I was washing my hands when Katy entered the toilet.
"Don't do anything stupid," she says, as if reading my mind.
"What exactly do you have in mind? If you mean Luke, don't worry. He's not my type, as far as I know, newly single." I speak.
"Well, no soup is eaten as hot as it is cooked. I think this Noah was a bit hasty." She comes to the sink where I'm drying my hands.
I'm not burdened with anything today.
I don't want any.
Luke is a good man, under any other circumstances he would be great fun, but after all this I don't think it's fair to him or to me to drag him into all this.
Into my messed-up life.
" Nothing will happen. "I say back as he still looks at me strangely. Even though I'm drying my hands and facing the wall, I can feel their eyes on my back.
"I'm not the kind of girl who jumps from flower to flower." I keep talking, looking into her eyes.
"It's good we cleared this up. So, you don't ever regret it," she replies.
"Regret it? Never." I say, turning on my heel, straightening my dress and bravely walking towards the VIP area.
Adrenaline flows through my veins. Courage is on the rise. Or alcohol. I hear Katya's footsteps behind me.
She's right behind me.
I make my way to Luke and Ben. How I wish Noah were here with me.
He is in my every thought, in my every breath, my whole body is saturated with him. Even though he said today that he doesn't want to be with me anymore, I don't know how to get him out of my heart.
˝Hey, I'm back. ˝ I say hello.
˝Nice, we bet you ran away. ˝ Luke says, laughing.
˝Why? Because of you? ˝ I laugh.
˝Well, we've been together once, and that's it. How is Noah, by the way? I heard he had an operation. ˝ he asks.
As if someone had punched me in the stomach.
"It's good, I think. ˝ I answer a little uncertainly. I don't believe my own words.
˝Are you not together anymore? ˝ asks Luka, and of course he adds one plus one when he sees how uncertain I am.
˝Sorry. I'm just celebrating my bachelorhood. ˝ I say back.
I pour oil on this difficult situation I find myself in. I'm too sober for these debates and my heart hurts too much to endure them.
˝Oh, I didn't know. If I'd known, I wouldn't have asked. You two seemed perfect, made for each other. ˝ Luke replies.
I know what he means, I know he doesn't mean it badly, but this conversation is going in the wrong direction and this is definitely not how I imagined this evening to go.
There is too much pain, too much.
On the other hand, the time we could be together, the time we have left, is running out because there isn't enough of it anymore, because he doesn't want us to be together, why doesn't he want us to be together? I think in my head.
My thoughts are interrupted by Katy. ˝ Do you want to go home? ˝she whispers in my ear.
˝Yes. Let's go. ˝ I say.
We say goodbye and leave. I admit that all the excitement of the clubs has passed me by.
We take our coats in the cloakroom and leave through the exit. The evening was cold.
أنت تقرأ
Izzy & Noah ✔️
عاطفيةTHE FIRST PART OF THE LONDON SERIES Izzy leaves everything behind to start fresh in London-a city of strangers, of second chances, and of painful truths. She finds a flat, a job in palliative care, and the beginnings of a life she's unsure she deser...
