling Fourth into a hug.

Fourth remained in Tay's arms silently crying until he couldn't physically cry anymore.

"Take a nap so long na, I will make sure no one disturbs you." Tay said softly and Fourth nodded rubbing his swollen eyes.

Tay went upstairs to the other room to check on the situation. He had been with Fourth for almost an hour. Seeing Fourth like that broke his heart, he didn't know how much Fourth was hurting. The younger was always cheerful and smiling so brightly that he never noticed the pain behind his eyes.

"P'Tay do you know where Fourth is? We have been trying to reach him but his phone is off. It's like he vanished into thin air." Phuwin asked worried, being one of Fourth's close friends he knew the younger tends to take things real hard, Fourth tends to be too hard on himself.